Showing posts with label ActualWriting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ActualWriting. Show all posts

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Denver 5 Comics 86-90

Denver 5 is an unillustrated comic strip about a group of dicks that are vaguely acquainted with one another because they are all endowed with metahuman abilities. Character descriptions are here.

<-Previous           First               Next->

Comic 086
1. THE SPIDER is surrounded by people, many of them in costume. There's an assembled crowd. In the very back, the two uniformed figures from Comic 085 (Guards 85-1 and 85-2) are visible.

CHORUS
"Love your costume!"
"Were you there Friday?"
"Is this your first cosplay?"

THE SPIDER
"Ah, no. I come every year."

2. Same shot, but there's the flash of someone taking a picture and THe Spider squints slightly at it with all of his eyes. In the background, Guards 85-1 and 85-2 are getting closer, plowing through the crowd.

CHORUS
"Look at that articulation on the mouth!"
"I don't think he's tall enough."
"Can I get a picture with you."

3. Same shot, but The Spider is looking back, directly at the approaching security officers.

CHORUS
"Does the real Spider have that accent?"
"You let me take a picture with you last year."
"What's with the jacket?"

The Spider
"Well, you see, I'm ah..."

4. Wider shot. The Spider is moving into the crowd, off of the right side of the panel and handing his jacket back to TYLER FOSS, who was just off of the left side of the panel for the rest of the strip. Tyler is utterly bewildered at this. 


THE SPIDER
"Yes, we take a few pictures."

Thursday, October 03, 2013

Denver 5 Comics 81-85

Denver 5 is an unillustrated comic strip about a group of dicks that are vaguely acquainted with one another because they are all endowed with metahuman abilities. Character descriptions are here.

<-Previous           First               Next->

Comic 81
1. TYLER FOSS and THE SPIDER are walking around Cherry Creek Mall. Tan, faux marble floors and facades. Glass dividers and storefronts with bright silver handrails and detailing. In the background, there are some cosplayers. They and others look at the pair of metas as they walk into a clothing store, side by side.

Tyler: "You don't have to watch me; I was just kidding with you about causing trouble."
 
2. The Spider is checking out a rack of coats on a clearance rack.

Tyler: "I just wanted to hang with someone without a lecture on Ehm-theory and responsibility."

3. The Spider has picked out a coat [See reference] and is taking it to check out.

Tyler: "...you notice how we never train to work as a team?"

4. The Spider is offering the coat with a pile of cash to a cashier who is staring, aghast, at his mouth. Tyler looks sad.

The Spider: "We're not a team." "We'll never be a team." "We'll never work together."

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Denver 5 Comics 76-80

Denver 5 is an unillustrated comic strip about a group of dicks that are vaguely acquainted with one another because they are all endowed with metahuman abilities. Character descriptions are here.

<-Previous           First               Next->

Comic 076
1. THE DENVER FACILITY BREAK ROOM (See Comic 11 for reference). In addition, there's a Key Rack on the side of the refrigerator, towards the front so it doesn't catch on the door. THE SPIDER is sitting in the couch, reading a copy of The Rocky Mountain News (a newspaper which is defunct IRL). Through the interior wooden door behind him, TYLER FOSS is leaning through.

TYLER FOSS
"Hey. I'm going to the mall. Wanna come?"

2. We're looking at The Spider head-on, from a POV just inside of the newspaper. He's pointing his left hand at his face.

THE SPIDER
"This is not a mask. I'm a violent vigilante."

3. We're back to the POV from Panel 1. The Spider's word bubble continues across to this panel. His hands are both back on the newspaper. Tyler is standing in the room now.

THE SPIDER
"I'm hated by criminals, wanted by the police, and loathed by activists hunting for a cause."

4. Same POV. Tyler is curious and has stepped a bit closer to The Spider.

TYLER FOSS
"You're worried they'll catch you?"

