Timewalking Archive Trap: Not Helping

Like anyone whose desire to say something is matched only by their desire to waste time saying it on the internet, I've been blogging for a while. Timewalking Archive Trap is presents select treasures (for very liberal definitions of "treasures") from yesteryear for the sole enjoyment of my readers.

So, you've probably heard about the Women in Refrigerators trope. I guess some guy was inspired to write a version for gays. The gay version was interesting because I've never heard of most of these characters and I haven't been able to keep up with the rest (not really too interested in buying a comic just because some of the ensemble are gay, especially since I bought the book with Freedom Ring to see what the fuss was about and it turns out it wasn't very good.).

Comics v Terrorism

As you might have heard, convicted terrorist Tarek Mehanna credits Batman for inspiring him to plot against American forces (and allegedly against American civilians here in the states).

I've made passing reference to the similarity of superhero ethos and terrorism before (something that's hard not to do when talking about Marvel's Civil War). Quite simply, the desire to punch the world until it behaves is common to both superheroes and terrorists.

Both of them tell the world it's not good enough. Both want to use their power to bend it to their will. Both break the law to do what they think is right. 

You could argue the difference is scale. Terrorists seek to affect political change through fear; constructing like-minded governments, removing foreign influences from their territory, suppressing criticism, and/or simply dictating the social structure of the world around them. Superheroes usually punch out the guys that regular governments and law enforcement can't handle.

Comics: Stormwatch, issues #1-6

In 1993, Wildstorm comics launched Stormwatch, a typical 90's blood n' guts/faux military comic book with gritted tooth heroes protagonists. The series was forgettable until Warren Ellis—The Most Awesome Deflier—took over, gutted it, and spent 25 issues bashing America and stroking pet characters until the series was canceled and the non-pet characters killed off in a WildC.A.T.s/Aliens crossover/cashgrab.

It sounds terrible—barely footnoteworthy[1], but it was seminal and those pet characters[2] became plank owners for The Authority.

Also written by Ellis, The Authority was the prototype of big-screen, no-holds-barred, decompressed storytelling. The adolescent, oversexed, ultra-violent comics of the 90's finally evolved into mature, slightly-sexed, ultra-violent comics of the 00's. The Authority's success—and it was successful—was largely due to being well written (first by Ellis, then by Mark Millar) and being something completely different.

Playing Favorites excerpts, pt 50 - The Verdict

Every Most Tuesdays I post excerpts from best selling at not selling super blog, Playing Favorites. 

Spider-Man

Jenny Sparks

The Batman

Blue Beetle (Ted Kord)

Lindy Reynolds (Dark Avengers)

Captain America

Gauntlet

Superman (All-Star Superman)

Elijah Snow

Cable (Cable & Deadpool)

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Penny Reviews: 2011, Part III

I got a lot of comics in 2011, and as people often do at the end of a year, I've taken a moment to reflect on my purchases and share the resulting insights with you, the unwary reader. This is the last day, so if you’re visiting for the first time, I’m afraid you’ll have no idea what’s going on.

Midnighter, Vol 1 & 2 by Garth Ennis

The Midnighter and Garth Ennis do graphic, fun violence. Volume One was The Midnighter versus Hitler and time cops. The concept is so high that when high gets a long weekend, it gets Ennis’ Midnightered for three days straight. On paper, it’s diet pepsi and pop tarts.

The execution was pop tarts and the star Rigel. This analogy doesn’t work because those two things don’t “mix” and don’t make bad comics. Maybe it’s not Ennis’ fault. The Midnighter is admittedly a two-faceted badass character; it’s possible that he needs an ensemble to contrast with, or at least a straight man.

#1 Worst

Playing Favorites excerpts, pt 45

Every Most Tuesdays I post excerpts from best selling at not selling super blog, Playing Favorites.

Since my villains list thus far has consisted of Doctor Doom, Lex Luthor, and Victoria Hand (with a brief aside on Norman Osborn), I think it’s safe to say that this exercise is somewhat self-indulgent. In that vein, I’d like to talk about Chaplain Action, He-Man of the Cloth!

