Question and Rant: Here and Back Again

I sound smart when I speak to people, a skill I honed in lieu of any other skills. I did this primarily because I like the sound of my own voice, which is a pity because I'll never have an audience inside of my own head to appreciate the light, yet solid qualities my skull lends it. Despite sounding a bit like a stereotypical mentally challenged person, my sounding-smart skills encourage people who barely know me to ask me about my thoughts on current events. People who really know me skip this in favor of letting me daydream about Magic, comic books, or emo guys, mostly because they know I'll be thinking about those things anyway and don't want to put me to the trouble of pretending that I'm listening to them.

Now because I've had the money to stay away from strangers for the past few years, this hasn't really been something that's happened much. However, if I did still have to meet new people and interact with them, I'm sure these are the questions I'd imagine them asking me while they said boring things.

What do you think about this secret service prostitute thing?

Secret service agents fucking prostitutes in South America is no more connected to Obama than Abu Ghraib is to Rumsfeld.

Penny Reviews: 2011, Part I

I got a lot of comics in 2011 (while reviewing them for this blog, I made the mistake of estimating their cost and lost three hours to a haze of fiscal shame), and as people often do at the end of a year, I've taken a moment (actual value of moment is three days) to reflect on my purchases and share the resulting insights with you, the unwary reader.

Planetary Vol 4 by Warren Ellis

Fucking. Awesome.

#1 Best

Playing Favorites excerpts, pt 37

Some of this is even exemplified in “Secret Wars.” Considered, the first ever massive company-wide crossover event, it featured the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, the X-Men, the Avengers, and a host of their crappy villains (plus Doctor Doom, Enchantress, and Magneto) magically scientifically transported to a world made of cobbled-together parts of other worlds (so...generic rock planet plus one freaked-out Denver) on the whim of an all-powerful entity curious about the nature of good and evil (if this seems familiar, it's because this is almost the plot of a classic episode of Star Trek, and it is exactly the plot of two others. I can only suppose that Lincoln and Kah'less were too busy in the mid-eighties to really help out the X-Men with this one.). 

Playing Favorites excerpts, pt 09

Every Tuesday, I post excerpts from my best-selling at not-selling super blog, Playing Favorites

So, I don’t care about a single thing about Cable up to the point that he quit whatever X team he was on at the time and starting paling around with Deadpool. That at some point, he said, “All this fighting and shit…what if we just…stop that?” And started to use the fact that he’s from the future to try to make the world a better place. And the world hated him for it. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Sure, it’s not going to work, because even if Marvel Comics was going under tomorrow, they certainly wouldn’t end the Marvel Universe with Cable bringing about world peace. Kang the Conqueror would come riding in from a time swirl on the shoulders of Galactus talking about The Great Menace of the Future, which is actually a super-Hulk made from the bodies of six smaller Hulks. Now, I’m not saying that super-Hulk would punch something hard enough to break time-

-because that would be dumb-