THE SPIDER
"I'm worried your ego will be collateral damage when they do."
 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Denver 5 Comics, 61-65

Denver 5 is an unillustrated comic strip about a group of dicks that are vaguely acquainted with one another because they are all endowed with metahuman abilities. Character descriptions are here.

<-Previous           First               Next->

Comic 061
1. THE DENVER FACILITY CENTRAL CLASSROOM. It has two rows of four wide tables. Each table has a four seats and each row his higher than the next. At the front of the room are a large electronic "blackboard," a simple, wooden podium, and a table with a matte black top. Brown, zig-zag soundproofing covers the side of the room. There are single doors on either side of the front of the room and double doors on each side of the back wall. TYLER FOSS and THE SPIDER are entering the front right door with notebooks and pencils. You can see the entire front room of the class here and only The Spider and Tyler are visible.

TYLER FOSS
"Class? Really?"

2. Same shot, but Tyler is moving towards the front left table. Spider is trailing further behind, taking the room in.
TYLER FOSS
"This is way too early. I just woke up, like, five minutes ago."

3. Shot over Tyler's shoulder as he puts his books on the table. He's looking off to the left in surprise. This is probably the first shot which allows you to see the two back doors of the classroom.

TYLER FOSS
"I was up until two playing--"

THE SPIDER (OFF-PANEL)
"I've been up for 72 hours sraight."

4. POV is from Tyler. The Spider is sitting at the left table, second chair from the center aisle stairs. His posture is tight and focused, spine straight, feet on the floor. As much as possible, he's staring straight forward.
THE SPIDER
"In another 12, the hallucinations start."

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Denver 5 Comics, 56-60

Denver 5 is an unillustrated comic strip about a group of dicks that are vaguely acquainted with one another because they are all endowed with metahuman abilities. Character descriptions are here.

<-Previous           First               Next->

Comic 056
1. In the police station office from strip 28. OLDER OFFICER is looking up from a report he was reading. OFFICER 56-1 (Female) is standing in the doorway. She's carrying a folder.

OFFICER 56-1
"Spider caught Jesse Childs."

OLDER OFFICER
"St. Lukes?"

OFFICER 56-1
"St. Lukes."

2. OFFICER 56-1 and OLDER OFFICER still in the office, but Older Officer is getting his coat on. She's reading the folder to him.

OFFICER 56-1
"They say Childs flipped his car through The Spider."

OLDER OFFICER
"Fucking Spider."

3. OFFICER 56-1 and OLDER OFFICER walking through the police station towards the exit. She's still reading the folder. He's grabbing a coffee from a small table with coffee supplies.

OFFICER 56-1
"Units were already in the area because of a building collapse."

OLDER OFFICER
"Fucking Spider."

4. OFFICER 56-1 and OLDER OFFICER outside of the police station, just past the awning from comic 37 (This was incorrectly described as an eave when it is in fact an awning.). The older officer has his keys pulled out is unlocking the key to his car. His other hand is still holding the coffee.

OFFICER 56-1
"There was a second vehicle involved in the crash. We don't think it's related."

OLDER OFFICER
"Fucking Spider."

Thursday, May 02, 2013

Denver 5 Proof of Concept, pt 06

A few months ago, I and a friend kicked around an aborted comics project featuring superhuman jerks being jerks on a truly superhuman level. Character descriptions are here and the pilot plots are posted below.


Comic 026
1. Tyler Foss is in the back of a police car. Two cops, Passenger and Driver, are in the front seat.
 

Tyler
"You know I can lift cars, right?"

Passenger
"Yeah."

Tyler
"Then why the cuffs?"

Driver
"Procedure."

2. Same as 1. Police officers are irritated.

Tyler
"But they do nothing. It's inconvenient for me not to break them."

Passenger
"Procedure."

3. Tight focus on Tyler through grid of the police car. His expression is scornful.

Tyler
"That's stup--"

4. Original POV including all three men. The screech of brakes is prominent in the picture. Tyler is being thrown forward, painfully, into the grid. Both police officers are grinning slightly.

