Trevor Moore: The Pope Rap

Battlemech Generations, Pt II

So last time I went on about similar 'mech designs being separated by quirks. Specifically, I kicked around a system wherein 'mechs which have been in production for 500 years will be generally better than a 'mech that was produced 500 years ago and not since.

Fucking Hammerhands.

The system is that new 'mechs can be based on existing designs or completely original, they can simply add to that template or radically revise it. 'mechs based on existing designs have known intractable flaws, but are of generally higher quality. 'mechs which are completely original have more negative quirks, but produce a new intractable flaw.

I'm using the idea of a Quirk Maximum here. In the rules quirks are either positive or negative. Each quirk has a point value associated with it. If you're keeping a 'balanced' 'mech, the value of that 'mech's positive quirks will be equal to the value of its negative quirks.

If you're a fan of My Hero Academia, I can only apologize for the rampant use of the word "quirk" you're about to read.

Instead of that, I'm treating the values of all negative quirks as, y'know, negative numbers. Add all your quirk values together and you'll get a total. To get them to a base balance recommended in Strategic Operations, the sum will be 0. We will use a Quirk Maximum to represent the maximum value of all quirks--usually negative--that a new design can have. The sum of the values of all of that 'mech's quirks must be that number or lower.

I checked the rules, but couldn't find it so for the sake of simplicity, this system will limit quirks to a maximum of 6 total quirks, positive or negative.

Design Types for New 'Mechs

Variant - A variant is a modified version of an existing 'mech. Like a -K2 Catapult or the -R60L Urbanmech. It inherits the quirks (including the intractible quirk) and quirk maximum of its parent designs and usually makes minor changes. 

"Minor changes" covers a lot when you at things like, well, the -K2 Cataputl. But let's not get into that. You're changing your design and don't mind if it's got all the flaws of the current production model.

Overhaul - Originally termed a 'next gen' design, it's a refinement of the original concept after serious revision and testing. This can be the line model BJ-1 Blackjack when compared to the original BJ-1X Blackjack or the omnimech Blackjack which carries 5 tons over it's parent BJ-1.

Overhauls will maintain the Intractable Flaw of their parent unit, but will increase their quirk maximum by +1 (to a maximum of +3).

Conventional - A conventional design is a new design not specifically based on any existing model, but using conventional design practices. It uses standard components; actuators, engines, sensors, etc. that many battlmechs share and which makes the Non-Standard Parts quirk a quirk. Most new designs are this.

Conventional designs will choose an Intractable Flaw quirk, begin with a separate, -1 point New Design negative quirk, and have a quirk maximum of -2.

Radical - A radical design may be mostly build from conventional parts, but posesses at its core a vasty different and untested system. This might be fluff, or it might be a custom or experimental equipment (or perk!). 

The Coyotl and the original Raven could be considered Radical designs. They could also be considered an Overhaul or a Conventional design, respectively. 

Radical designs will choose an Intractable Flaw quirk, begin with a separate, -2 point New Design negative quirk, and have a quirk maximum of -3.

Prototype - Every 'mech goes through a prototype phase. If it didn't it, IS the prototype. Prototyping requires a lot of testing and changes so you don't really need to make a prototype, but we're all doing this for fun so do what you want. Prototypes have the Prototype quirk and a -2 quirk maximum and are required to have the design's intractable flaw.

What is a Variant?

Trevor Moore: I'm Not Good at This Adult Shit"

Radical Jump Jets

Jump jets are crazy. I get that they throw 100 tons of battlemech 30 meters by plugging 2 tons of pressure chamber and controls into a fusion engine. 2 tons is a lot. Fusion engines are stronk. 

I also resent the slightly uneven specs of them. I don't expect a thrust:weight formula. But I feel like there's room for a 1.5 ton jump jet.

Anyway, here's the pitch:

Radical Jump Jets

An integrated system which uses turbines in addition to superheated air to thrust battlemechs efficiently across a battlefield.

BattleMech Generations

Fucking Hammerhands.

So during Battletech's Jihad, the Word of Blake was everywhere with fancy, experimental tech. They bombed shit and disrupted supply lines and fucked with interstellar communications and shit was fucky. I still don't think we have a clear, consolidated sourcebook for the whole fiasco. The Jihad-era sourcebooks are all filled with in-character snippets of intelligence reports, news articles, and rumors. You didn't really know what was happening. Not even when it was all over.

In the midst of this, Catalyst Game Labs needed to sell a TRO. TROs move units. I used some just this past weekend to hook some folks into the game. They have bite-sized lore, compelling stats, and pictures that are cool to look at. I have my issues with TROs, but they're great. 

