Louie Gohmert: The 5 Most Impish but Professional Adventures of the Representative from Texas' First District Part 2

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Fighting for Rational, Mature Discourse on Capitol Hill
Whenever Michele Bachmann took aim at Hilary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, Gohmert hopped on board and demonstrated that rational, mature discourse on Capitol Hill is not dead. In a series of letters to the Department of Defense, the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Justice, and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, and the State Department, Bachmann, Gohmert, and three others linked Abedin to a conspiracy that placed Islamic Brotherhood sleeper agents in the highest levels of government with the goal to enact Shiara law across The United States.

It might be true that those letters were based on evidence gathered by Frank Gaffney, a man who has seen Islamic conspiracies including conservatives like John Bolton (the US Ambassador to the UN under George W. Bush and FOX News regular) and Grover Norquist (who opposes all taxes forever). Even though many of Gaffney's claims had already been investigated and dismissed by the FBI as baseless, and even though he's been condemned by the American Conservative Union for his assertions, Gohmert has stood by him in an act of integrity and commitment that surpassed common rational thought. 

Now, spamming the national security apparatus doesn't smack of "rational discourse," but the response to the letters accused Gohmert and others of McCarthyism. Even conservatives, like Senator John McCain of Arizona came out against him.

Louie Gohmert: The 5 Most Impish but Professional Adventures of the Representative from Texas' First District

So Louie Gohmert has been making some headlines lately because he's been cheekily photobombing other people around Capitol Hill. The representative from Texas' first district is such a fun, whimsical character.

As it just so happens, he's from the district my grandparents vote in. I know Louie Gohmert. I've seen his fliers. Some cynical, stuffed-shirt politicians might claim that these kinds of childish behaviors are not fit for a member of the US House of Representatives. 

I differ. Not only with the assumption that there is any standard of behavior for members of The House, but that these behaviors are in any way unbecoming or inconsistent with representing the United States of America as a professional lawmaker.

So here are five other completely professional, if whimsical, actions of Representative Louie Gohmert.

Field Manual Kris: A Certain State to the West: The Trip East

So Josh and I exchanged Minecraft worlds and eve mad ea server on his PC to we couldn't work together to make a common (badass) world. Despite his earlier bad experiences with multiplayer servers, we hatched some grandiose schemes involving his ridiculous, massive building style and my sprawling and--let's call it "rustic"-- construction proclivities.

"Rustic" is a synonym for "haphazard," right?

Field Manual Kris: A Certain State to the West

I spent a week in Texas. Since I'm not working now, I'll be moving out of my apartment and over there with Terry and Katie when either my lease is up or my roommate finds a new sucker to take my place. This trip was definitely a dry run for that. I mean, once I live here, everyone's going to need more space than we usually get for a week-long visit, but that's an issue for March.

I also introduced Terry and Katie to Zombies!. Terry suggested that we begin playing Pandemic and only only get around to Zombies! if we lost the game. I tried to explain that the length of Zombies! precluded mixing it with anything else, but when it comes to zombies, the only substitute for experience is experience. Eventually (all Zombies! games finish in the time frame of "eventually"), because I had a lot of nothing to do the next day and didn't want to miss any of it, I helped Katie to the helicopter so we could all get some sleep.

Timewalking Archive Trap: Texas

I was born in Texas. As much as I am anything else, I am a Texan. I do consider myself a Southerner. I've lived in Texas, Louisiana, Georgia, and South Carolina. My earliest memories were from Louisiana ('87-'90) before my parents divorced. The small town bisected by highway 90 and my first days in school. Things were good in Louisiana. I was a pretty happy kid there. I knew the crew, things went wrong sometimes of course, but there I managed to belong somehow.

Texas ('90 to '95) was one of the many, multiple current shifts in my life. I was an outside for the first time...not to see 'insider' again for some time. If it weren't for being the poor, geek kid, with glasses, and poorly developed social skills with the single mother family...if it weren't for that, I certainly wouldn't be the guy I am today. I wasted a lot of time trying to turn that around as a kid, and spent a lot of energy trying to get past it.

Field Manual Kris: Blogging Updates

The stats are in for March, and let me tell you; the characters in The Prisoner have higher numbers.

The big winners for me, historically have been Linkstorms, offbeat humor, and that strange combination of both: Stormcrows.

I've got some Bladerunner stuff in the pipe, additional scripts from Denver 5, a Lucio Pavlec story, and about two Sunday Morning Soapboxes that need to get done. So, expect more things like those things in the near future.

Also, someone made mention of wearing polyester on deck. Mentioned my jacket and apparently it's not a great idea. I'll be getting with some guys on just what kind of jacket I need to wear, but it looks like I'll have to be doing some rebranding, so I've been looking at jackets.

While it's certainly not going to ever be an offshore jacket, this little baby is pretty amazing. It's terrible, but it's so...awesomely terrible. I don't think it's $135 awesome, but it's tempting none the less.

Speaking of vast sums of money, with the end of my Magic buying hiatus in sight, I'm thinking of preordering the next set (New Phyrexia *fake gasp*) here in the new future and/or making good on that promise to buy DS9 on DVD (I looked into the gold-plated Blu-Rays and it turns out that was something I just made up).

We'll see what happens when I get in...around May 5th now. I'll probably spend some time with family and working a few of my projects out before going back offshore around the 19th. I'll be out for a month, and be back in June. Here's the big part: I may be able to go to a certain State to the West around that time.

The Past Few Days

Since I know only two people read this and I was hanging with one of you since my last blog, and I'm talking to Jordan on IM now, so there's no point in this sentence even OH GOD! WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!

My Texas trip was fun, even if it was short and I couldn't visit Texas Josh or my grandparents on the way back. I got to flirt on my drive back home, which was new and terrible, but hey, it's something.

My current job, which is paying me to work 150% more weeks than my last job, at 20% of the hours, at 90% of the pay (which is around 27% of what I used to make) called me up to get back to work. My old job is offering me 100% of the weeks I used to work, 100% of the hours, and 100% of the pay in about a month. I should be getting a confirmation call tomorrow or Monday. Kinda feel bad about ditching the guys who took me in whenever I the old crew kicked me to the curb, but consider that one hitch at the old place is worth four months at the new place and you'd have to be nuts to judge me.

Nuts and rich enough to command an audience with me. XP

I had some crazy dreams one night that I'm going to put up tomorrow. Sleep paralysis; wiki it.

My relief is immobilized with back pain and there's no backup clerk so I'm up until he gets better (or I leave. Whichever happens first.). My office couldn't decide whether they wanted me to stay for one more night, three more nights, or no more nights to avoid paying out overtime. That means two things, I'm back home for anywhere from 0 to 3 days.

Home smells more like cat poop each time and I swear my roommate's bitching increases in volume to match.