Driver
"Red light."


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Denver 5 Proof of Concept, pt 05

A few months ago, I and a friend kicked around an aborted comics project featuring superhuman jerks being jerks on a truly superhuman level. Character descriptions are here and the pilot plots are posted below. 



Comic 021
1. Doctor Bob and Giohi are in Doctor Bob's office. Doctor Bob is on the phone. The clock on the wall indicates it's about 1 AM. Doctor Bob's pad is on the table.

Bob (to the person on the phone)
"Really? Yeah. He's here now."

2. Still in Dr. Bob's office. Cyber Paranoid is in the doorway now, curious. Doctor Bob looks at him like the irritant he is. He's got one hand over the phone's microphone to address CP.
Cyber Paranoid
"What's up?"

Dr. Roberts
"Someone died. Go away."

3. Same scene.
Doctor Bob (to the phone)
"Yes. We'll have him ready."

Cyber Paranoid
"Who's dead?"

Doctor Bob (whispering)
"Go away!"

4. Same scene.
Doctor Bob
"I'll contact our legal counsel."

Cyber Paranoid
"Who'll be ready?"

Doctor Bob (whispering)

"Quit hacking my pad!"

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Denver 5 Proof of Concept, pt 04

A few months ago, I and a friend kicked around an aborted comics project featuring superhuman jerks being jerks on a truly superhuman level. Character descriptions are here and the pilot plots are posted below. 


Comic 016
1. View of Doctor Roberts' office. GUY DREIL stands at the door, opposite DOCTOR ROBERTS, who's sitting at his desk. There should be bookshelves along the wall closer to Bob and a window closer to Guy.
Smith (CAPTION BOX)
"My name is Thomas Smith."
 
Guy Dreil
"You don't seem concerned. He's left the compound without permission."
  
Smith (CAPTION BOX)
"I'm not in this one."

2. Still in Dr. Bob's office.
 
Smith (CAPTION BOX)
"I was thinking about lies today."
 
Dr. Roberts
"Of course not. In all likelihood he went home to visit his parents."
 
Smith (CAPTION BOX)
"There are plenty of factual things which are perfect lies."

3. TYLER is in a club, dancing with TASHA, an attractive woman his age.
Smith (CAPTION BOX)
"...and more falsehoods that are the truth."
 
Tyler
"Me? I'm a student at CSU, but I'm taking a semester off to reevaluate."
 
4. Still in the club.
Smith (CAPTION BOX)
"Sometimes, two people lie because they want to believe."
 
Tasha
"Really? That's cool."

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Denver 5 Proof of Concept, pt 03

A few months ago, I and a friend kicked around an aborted comics project featuring superhuman jerks being jerks on a truly superhuman level. Character descriptions are here and the pilot plots are posted below.



Comic 011
1. Cyberparanoid is in a hallway. He obviously sneaking.

CYBERPARANOID (CAPTION BOX)
"I'm a spy, working within the belly of the beast."

2. Close up on Cyberparanoid as he sneaks through a door. He's turning invisible, so half of him should be...invisible.
CYBERPARANOID (CAPTION BOX)
"U.N.I.T.Y.'s altrustic exterior can't be trusted and I'm here to find out the truth. My ability to go unseen is crucial."

3. This is our first look into the break room. If the Denver U.N.I.T.Y. Compound faces the East, then the room is at the 'back' of the North side of the building. It has a simple door on the Eastern end and a clear door on the Western side which is all-glass. That door leads to an external metal staircase which leads down to the first floor and the yard beyond. Beside that door is a flatscreen TV mounted on the wall with a moth-eaten couch facing it. The opposite wall—beside the door that leads further into the compound has a refrigerator and a countertop which bends around to run along the north wall as well with a sink in it. The northern wall between the countertop and the west wall has small windows that run along the top with cheap, gaudy curtains covering them. Cyberparanoid is at the lounge refrigerator taking a Rockin' Fuel bottle from it.
CYBERPARANOID (CAPTION BOX)
"I'm a soldier in a war most will never see."

