January's Trailers

It's the last Wednesday of December and I'm looking forward to the movies coming out in January.

December

But before we do that, let's look back at December.

Maybe it's because I'm off Twitter and I don't cruise Reddit's movie subreddits, but I haven't heard anything about these movies. I saw Avatar 2 bragging about winning the box office, but it was up against the sequel to a Shreck spinoff. Big whoop.

We're not at the money-counting phase for December's movies yet, but I now realize that I didn't make a prediction for Avatar 2. Given that I learned today that it grossed more than Avengers: Endgame, I probably would have been wrong, whatever I predicted.

January

M3Gan

Boo to giving away everything in a trailer, but it seems okay. I think if you do evil AI stories and keep the AI as a robot instead of a monotone person, it can be really, logically creepy and M3gan seems to hit that. It’s “I, Robot” with a bit of a twist. I admire that they didn’t slip in anything about an app and kept it as kind of a ‘timeless’ evil robot movie.

But could you please, please quit making your prototype sentient robots strong enough to bend steel?! Like, that’s gotta be a structural cost that’s way above what’s necessary; the tech bro credo about moving fast and breaking things applies to incidentals, not to specific end-goals.

It releases on Friday and it’s gonna do pretty good, but not good enough for them to have released it during Christmas: $40 million.

 

Happy FKN Sunshine

I like anarchic little indie films. I thought it was going to be a movie about “Weird Artie” from the first few bits of the trailer, but it looks like everyone is a little weird in it so I’m intrigued. More comedy than drama.

It’s getting a limited theatrical release on Tuesday the 10th. No word on streaming. Betting: $3,000,000 and 84/73. 

Come Find Me 

Honestly, I feel like I don’t do dramas a lot. I want to highlight big and interesting films and “family doesn’t get along but then they do” isn’t that compelling. I don’t even like horror/thriller films, but it’s easy to find at least one that doesn’t look tired/trite. 

Also, I did look back at my first round pick and noticed it was very white. It’s worth giving a second look at movies when I apparently tend to pull towards one demographic. That said, Come Find Me is either going to be pretty good or a mess. I’m assuming the few people who see it will love it and critics will think it’s okay. 67/89 on Rotten Tomatoes. $2,000,000 in theaters.

Friday, January 13th in limited theaters and streaming on Amazon Prime.

Infinity Pool

It feels like half Misery and half Star Trek episode. That said, I got sidetracked because it got me thinking of another thriller about a writer and weird fans, The Infernal Machine, which came out in September and looked a lot cooler.

Limited Release on January 27th

$50 million.54/74

When You Finish Saving the World

I dOn’T dO dRaMaS a LoT. Both characters in this kind of film really wanting to connect despite not trying to connect is a hook for me. I’m interested, even if it seems a bit staid.

$1 million, 90/73

January 24th (Limited)

Detective Knight: Independence - The final installment of the trilo– No, we’re doing  

 

The Old Way instead.

The trailer is about twice as long as it needs to be. It’s a western with Nic Cage where he gets his daughter in on the revenge arc. It’d do numbers if it was getting a wide release. And if it didn’t recycle that fight scene shot multiple times.

Actually those are reasons it’s probably going to be a piece of shit.

Limited release January 6, 2023. 

$500,000 45/65

A Man Called Otto  

It looks like a kinda paint by numbers story about a man’s heart dethawing. But Tom Hanks can elevate anything.

$50 million, 85/93

Distant

<TRAILER NOT FOUND>

A guy crashes on an alien planet with a sarcastic suit AI to help him out. He’s trying to find his way to another crew member trapped in their escape pod. 

There’s no trailer even though I swear I saw one. Which probably doesn’t bode well for a sci-fi comedy. 

$20 million, 76/87

Alice, Darling 

Anna Kendrick. Y’know, I never see her in anything. This looks pretty danged interesting. Not my cut of tea, really, but it looks like it’s good at being what it is.

House Party 

I can’t comment on everything, but it looks like a pretty solid comedy setup. Party to raise money by breaking the rules. Party gets out of hand. An animal does some drugs. I feel like it’s a genre of comedy that hosts Weekend at Bernies and Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s dead alike. It’s a good genre.

But honestly, if Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist could have had two people of color in its main cast, I’d be ripping on Kevin Sorbo right now, but here we are.

$75 million, 63/75

November

I didn't do November, so I don't have a list of movies. Given that I'm already about a week two weeks late on this, I'll skip it this time and run the numbers for December in a few weeks.