Chaplain Action, He-Manof the Cloth appeared in The Authority arc “Transfer of Power,” where the original team was presumed dead/murdered and a government-sponsored team I refer to as The Republican Authority took their place as the center point of the story. Chaplain Action, He-Man of the Cloth was originally part of a publicity effort to cast the new Authority as devoutly religious (to contrast with the…somewhat hedonistic style of their predecessors). When the cameras turned off however, he continued to (mostly somewhat) bring the team to heel on their moral excesses. Even when success pushed the team itself to the same hedonistic heights (depths? No. Definitely heights.) as the original, it was him who provided the bulk of the leadership and integrity. While his main focus was on bringing The Colonel (the racist, sexist electricity-manipulating jerk who was team leader) in line--with violence of course--he also managed to focus on the best parts of the team and attempted to bring them to the surface.

Playing Favorites excerpts, pt 26

Every Tuesday I post excerpts from best selling at not selling super blog, Playing Favorites.  

I’d go so far to say that this myopic morality is the cornerstone of the superhero genre. There are subversions and twists on it, but most heroes will stop purse snatchers, mad scientists, and alien invasions, but never bother to stop concentration camps, torture facilities, or systemic exploitation by governments. I didn’t list terrorism, espionage, nuclear weapons, stonings (the bad, Biblical kind), executions of political dissidents, nationalization of private industries, voter  disenfranchisement, government censorship of the internet, government censorship of television, schools that teach hate and ignorance, pretty much any gay man giving directions ever, or poorly-defined zoning and drainage ordinances codes which allow builders to construct houses in areas of poor natural water flow that are either flood prone or will actually be covered in water in ten years. 

Playing Favorites excerpts, pt 19

Every Tuesday I post excerpts from best selling at not selling super blog, Playing Favorites.

The Midnighter(Warren Ellis/Mark Millar)
Jenny Sparks(Warren Eillis/Mark Millar)
The Batman
Booster Gold (Geoff Johns)
Damian Wayne (Grant Morrison)
Steve Rogers(Ultimates Vol 1 & 2)
Cloud 9 (Dan Slott)
Superman(All-Star Superman)
Rorschach
Deadpool (Cable & Deadpool)

I guess that's it. It's strange that it’s these guys. There are a lot of other characters out there that are great and have some really good books, but fundamentally, these are the characters I like reading about. They're a motley crew--well, less motley than my original list. One homosexual, two females, two non-Americans (if Damian counts, even though I'm sure he would be an American citizen if Bruce Wayne is on his birth certificate), an alien, a time-traveler, six different tax brackets and two effective amnesiacs, but it is a whole loaf of white bread. Guess I can blame the comics industry for that. Sounds convenient.

That said, with the exception of All-Star Superman and Rorschach, most of these characters have a compatible feel to them that would let them interact in some way. I mean, you'd have the killing versus no killing sides, which would be Batman versus...well everyone but Booster Gold, I guess.

Though I would read the hell out of a Batman/Booster Gold team-up versus a Jenny Sparks lead Authority consisting of Midnighter, Deadpool, Cloud 9, Ultimate Cap, and Damian Wayne.

Playing Favorites excerpts, pt 18

Every Tuesday, I post excerpts from my best-selling at not-selling super blog, Playing Favorites

Huh. Cloud 9 and All-Star Superman both have some good moments. All-Star Superman's Crowning Moment of Awesome was definitely punching out Lex, because...c'mon, that was great, but Cloud 9 didn't have any particular moment of cool. She had a moment where you saw most of her early arc end. Whenever she's saving a kid who's as psyched by flying as she was when we met her. The kid's mom tells him to quit being a spaz; Cloud 9 flies all the time because it's her job. Cloud 9 doesn't respond at all; she's completely impassive about the entire encounter, focused on saving the family from their apartment fire. The reader sees that the enthusiasm for her abilities is completely external. It's a great moment, and it defines her character.

Playing Favorites excerpts, pt 17

Every Tuesday, I post excerpts from my best-selling at not-selling super blog, Playing Favorites
 

Alright, I think it's easier for me to break down the characters I like into four distinct groups:

Characters in a Great Story: So, maybe I like these guys more for the story they're in. All-Star Superman, Cloud 9, Adrian Veidt, Rorschach, Cable(Cable & Deadpool)

Like them Because They are Jerks: It is a shitty reason, though I worked really hard to come up with that 'righteous violence' thing, which I stand by, but it is just a fancy way of saying “I like a character because they are a jerk and I'm just going to go ahead and act like it's actually a call-out to the fundamental nature of the medium.” Midnighter, Ultimate Captain America, Damian Wayne.