4. Cyberparanoid sneaks out the way he came in, drinking the Rocket Fuel.
OFFSCREEN VOICE
Who took the last Rocin' Fuel?!
CYBERPARANOID (CAPTION BOX)
"Spies live in a world wrapped in eternal moral greyness."

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Denver 5 Proof of Concept, pt 02

A few months ago, I and a friend kicked around an aborted comics project featuring superhuman jerks being jerks on a truly superhuman level. Character descriptions are here and the pilot plots are posted below.


005
*Doctor Bob, sitting at a desk with Tyler. This is a profile shot instead of the head-on shot of 001. It established that although the words are the same, this is actually a different strip.*
(DB): "All metas trained by U.N.I.T.Y. may be called upon at any time to serve a front-line role in an emergency."
---
*Shows Tyler using a defibrillator over a dummy. DB's voice continues, but he is, again, not present.*
DB: "Basic first aid should be administered unhesitatingly and expertly. U.N.I.T.Y. certification means saving lives, and doing so responsibly."
---
*Shows Tyler moving ambulances over a simple map of a city with fires on various buildings. OR with parts of a miniature city in front of him, a 'scoreboard' is behind him with a countdown timer and words similar to "Crisis Response Scenario 03." Regardless of the exact image, DB is again only narrating and not present. Again.*
DB: "Whether it's because of your meta abilities or perceived affiliation with U.N.I.T.Y., others will often defer to you in a crisis."
---
*Cuts back to Bob and Tyler in the room.*
DB: "Your goal is to be ready for any—"
Tyler *incredulous*: "Wait. The Spider is here?"


Friday, August 10, 2012

NaNoWriMo 2011: Editing is Complete

I just finished editing my NaNoWriMo 2011 work, Denver 5. I'm currently revising it, which includes adding (some) pieces I haven't written yet, punching up the parts that are written, and working out basic grammar, continuity, and typos. 

Once I'm done with that, I'll be ready to put out another version for folks to read, with the intent of getting feedback from them. My overall plan is to cycle through editing/revision and feedback cycles before calling it complete in a few months (possibly a year or so). For each cycle, I'd like to get one person who is intimately familiar with the source material (you know who you are) and one to two people who aren't so familiar with it to read and give some feedback. Ideally, each cycle except for the last will let me get feedback from people who haven't read it before, ensuring I can keep fresh eyes on it. The last cycle will be a "general" release so that everyone interested can give some input on the final version (not that I'll be super-worried about feedback at that point).

Long story short, if you want to read about super-folks being jerks assholes in a team origin story obviously written by a 20-something white middle class American dude*, then let me know.

Guidelines:
1) I'll mail you a printed, hard copy in a three-ring binder and arrange some included return postage. I can do an electronic copy, but the hard copy is a must because:

2) If I'm gonna pay to print, "bind," and ship you a 97-page booklet, you gotta be invested enough to read it, legibly mark it up, send it back to me, and be willing to arrange a conversation with me where you articulate your response to it (via phone, chat, skype, whatever).

3) This really only applies to folks I know in real life who already talk to each other about mundane stuff, but because I need fresh eyes on each revision, going to ask you guys not to share.

Anyway, comment, email, text, or hit me up on twitter if you're interested. First come first serve, just remember that because my current habitation, employment, and mood are determined by a series of daily 1D6 rolls, it might be a few weeks before any of this happens.

Thanks,
Kris

---
*Niche markets. Am I right, guys?

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

NaNoWriMo 2012 Update

We’re at the halfway point. How is everyone doing? Good. I’m actually halfway done. It is fucking eerie to be halfway done with a writing assignment halfway to the due date. That shit has not happened in a long, long time.

Speaking of ancient history, Monday and Tuesday officially marked the last week of Quinius. I messed it up again this year, but the things I got right were clearly great moments where I entered the very heart of my holiday and felt it beat. I wish I could be less douchey and vague about it, but that’s what I gots!