So in the chaos of the Jihad, folks were short in logistical supplies and made whatever military gear they could to thwart the WoB. Fair enough.

Here's what I do not fucking get. Someone made the Hammerhands. They didn't create it. The Hammerhands was created over 500 years before the Jihad. It was one of the Federated Suns' first 'mechs. It was eclipsed by the Warhammer, and people kept making Warhammers for FIVE CENTURIES.

Look guys, I don't love the Warhammer. I think it's subpar and undersinked. It's not terrible, but it's no Thug. But they should make more Warhammers. If they don't have the PPCs for a Warhammer, they should make a Warhammer with autocannons. They made the -8M, which carries a gauss rifle. They've stretched the definition of 'mechs defined by their weirdness--the 4/6 Charger, the PPC Catapult, the LRM Hunchback--so it makes little sense that they wouldn't just make a ballistic Warhammer.

Why would you make a factory--a rare and critical piece of infrastructure in BattleTech--that produces a Hammerhands? An ancient relic that's not designed for a modern world, which hasn't been produced in half-a-millennia, and which no pilot is familiar with? Why would you not create a tested, modern chassis, with generations of refinement in its production process, albeit with downgraded weapons? That's a key feature of the Succession Wars.

Someone said that it was because factories were easier to produce in the pre-Jihad eras. While the technology to make factories was rare in the Succession Wars, it was more common during the Clan Invasion Era (I refuse to acknowledge the FCCW as an era of its own). So you could make old factories that made fucking bullshit for your mechwarriors to die in.

That's not even my main point today. My main point is: 

Why Is The Hammerhands A Viable Modern Weapon?

Trevor Moore: Ballad of Billy John

Integrated Missile Panel

Integrated Missile Panel is an additional targeting and tracking suite attached directly to missile systems. "That's a lot like Artemis IV systems," you might say.

"Artemis what? I reply."

I was trying to make a streamlined electronic warfare system for Battletech. That failed pretty fuckin' hard.

Integrated Missile Panel

Integrated Missile Panels (IMPs) can be attached to Long Range Missiles, Short Range Missiles, and Multi-Missile Launchers.

Firing Modes

IMPs allow the attached missile rack to choose from three modes when firing:

Consistent - The missile attack receives a +2 cluster hit bonus.

Spread - The missile attack receives a -1 to-hit bonus.

Focused - The cluster size of the missile rack increases by 1. 

January's Trailers

12JAN23 - "Why did I ever quit using reliable, old Blogspot?"

*Looks down at the perfectly formatted blog post with notes for December and November and embedded videos that turned into...

vvvvvvvvvvvTHISvvvvvvvvvvvvvv 

January

M3Gan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRb4U99OU80

Boo to giving away everything in a trailer, but it seems okay. I think if you do evil AI stories and keep the AI as a robot instead of a monotone person, it can be really, logically creepy and M3gan seems to hit that. It’s “I, Robot” with a bit of a twist. I admire that they didn’t slip in anything about an app and kept it as kind of a ‘timeless’ evil robot movie.

But could you please, please quit making your prototype sentient robots strong enough to bend steel?! Like, that’s gotta be a structural cost that’s way above what’s necessary; the tech bro credo about moving fast and breaking things applies to incidentals, not to specific end-goals.

It releases on Friday and it’s gonna do pretty good, but not good enough for them to have released it during Christmas: $40 million.

Happy FKN Sunshine

https://youtu.be/Q_M6DJLnqUE

I like anarchic little indie films. I thought it was going to be a movie about “Weird Artie” from the first few bits of the trailer, but it looks like everyone is a little weird in it so I’m intrigued. More comedy than drama.

It’s getting a limited theatrical release on Tuesday the 10th. No word on streaming. Betting: $3,000,000 and 84/73. 

Come Find Me 

https://youtu.be/8QQSm6KX9ww

Honestly, I feel like I don’t do dramas a lot. I want to highlight big and interesting films and “family doesn’t get along but then they do” isn’t that compelling. I don’t even like horror/thriller films, but it’s easy to find at least one that doesn’t look tired/trite. 

Also, I did look back at my first round pick and noticed it was very white. It’s worth giving a second look at movies when I apparently tend to pull towards one demographic. That said, Come Find Me is either going to be pretty good or a mess. I’m assuming the few people who see it will love it and critics will think it’s okay. 67/89 on Rotten Tomatoes. $2,000,000 in theaters.

Friday, January 13th in limited theaters and streaming on Amazon Prime.

Infinity Pool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVnIMvVEkrA

It feels like half Misery and half Star Trek episode. That said, I got sidetracked because it got me thinking of another thriller about a writer and weird fans, The Infernal Machine, which came out in September and looked a lot cooler.