Playing Favorites excerpts, pt 06

Every Tuesday, I post excerpts from my best-selling at not-selling super blog, Playing Favorites.

Also, I just kicked Lois off, but I’m keeping Jenny Sparks. Even though Jenny Sparks never wore a costume and never wore a mask. In fact, I think that Midnighter was the only member of The Authority who ever wore a mask (unless you count The Doctor’s goggles). Each other member had a ‘uniform,’ such as it was. Midnighter and Apollo had their old Stormwatch duds, The Doctor had that eye-searing vest and khakis thing going on, Swift had the green pants plus…whatever that shirt was, Jack did bare feet with dress casual, and Jenny Sparks had The Union Jack on whatever shirt she wore. Not traditional costumes, certainly. Semantics about active wear aside, while Lois isn’t intuitively a super-hero, defining super-heroes demands more than intuition. Lois isn’t a full-time hero. Not that The Authority or Booster Gold are. The Authority only seems to work a few days out of the year, y’know, whenever there’s an apocalyptic threat. Booster Gold is a reservist at best, showing up (some might say ‘shining up’) whenever the big three are out of the picture or the timeline needs patching. I think, ultimately, she isn’t defined by her costume (when she wears one, which was mostly The Silver Age and ‘All-Star Superman,’ which is basically The Silver Age, if The Silver Age managed to be reborn in the Modern Age and thusly grew up making a lick of fucking sense). When Lois isn’t Superwoman or anyone else; she’s on this list because she can kick ass and fight crime when she has to. She doesn’t go looking for trouble to stop it. She’s a reporter and neutral by default. Everyone else on this list, from Cloud 9 to Batman will readily engage the forces of chaos and crime when they run into them. Cloud 9 might not be as enthusiastic or self-motivated about it as others—we get very few glimpses into her mindset after she becomes Cloud 9—but she will engage criminals. It’s this desire to aggressively stop these kinds of threats that separates Lois (even Badass, Marriage-Era Lois) from Jenny Sparks.

The Midnighter and Ultimate Cap make the list because they are both awesome. These guys don’t have complicated character arcs: Midnighter hurts people who (mostly) deserve it when we meet him, and he was still hurting people who (kinda) deserved it when we last saw him (I’m assuming he’s dead because they’re shuttering Wildstorm and I’m quite certain that The Midnighter was we know and love him won’t be surfacing in the DC Universe at large any time soon). Ultimate Captain America will beat the shit out of anyone who crosses him, which, incidentally, involves crossing America. He’s a good soldier who will mostly follow orders about not breaking your jaw, unless you beat your wife. Then it’s on like Donkey Kong (no, seriously. Check out that fight. Girders. Barrels. One tiny guy versus one big guy. Ultimate Captain America versus Ultimate Giant Man is like Donkey Kong, if Mario could cut sweet backflips.). Or if you imply he should surrender. Or you try to take over his country. Hell, let’s just say that you better watch what you say around Captain America, because he’s got a list of pet peeves he feels very strongly about and you’ll probably break one if you know him long enough. If you do, curl up into a ball and protect your softest parts; your hard parts are already forfeit.

Playing Favorites Excerpts, pt 05

Every Tuesday, I post excerpts from my best-selling at not-selling super blog, Playing Favorites.

That said, sometimes all a story has is a good character. Detective Comics’ run as de facto “Batwoman” for the past few months (years?) is a prime example of that. Katy Kane is driven to contribute; to be something more. She refuses to compromise her integrity when trying to do just that as a military academy cadet, and when she can’t reconcile being forbidden to do what’s right by doing the right thing, she starts running down a path of self-destruction. It’s only when she sees Batman and realizes that she can be right and can contribute on her own terms that she finds her purpose again. She plays the wealthy dilettante just like Bruce Wayne, but seems to enjoy it more, even—perhaps especially—when she’s biting the proverbial hand that feeds. Her stepmother, Catherine, unknowingly foots the bill for Katy’s superheroics and doesn’t approve of Katy showing her homosexuality in public, but it’s unclear whether she’s doing this because she refuses to compromise who she is or because she like irking Catherine. I like the dynamic of two morally imperfect characters who likely have more in common than they care to admit because they each have issues they can’t get past (Katy’s mother’s murder doesn’t leave her with much room for a new mom, and Catherine doesn’t feel comfortable with her stepdaughter embarrassing her in front of her high-society friends).

