Movie Trailers for August

The story is that I wanted to watch a movie in August, but when it came down to it, it was either spend 3 hours watching The Odyssey or watching Spider-Man, and neither one of those propositions appealed to me.

I usually do just ten of these, plus some honorable mentions for TV series. This month is gonna be different because...there are some patterns. I'll group movies with similar elements with a title.

Our House. In the Middle of Our--OH GOD WHAT IS THAT!? 

The Last House (August 7th)

The End of Oak Street (August 14th)

 

I listed The Last House first because it just looks better and it reminds me less of the 1997 The Outer Limits episode, "Feasibility Study."

It also looks a little more horror than action, with a mystery that slowly unravels. As opposed to The End of Oak Street, which concedes we're on an alien planet with murder dinosaurs and I guess you're just fucked.

 

Movie Trailers for August 2025

Harvest - August 1st

Okay, it's being released on Mubi--which sounds like the name you'd make up to ridicule the proliferate, third-rate streaming services which aren't Paramount+--but is real. And it looks faaascinating.

And it's on a third-rate streaming service that isn't Paramount+. 

 

Movie Trailers for April 2025

Maybe it's because I'm making this two-thirds of the way through April instead of in March like I was supposed to, but there are so many interesting trailers this month. Enough to do a bit of a theme.

A Nice Indian Boy (April 4th)

Cute and interesting lil' gay movie. Gotta learn Karan Soni's name now. He's gotta be more than, "Dopinder" in Deadpool now. 

Really? "Dopinder"?

Whoof. That franchise really charmed it's way across some lines.

 

Movie Trailers for March 2025

I'm writing this one halfway through April, so it's gonna be quick and messy.

A Working Man

What happens when you feed Taken, $500,000, a batman villain, and the word "Jason Statham script" into an AI?

What I've Done

So, clearly, I love movies. I also love cheezy, broad music. It's what I am.

So what about the meme where folks set the ending scene/credits of a movie to Linkin Park's What I've Done? 

That is what we're doing today.

#10 

Honestly, the ending of Revenge of the Sith does not go hard enough. Yes, you have to hand it to George Lucas. Yes, the prequel trilogy was prescient, raising the twin specters of modern fascism and the sequel trilogy becoming relevant. 

That doesn't entitle it to What I've Done.

Movie Trailers for February 2025

It looks like, in skipping January, I only missed The Brutalist and Companion. No biggie. :|

Here's February.

Heart Eyes (February 7th)

Thank gods. Finally, a horror movie trailer set to a slow cover of a classic love song. 

Stab me first, please.

Movie Trailers for December 2024

Mufasa: The Lion King (December 20th)

On the origins of monarchy. Do we need a prequel for everything? All that's important is that there was a monarch and then he was killed and we root for his son. 

And it's not Hamlet. Hamlet was very much about the moral repercussions of killing. Hamlet was in Claudius' court. Claudius didn't trick Hamlet into running away for the entirety of his youth. The plot of Hamlet was not 'Hamlet kills bad king and bangs Ophelia,' it's 'Hamlet isn't certain that his uncle/stepfather killed his father and his indecision dooms everyone.'

They do have one thing in common though: You don't need a prequel to tell the story of King Hamlet.

Movie Trailers for November 2024

Heretic (November 8th)

I hate an evil atheist, but we're due, I guess. I'm also living for this Hugh Grant turn into horror. I mean, despite all the stereotypes from the 90's, he's not a bad actor. Can a full-length movie live up to this trailer? I'm willing to find out. 

Movie Trailers for October 2024

Joker: Folie a Deux (October 4th)

I didn't even watch the first one, but making the second on a musical is a masterstroke, and not just because I really liked that episode of Scrubs.

So what if Harley Quinn is not an olympic-class gymnast and corrupted psychologist? The whole premise of this...series, I guess, is doing what DC does best: larger than life characters in 100 different versions of themselves in stories that get the fundamentals right. 

Canon is for cucks. (Can I say that without being a choad?)

Azrael (September 27th)

Please be a Batman movie, please be a Batman movie, please--

Fuck!

Movie Trailers for September 2024

Alien: Romulus

Sure. Why not?

Lee (September 27th)

Is it based on a true--ANDY SAMBERG?!

Movie Trailers for August 2024

Harold and The Purple Crayon (August 2nd)

 

Maybe I don't get to shit on a movie that's laser-focused on being for kids.

But I really liked those books as a kid, so "I don't want to live on this planet anymore."

Trap (August 9th)

Hey look: it's another film by M. Night--DON'T WATCH IT.
 

"What are you gonna do, shoot me?" -Man shot

 

Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang is great.

Movie Trailers for August

So what's a few months between movie trailer looks?

JULY

Barbie - Senator Ted Cruz believes that Barbie is communist propaganda, so...movie of the year.

Oppenheimer - Cilian Murphy is still killing it as J. Robert Oppenheimer in a Christopher Nolan film. I haven't seen it. 

Barbieheimer - I believe in Barbieheimer.

Mission Impossible 5(?) of 6(?) - I hope this pays for 1--no, 2--high concept science fiction films that no one but Tom Cruise would make.

Nostalgia

S'months, S'movies: October 2022

September

I really missed some stuff last time. Spirit Halloween: The Movie? Jeepers Creepers: Reborn? The Infernal Machine? The delicious irony of a special event showing of a film called "Superspreader"?

Maybe that stuff wasn't announced a week before the month they came out. That Reboot (2022) Trailer finally came out.

I haven't watched any of the movies I noted were coming out this month (some still haven't come out). The only one that's made a cultural splash has been Don't Worry, Darling and that was only because of something about Harry Styles and spitting. 