Limited Release on January 27th

$50 million.54/74

When You Finish Saving the World

https://youtu.be/XbgJPKFxHXI

I dOn’T dO dRaMaS a LoT. Both characters in this kind of film really wanting to connect despite not trying to connect is a hook for me. I’m interested, even if it seems a bit staid.

$1 million, 90/73

January 24th (Limited)

Detective Knight: Independence - The final installment of the trilogy. – No, we’re doing The Old Way instead.

https://youtu.be/eWakq9qQ6Ik

The trailer is about twice as long as it needs to be. It’s a western with Nic Cage where he gets his daughter in on the revenge arc. It’d do numbers if it was getting a wide release. And if it didn’t recycle that fight scene shot multiple times.

Actually those are reasons it’s probably going to be a piece of shit.

Limited release January 6, 2023. 

$500,000 45/65

A Man Called Otto  

https://youtu.be/eFYUX9l-m5I

It looks like a kinda paint by numbers story about a man’s heart dethawing. But Tom Hanks can elevate anything.

$50 million, 85/93

Distant

<TRAILER NOT FOUND>

A guy crashes on an alien planet with a sarcastic suit AI to help him out. He’s trying to find his way to another crew member trapped in their escape pod. 

There’s no trailer even though I swear I saw one. Which probably doesn’t bode well for a sci-fi comedy. 

$20 million, 76/87

Alice, Darling 

https://youtu.be/UxXo5qHt0o8

Anna Kendrick. Y’know, I never see her in anything. This looks pretty danged interesting. Not my cut of tea, really, but it looks like it’s good at being what it is.

House Party -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgOP67mTgZg

I can’t comment on everything, but it looks like a pretty solid comedy setup. Party to raise money by breaking the rules. Party gets out of hand. An animal does some drugs. I feel like it’s a genre of comedy that hosts Weekend at Bernies and Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s dead alike. It’s a good genre.


But honestly, if Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist could have had two people of color in its main cast, I’d be ripping on Kevin Sorbo right now, but here we are.


$75 million, 63/75

 

 

January's Trailers

It's the last Wednesday of December and I'm looking forward to the movies coming out in January.

December

But before we do that, let's look back at December.

Maybe it's because I'm off Twitter and I don't cruise Reddit's movie subreddits, but I haven't heard anything about these movies. I saw Avatar 2 bragging about winning the box office, but it was up against the sequel to a Shreck spinoff. Big whoop.

We're not at the money-counting phase for December's movies yet, but I now realize that I didn't make a prediction for Avatar 2. Given that I learned today that it grossed more than Avengers: Endgame, I probably would have been wrong, whatever I predicted.

January

M3Gan

Boo to giving away everything in a trailer, but it seems okay. I think if you do evil AI stories and keep the AI as a robot instead of a monotone person, it can be really, logically creepy and M3gan seems to hit that. It’s “I, Robot” with a bit of a twist. I admire that they didn’t slip in anything about an app and kept it as kind of a ‘timeless’ evil robot movie.

But could you please, please quit making your prototype sentient robots strong enough to bend steel?! Like, that’s gotta be a structural cost that’s way above what’s necessary; the tech bro credo about moving fast and breaking things applies to incidentals, not to specific end-goals.

It releases on Friday and it’s gonna do pretty good, but not good enough for them to have released it during Christmas: $40 million.

Trevor Moore: Gays Got Married

Signal Detection/Emission System electronic warfare system

SDES is a suite of advanced sensors and laser/radio emission systems which detect enemy electronic warfare signals and create similar signals to fool, mislead, and otherwise defeat enemy EW systems.

ECM Effect Strength and EW Strength
The SDES is a new type of electronic countermeasure. It has a variable ECM effect strength. An SDES only affects enemy units and systems if that system's EW strength (listed below) is less than or to equal to the SDES' ECM effect strength.
EW Strength 1          EW Strength 3            EW Strength 5
C3S                    Artemis V                TAG
                       Bloodhound Active Probe  Spotting
EW Strength 2          Watchdog CEWS            Nova CEWS
Artemis IV             iNARC Homing Pod                       
BAP                                             EW Strength 6
C3i                    EW Strength 4            Sensors (+1 to hit)
C3M                    Streak Systems           
Clan Active Probe/LAP                          
NARC Homing Pod                                 

Boosted: +2

Affected unit within radius of allied ECM in ECCM Mode: +1

There are two types of SDES: Mk I and Mk II. Mk I has a base ECM effect strength of 2 and the Mk II has a base ECM effect strength of 4. Other differences are noted below.

Trevor Moore: My Computer Just Became Self-Aware

Dude was a conspiracy nut, but he made a good song.