Excerpt from that thing I'll send you

"The Midnighter and Ultimate Cap make the list because they are both awesome. These guys don’t have complicated character arcs. Midnighter hurts people who (mostly) deserve it when we meet him, and he was still hurting people who (kinda) deserved it when we last saw him (I’m assuming he’s dead because they’re shuttering Wildstorm and I’m quite certain that The Midnighter was we know and love him won’t be surfacing in the DC Universe at large any time soon). Also, he has a boyfriend named Apollo and they’re pretty close. Ultimate Captain America will beat the shit out of anyone who crosses him, which, incidentally, involves crossing America. He’s a good soldier who will mostly follow orders about not breaking your jaw, unless you beat your wife. Then it’s on like Donkey Kong (no, seriously. Check out that fight. Girders. Barrels. One tiny guy versus one big guy. Ultimate Captain America versus Ultimate Giant Man is like Donkey Kong, if Mario could cut sweet backflips.). Or if you imply he should surrender. Or you try to take over his country. Hell, let’s just say that you better watch what you say around Captain America, because he’s got a list of pet peeves he feels very strongly about and you’ll probably break one if you know him long enough. If you do, curl up into a ball and protect your softest parts; your hard parts are already forfeit.

I’m willing to bet that unchecked and largely unprovoked violence are not at the top of the list of things you thought I might consider superheroic. In and of themselves, they aren’t. Don’t get me wrong, and excuse me if I go off on a tangent here about superheroics and violence. They are very closely linked. At their most basic level, superheroics are morality stories that don’t wait around for kharma or natural consequence to fuck up people who do not act correctly. Note, these aren’t necessarily evildoers. The super-protagonist of a story can punch anyone he damn well pleases for violating social norms, idealistic rules of behavior, arbitrary laws, etc.. It isn’t about good versus evil, well, it is, but only in a very subjective moral sense. Superheroic comics are on many ways based on the vicarious joy of watching someone deliver harsh and righteous retribution to those to transgress. Now, I don’t need my comics to be violent, but I need more than inconsistent paneling and inconclusive punches and grunts to make my comic fights work. Both Midnighter and Ultimate Cap tell you clearly what’s happening in a fight and what the score is. When they beat a guy; you know that he’s either in resurrection territory for causing a further threat, or if we just learned he’s that much more of a threat now.

What’s strange is that the two of these guys have similar methodologies, but it’s the execution that sets them apart. Midnighter will rip a guy’s spine out when he uppercuts him. He’ll strangle a guy so you can watch his eyes bulge. He’ll hit a guy fast enough that you don’t see the panel where he makes impact. How Midnighter’s violence is implemented and what violence he implements are creative and different. When the monsters that Midnighter kills are killed, you’re satisfied and entertained. The best part of his character is that he’s a weapon who just fucks things up, but tends to be off his kilter when killing stuff won’t fix stuff. Better, it’s something that’s exploited rarely, averting Badass Decay. The Midnighter is surprising and fun with an attitude that frames that violence to make it fun (make no mistake, the fella shit-talks, but isn’t that witty).

Ultimate Captain America, however, is all about the righteousness. Ultimate Cap will think and use tactics like The Midnighter, but he’s not just a killer. He’s got a more varied response to threats, largely coming from the fact that he’s usually the aggressor, and uses the force necessary to accomplish his mission. He’s not a killer; he’s a soldier, and the distinction is separate. Outside of a mission or some other superheroic goings-on, he’s gentle, polite and even hangs out with people his own age (that is to say, old people). Ultimate Captain America combines the two things I like most about comics: violence and character. That Ultimate Cap’s violence is occasionally believably real, misapplied violence (like when he kicks Banner after their first fight with The Hulk). He’s just angry so he hits stuff. It subverts (however unintentionally) the trend of righteous violence by just having Cap hit something because he doesn’t like it that much. Is Mark Millar that smart? I like to think he is. Seventy-five percent of the time he in a fight, Cap is someone you want to will totally root for, but the other thirty percent he is just being a jerk. He subverts righteous violence of the superhero genre by being an asshole, but he’s also just a guy who’s lost in time and trying to find his footing as a person with their own life. That these things are balanced so well in who he is makes him a fun read.

I guess it could also be a cheat, in that his general compassion and no-questions-asked action mean that he could conceivably do anything the plot requires, but I’ve never really felt (again, speaking strictly about Volumes 1 & 2 of The Ultimates), that he was ever really forced out of character to do something for the plot."