I do not wish to know, but here's an interview where he describes it as being a movie while press junket veteran Chris Pine lets him twist in the wind. https://youtu.be/67haessFQ44?t=344

(And yes, it only takes a little bit of listening to understand what he's actually trying to say here)

Also, The Woman King has gotten passed around the social media sphere because it has black people in it and women in it, so it's gonna get that kind of attention at the very least.

Related: I just found this trailer, which was a fun little surprise: https://youtu.be/zUqIv5PvbGk

Thanks as always to The Numbers.com and Rotten Tomatoes for comprehensive lists of upcoming media.

October

This is my third month doing this, so I'll also be looking back at the first round of movies to see if any predictions I made about them came true.

September's Trailers

It was a stretch to find 10 trailers this month. I guess September is really about the television (I've got TV stuff at the bottom).

Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. (September 2nd)

I like that we don't even know what scandal it is they're recovering from, but from Sterling K. Brown's character, it could be anything. It looks like he does a high energy, barely-on-the-leash character who nonetheless knows how to use that. 

He's carrying all the protagonist weight, so Regina Hall gets to do character stuff in his world. I know almost nothing about the story but I'm intrigued. Watch it while doing dishes and get pulled in out of ten. 

The Killing Joke - Your Franchise is Pandering Wrong

So the news is that the Alan Moore classic Batman story, The Killing Joke direct-to-video animated feature is cleared to be rated "R".

About a month ago, I volunteered to help out Star Trek: Renegades at the local ComicCon. I was looking to interact with Star Trek fans and talk a bit about 17 to 01. I was giving them free labor; don't judge.

Also, Renegades is kinda bad, so if you're going to judge, judge me for that.

Houma Movie Club: Phase 13

So Horns, Burke & Hare, and The Grey were all pretty good. There wasn't enough wolf punching in any of them, to be honest so now we're going with a few classic, pre-X-Men, pre-Blade superhero movies. No videos because I forgot to write this up last night and I'm posting it from work. I'll add 'em later.

Tank Girl (1995, 104 min)

I am eager to see this movie. I read the Comics Alliance review of it a while back and that only piqued my interest. Our modern world is so full of gritty, post-apocalyptic media that it makes you unironically wish for a grit-based apocalypse (probably one precipitated by the words, "Winnie the Pooh, but it's all an LSD trip by Christopher Robin!").

Tank Girl looks like the vibrant, dumb, smiling, fun post-apocalypse I can only get from Killjoys, and that's setting the bar high for a movie that I'm pretty sure has never even been aware of the bar, much less cleared one.

Robocop (1987, 102 min)

Old Detroit has a cancer. The cancer is crime.

The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005, 99 minutes)

Okay, so technically, this thing came out after Blade (1998) and X-Men (2000), but The Crow was released in 1994 and the sequel was released in 1996. I think it counts.

Technicalities aside, this thing is the fourth Crow movie. It stars Eddie Furlong. It stars Tara fucking Reid. It has post-Buffy, pre-Bones David Boreanaz (the worst Boreanaz). It has Dennis Hopper schlepping it. The director's only other non-documentary directing credit is a movie I've never heard of called Six-String Samurai. It has Danny Trejo in it so we can't not watch it.

What I'm saying is that The Crow: Wicked Prayer is a bad movie and watching it will make you feel bad. We usually keep who choose what and who voted for what pretty secret, but I'm really proud of this evil I'm about to unleash on the world. I'm not even sorry.

Houma Movie Club, Phase 6

So Phase 6 is upon us. We've decided to do a Robin Williams theme. Given the sparse selection available on Netflix and Hulu, we've waived the originality requirement. Richard has indefinitely bowed out, so we're down to four participants and four movies.

Remember, everyone gets two votes, whether you're in the club or not. Poll closes Monday, so vote quickly.

The Fisher King (1991, 137 minutes)

Robin Williams supported homeless causes. In one of those things you see going around the internet, there was a rider in his contract stipulating that when he was hired for events, a certain percentage of the staff had to be homeless folks. 

It's not surprising that he opted to positively portray homeless folks in The Fisher King. I always thought it was something like Good Will Hunting, so now that I know it's an uplifting comedy, I'm excited to watch it.

Hook (1991, 147 minutes)

I saw this as a kid, but I'm looking forward to it because allegedly Bob Hoskins and Dustin Hoffman played Smee and Hook as gay. It apparently made Steven Spielberg livid, so I'm looking forward to it.

The Survivors (1983, 107 minutes)

My dad's mom had a lot of movies on VHS: Support Your Local Sheriff, Blazing Saddles, Smokey and The Bandit, and a few others. I never really got around to watching them until after she died, but The Survivors was one of them and it's surprisingly good.

The Birdcage (1996, 117 minutes)

I love Nathan Lane in The Producers. Watching him don high heels and savagely kick the line between homosexual and transsexual makes me anticipate puking. I've never seen The Birdcage all the way through but I hope Robin Williams, Hank Azaria, Gene Hackman, and Ally McBeal can mitigate the worst of the damage.

Tom Cruise: Career on the Edge of Tomorrow

So Edge of Tomorrow came out last week and I'd recommend seeing it. I probably won't get the chance, but you should.

In case you didn't know, Edge of Tomorrow is Groundhogs Day meets Starship Troopers. Groundhogs Day is one of the best movies made by a human and Starship Troopers is a campy, Verhoevensque action romp that's indisputably fun.

Those unquestionable facts aren't a hard sell on Edge of Tomorrow though. Tom Cruise is. Most people think of him Maverick. Fair enough. His dramatic roles from '86 to '96 are his most iconic. A glance back at the last fifteen years shows a different trend though: Tom Cruise is one of the most essential science fiction actor of our time.