Movie Trailers for December 2024

Mufasa: The Lion King (December 20th)

On the origins of monarchy. Do we need a prequel for everything? All that's important is that there was a monarch and then he was killed and we root for his son. 

And it's not Hamlet. Hamlet was very much about the moral repercussions of killing. Hamlet was in Claudius' court. Claudius didn't trick Hamlet into running away for the entirety of his youth. The plot of Hamlet was not 'Hamlet kills bad king and bangs Ophelia,' it's 'Hamlet isn't certain that his uncle/stepfather killed his father and his indecision dooms everyone.'

They do have one thing in common though: You don't need a prequel to tell the story of King Hamlet.

The Room Next Door (December 20th)

It's artsy-fartsy as fuck, which you probably should have known because Julianne Moore is in this. Seems like a straightforward friend-ship-at-end-of-life drama.

It's interesting that the death of one person can be the collapse of a world, and that there's something beautiful to learn there.

Homestead (December 20th)

OTOH, a whole world can die and we can learn nothing. Homestead looks like an incredibly unimaginative movie. Apocalyptic and regressive as it is lazy and blunt.

But Babygirl tricked me into watching a fake trailer made by a fake trailer youtube channel because I couldn't imagine an A24 movie coming out in two months wouldn't have a trailer and I'm not doing the Lord of the Rings anime or the Bob Dylan biopic, so you and me are lying in the cold, stiffening wet patch of this christofascist prepper's wet dream.

(unless Donald Trump won the election, in that case all hail Angel Studio's blessed art)

Kraven the Hunter (December 13th)

This is clearly Morbius II in spirit, but at this point, as long as he keeps his shirt off, second-rate Quicksilver can stay.

Get Away (December 6th)

I like a Nick Frost joint, and I missed Krazy House from earlier this year, so...yeah.

Sonic the Hedgehog (December 20th)

Sure. Okay. More of it. Why would we stop now?

I'm just fascinated to learn that Knuckles and Shadow are different characters. I paid little enough attention to Sonic I thought they were the same guy.

Nosferatu (December 25th)

I know I've complained about remakes and 20-year later sequels and regular sequels this year, but this is too much!

But honestly, remaking films every 100 years or so seems fine.

Y2K (December 6th)

If you're going to do a campy horror movie version of Y2K, framing it around a high school teen party with all of the gratuitous callbacks to the 90's--which high school teen parties are--is a good decision. 

Chumbawamba and Kyle Mooney are just icing on the cake in this month's preferable apocalypse movie.

Nightbitch (December 6th)

I missed Booger earlier this year, so here's a different woman/animal thing. Not my cup of tea at all.

Compels me though.

The Return (December 6th)

Odysseus returns to Ithaca. It's a family film.

Honestly, if Charlie Plummer is Telemachus, I'm in. No questions asked.