12JAN23 - "Why did I ever quit using reliable, old Blogspot?"
*Looks down at the perfectly formatted blog post with notes for December and November and embedded videos that turned into...
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January
M3Gan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRb4U99OU80
Boo to giving away everything in a trailer, but it seems okay. I think if you do evil AI stories and keep the AI as a robot instead of a monotone person, it can be really, logically creepy and M3gan seems to hit that. It’s “I, Robot” with a bit of a twist. I admire that they didn’t slip in anything about an app and kept it as kind of a ‘timeless’ evil robot movie.
But could you please, please quit making your prototype sentient robots strong enough to bend steel?! Like, that’s gotta be a structural cost that’s way above what’s necessary; the tech bro credo about moving fast and breaking things applies to incidentals, not to specific end-goals.
It releases on Friday and it’s gonna do pretty good, but not good enough for them to have released it during Christmas: $40 million.
Happy FKN Sunshine
https://youtu.be/Q_M6DJLnqUE
I like anarchic little indie films. I thought it was going to be a movie about “Weird Artie” from the first few bits of the trailer, but it looks like everyone is a little weird in it so I’m intrigued. More comedy than drama.
It’s getting a limited theatrical release on Tuesday the 10th. No word on streaming. Betting: $3,000,000 and 84/73.
Come Find Me
https://youtu.be/8QQSm6KX9ww
Honestly, I feel like I don’t do dramas a lot. I want to highlight big and interesting films and “family doesn’t get along but then they do” isn’t that compelling. I don’t even like horror/thriller films, but it’s easy to find at least one that doesn’t look tired/trite.
Also, I did look back at my first round pick and noticed it was very white. It’s worth giving a second look at movies when I apparently tend to pull towards one demographic. That said, Come Find Me is either going to be pretty good or a mess. I’m assuming the few people who see it will love it and critics will think it’s okay. 67/89 on Rotten Tomatoes. $2,000,000 in theaters.
Friday, January 13th in limited theaters and streaming on Amazon Prime.
Infinity Pool
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVnIMvVEkrA
It feels like half Misery and half Star Trek episode. That said, I got sidetracked because it got me thinking of another thriller about a writer and weird fans, The Infernal Machine, which came out in September and looked a lot cooler.
Limited Release on January 27th
$50 million.54/74
When You Finish Saving the World
I dOn’T dO dRaMaS a LoT. Both characters in this kind of film really wanting to connect despite not trying to connect is a hook for me. I’m interested, even if it seems a bit staid.
$1 million, 90/73
January 24th (Limited)
Detective Knight: Independence - The final installment of the trilogy. – No, we’re doing The Old Way instead.
The trailer is about twice as long as it needs to be. It’s a western with Nic Cage where he gets his daughter in on the revenge arc. It’d do numbers if it was getting a wide release. And if it didn’t recycle that fight scene shot multiple times.
Actually those are reasons it’s probably going to be a piece of shit.
Limited release January 6, 2023.
$500,000 45/65
A Man Called Otto
https://youtu.be/eFYUX9l-m5I
It looks like a kinda paint by numbers story about a man’s heart dethawing. But Tom Hanks can elevate anything.
$50 million, 85/93
Distant
<TRAILER NOT FOUND>
A guy crashes on an alien planet with a sarcastic suit AI to help him out. He’s trying to find his way to another crew member trapped in their escape pod.
There’s no trailer even though I swear I saw one. Which probably doesn’t bode well for a sci-fi comedy.
$20 million, 76/87
Alice, Darling
https://youtu.be/UxXo5qHt0o8
Anna Kendrick. Y’know, I never see her in anything. This looks pretty danged interesting. Not my cut of tea, really, but it looks like it’s good at being what it is.
House Party -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgOP67mTgZg
I can’t comment on everything, but it looks like a pretty solid comedy setup. Party to raise money by breaking the rules. Party gets out of hand. An animal does some drugs. I feel like it’s a genre of comedy that hosts Weekend at Bernies and Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s dead alike. It’s a good genre.
But honestly, if Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist could have had two people of color in its main cast, I’d be ripping on Kevin Sorbo right now, but here we are.
$75 million, 63/75
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