Back to NaNoWriMo. I’m at the halfway point, which should mean I’m halfway done with the story I wanted to tell. Not so! Let me demonstrate how behind/off track I am here:

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

NaNoWriMo 2011: The Denver Five excerpt

Eric Roberts had been working with UNITY from the very beginning. When the Lassick Incident broke, no one knew how to handle a mentally unstable, highly-manifested metahuman. He was a psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders at the time He had an office and estate in New York state, paid for with his empathic abilities, telling people about how the world wasn’t the harsh and unforgiving entity they’d imagine it was. He convinced people to trust in the innate kindness of others, to believe that most people wanted to help others.
When he’d seen the Lassick Incident, he’d been comfortable saying those words while hiding his own meta abilities. He’d been comfortable telling himself that discretion was a reasonable route when so much of mankind was still coming to grips with the implications of metahumanity, all too aware of how easy it was for people to focus exclusively on the dangers life’s changes presented at the loss of those opportunities.
Stopping Lassick and saving his victims cost Eric Roberts more than a comfortable practice and a nice house, but now, after helping so many metas become bearers of that message, he didn’t doubt it was the right thing for him to do.
None the less, there were less rewarding days, like today, when an invisible metahuman walks into his office, stands on his ceiling, and asks to sign up for UNITY training.
“I assume that your abilities consist of enhanced strength and the ability to mimic the coloration of any toaster pastry.”
“Um, no. I can turn invisible.” The voice sounded nervous and serious; either too stupid to get the joke or too serious, “I can also fly.”
Young too. Anxious. He took a moment to chide himself for trying to turn everyone into nails for his particular specialty of hammer.
“I think I, um, might have a selective ability to channel fundamental forces around my Ehm-field.”
Roberts leaned back. Definitely serious. And anxious. Middle class. Male. Not stupid.
“That’s certainly a thought. How much do you know about Ehm theory?”
“Just a little bit. I, uh, read about on net-uh, the internet.”
Definitely middle class and smart, but he’s pretending not to be. He wants to be the type of average citizen that doesn’t use net-plus.
Not everyone liked UNITY. Some people didn’t like it because they didn’t like metas. They didn’t like the idea of individual people randomly manifesting super human powers, they didn’t like the culture of acceptance that had largely grown up around such different people, and they didn’t like the thought that it was now slightly more likely that the person next to them in line at the grocery store could incinerate them with their eyes. There were also people who thought metas were all fine and good up to being the saviors of humanity, but who didn’t think that UNITY should be the default organization for training them. While not as vociferous or violent as the others, they did tend to be tenacious about undermining UNITY’s credibility at every turn.
Up to, and including, putting a sympathetic meta undercover at a UNITY facility.
“Go ahead and tell me what you know and I’ll fill in the rest. You might save yourself a few days of class time if you know what you’re talking about now.”
Dr. Roberts spent the next five minutes listening and nodding while filling out paperwork on his terminal. Yes, Ehm Theory was named for Doctor James Ehm, an Australian researcher believed to be the first person to manifest seven years ago. Yes, He created the first map of trans-atomic biocircuit structures created by human consciousness and how they could potentially store and release energies according to preexisting neural pathways. Yes, almost every human had an Ehm Field, but it was only manifested metas who could control and project theirs. His young visitor did a remarkable job with the dates and technical names, forgetting about his not-so-smart cover story in an effort to impress his audience.
“I am impressed,” Roberts told him at the end, “I just need your name and I’ll have your file all set up.”
“My name?”
“Yes, if that’s not too much trouble.”
There was a slight pause as Doctor Roberts considered the possibility that his visitor spent weeks practicing his approach, studying UNITY, Ehm Theory, and perhaps even Doctor Roberts and the Denver facility itself, but had never thought about the pseudonym he would use.
“I…uh, it’s just that I’m…” he was faltering badly. Roberts was worried that he’d bolt, not because he was eager to take a malcontent into his charge, but because UNITY training was a massive boon to every meta who received it and every human they interacted with thereafter.
“Take your time,” he put on his best professional voice of patience, “you can use an assumed name if you like. Most metas do.”
“I just don’t like having my name in computers. I don’t want to be shuffled around in some electronic system.” He was rambling now, too busy stalling for time to come up with an answer or a next step.
“Look, you can make something up. No pressure.”
“I’m just…cyber-paranoid.”
“That’s fine.”

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Boxes Precinct, Pt 06

I may have been fully untapped when I came into the precinct the next day, but I didn’t feel like it. The last thing I wanted today was to spend my shift hunting for some rogue scarecrow. I told myself I’d find him misfiled in the Guilded Rows—snicker-snack—and solve a Crazed Goblin assault case or something.

Hung up my hat and coat, and nodded to the desk sergeant. As I proceeded to the stairs, I gave a glance at the precinct’s main dome, smiling at the dim sky beyond the windows at its peak. Past the stairs, I headed for The Marshall’s office, right across the open-air walkway and into The Sanctuary.

Friday, October 07, 2011

The Boxes Precinct, Pt 05

Around me, there were cards spaciously laid out, unlike the tightly-packed rows of The Boxes. I was on a table; I’d been Chosen, but not yet Played. The other cards were similar to me, but just different enough. I’d heard about people having dreams where they’d show up to an important event in hilarious attire, but I’d never understood it. Now, here alongside so many cards—so many of which were strictly better than me—when I didn’t even know what was wanted of me, I understood. The sun shone unwavering above us, not crouching occasionally above the boxes before darting back below the horizon. This was near to the ultimate achievement and the hope it burned within each of us—born when the designs of uncles’ ink were impressed upon our mothers cardboard: being played.

Friday, September 30, 2011

The Boxes Precinct, Pt 04

I left Scarecrow Alley and the Myr followed behind me, abandoning his haphazard arm-waving for an altogether spasmodic arm-waving. It stared up as if expecting the missing Pili-Pala to fly overhead at the mention of their name.

Friday, September 23, 2011

The Boxes Precinct, Pt 03


The interior of the building was an ecology of trash. Blanket trees dropped leaves of tattered quilts while bleached ribcages lay half-revealed in the dirt, like rocks uncovered beneath a mundane footpath. Blades of rusted scythes emerged from the ground like the fronds of a fern, and I recognized them as the toenails of the scarecrow from the alley. At the end of the hallway, the wall was made of up reeds growing up from the ground and down from the ceiling that intertwined into a broken web of a basket that never was.

Friday, September 16, 2011

The Boxes Precinct, Pt 02

It stopped abruptly, the clumsily darted to the right, down an alley. I let it run while I looked on; it was too interested in finding its card to leave me behind.

Alley it had entered was actually a street, but just barely. The usually white corrugated walls were a dull grey here, and wrinkled as if they’d been left in the humidity too long. They bowed over the debris-strewn street, blocking off the natural lighting from overhead. Indirect light, dully emanated from around corners where the street intersected others, leaving the source just out of view. I sighed as the myr returned, pushing up piles of dead sticks and leaves as it did, mists clinging to it as they did everything in the street.

I sighed, “Scarecrows.”

Friday, September 09, 2011

The Boxes Precinct, Pt 01

It was five minutes to quitting time and my mind was split between picking out my hat and coat from the lineup of the coat rack in the precinct’s lobby and deciding just how many times I could tip the Braidwood Cup in the next hour and five minutes. I’d love to tell you that the card that came in looked like Nullmage Shepherd, Evlish Scout or even Koth. I’d love to tell you a story about sultry silhouettes and silky voices just telling me how much help they needed from one of the Boxes Precinct’s detectives and I offered to help because I was generally overcome by stirrings of sexual attraction. That would have been awesome.