Ruminations on Machine of Death

The really fascinating thing about Machine of Death is the idea of predestination. It's a shitty observation about a book that's about predestination, but I'm talking about ubiquitous predestination. Predestination for the masses.

Our lives, for the most part, are fairly smooth lines of daily routine with a few jagged edges for the occasional car wreck or marriage. However, there come times when by surprise or design we reach massive changes made on something as small as a few words of commitment, action, or inaction. These are some of our most real moments. I'm sure that the moment in 2008 when Barak Obama first saw the results that made him president was the single point that massively changed everything that came after that in his life. There wasn't a gentle turn on either part of it and while the previous months lead up to it, the difference from "should happen" "actually happened" could have been nothing less than monumental. For the rest of us, no moments are more pivotal than death and near death moments. They are all the difference between something and nothing. There's a story, "Torn Apart and Devoured by Lions," that deals with this rather well. The central character's life revolves around the most important and exciting thing to ever happen to him; his death.

What Machine of Death talks around, but never quite about is the default role that so many people play in their own lives: the casual observer. There's this almost cynical view that the everyday paradigm of humanity is one in which we have little individual control of our fates, much less the world at large. Even an intelligent, interrogative, independent work like Machine of Death perpetuates this version of reality where we are simply passive observers waiting for something to come along and make us strong enough to change the world, whether that's a predestination, a bite from a radioactive spider, our wife being held in The Nakatomi Tower by Hans Gruber, or Gandalf telling us we have to help some dwarves buy new conditioner for their amazing, dwarven hair (I never read The Hobbit, so I'm just guessing.), is left up to the powers that be, but I can never quite shake the feeling that everyone around me is just as vague on the details, but still eagerly anticipate its arrival.

With the need for a catalyst and its prerequisite for fucking delivery to your door, I feel the collective consciousness would do good and believe in their ability to overcome challenges, but only if given the opportunity, and granted the power needed to be confident of their success. It's not noble, but it is reasonable, after a fashion. It does interest me in reconciling all of the worlds' irritating "special snowflakes" with the unspoken masses waiting for an authority to lift them up and tell them they're special enough to make a difference.

Pacific Rim

Technical Difficulties

I want to apologize. VanVelding's still on cooldown/hiatus/probation thing where he's not allowed to post drunk and I'm going on a trip in a few days and haven't built up a queue yet, so there's nothing for today. Statistically speaking, lots of people are traveling and/or in some state of emotional turmoil, so either this won't be more than a nuisance to you or it will be the most devastating part of your Christmas.

Penny Reviews: Saga #1-7

Like Irredeemable and The Manhattan Projects, Saga benefits greatly from being an original series by an experienced writer working for a comic book publisher outside of the big two. Brian K. Vaughan—known for his work on Runaways, Y: The Last Man, and Ex Machina, amongst many others—is writing on a premise you're familiar with: two lovers from opposite sides of a great war try to escape the chaos which has engulfed their world.

Of course, in this case, the world consists of the entirety of the galaxy, and the lovers in question have created a child that's the first hybrid between the two principal participants of the war. Both Alana and Marko are former soldiers, and the story begins with the birth of their child, a year after they've deserted their own armies for one another. News of the child upsets the authorities from their home planets (Landfall and its moon, Wreath) enough that they're upgraded from "embarrassing nuisances" to "targets," and the story begins in earnest.

The narrative threads of the beleaguered parents, and their two hunters—one from either side of the conflict—tag in and out in perfect synch with the miniature cliffhangers that keep you eager to read the next chapter. The challenges of the universe are such that even seven issues in, only two of these players have so much as spoken to one another.

Star Trek: Fuck

I'll be honest: I liked Star Trek: the Next Generation more when it was Doctor Who. I mean it! Star Trek always labored under being the pseudo-military offspring of Gene Roddenberry, whose status as a former sailor is something I've always taken some small measure of pride in.

And that's the problem. Star Trek has to have guns and missiles and shields and Worf basically because audiences here in the US probably wouldn't be able to accept the universe of Doctor Who, where being cunning and absolutely dedicated to the morality of not injuring another soul[1] is enough to see you through your problems.

Linkstorm: The Message

Salman Rushdie decries self-censorship over Islam in the West. We can put as many drones in the air, agents in the airport, and monitors on the Internet as we want, but if we censor ourselves, terrorism wins.

That's how these assholes operate after all. Case in point: Greece's new Golden Dawn Party. In less than a year, a tiny fraction of the population have managed to frighten both the country's minorities and majorities.They know they only have to be loud and dangerous enough to scare the average person out of speaking up. Then, without a word of protest, they can assume silence is consent, declare a mandate from the populace, and continue on their merry way with a dogma that dehumanizes whoever they don't like this week.

The way to combat it is obvious; oppose them. Don't let them silence anyone in the name of "respect" or "tradition" or "security." Proclaim from every street corner that any totem of authority threatened by free speech is a graven image. Tell them, in the words of Warren Ellis, "Your God Is Not Strong."

Because these aren't strong people. They aren't any more dangerous than monkeys picking up handguns. Look at the case of Ajmal Amir Qasab, the last surviving member of the Mumbai Attacks of 2008 who was just hanged last month. He spent his last few days pleading for clemency and begging for lawyers to find him a way out of his fate. While there are hardened badasses with deep ideological roots in organizations like Al Qaeda, ultimately, their ranks are filled with far more people like Qasab, who only have the courage enough to pick up a gun and shoot it at innocents, only enough vision to think that will change something, and only enough compassion to request immunity from the consequences of their actions.

Real article begins below the cut:

Rewatching Star Trek: Ship in a Bottle

All joking aside, I'm thinking of rejiggering some stuff around here. I was talking with a friend recently and we discussed how I've been taking the "Focused by Caffeine" bit very seriously lately. Part of the reason behind that is that it's easy to shoot out a reactionary essay about something that strikes you as wrong, and with the political season having been upon us, it was an easy trap to fall into.

Timewalking Archive Trap: Not Helping

Like anyone whose desire to say something is matched only by their desire to waste time saying it on the internet, I've been blogging for a while. Timewalking Archive Trap is presents select treasures (for very liberal definitions of "treasures") from yesteryear for the sole enjoyment of my readers.

So, you've probably heard about the Women in Refrigerators trope. I guess some guy was inspired to write a version for gays. The gay version was interesting because I've never heard of most of these characters and I haven't been able to keep up with the rest (not really too interested in buying a comic just because some of the ensemble are gay, especially since I bought the book with Freedom Ring to see what the fuss was about and it turns out it wasn't very good.).

Linkstorm: Nerditry

 
io9 has complied a list of great performances in geek and sci-fi roles. I don't know acting, but this article definitively proves that you can list about five of the ten shows on this list and I'll still agree with you because I'm preparing for an age where no one knows what Star Trek is anymore.

Hugh Jackman. Psy. It's cool.

Cooking with Kris

I don't cook often. At least, not as often as I used to. I've never been good at it, but sometimes, my culinary experimentation reveals something that I think is worth sharing with the internet at large. I've never been a big fan of standard recipe formats, so you'll have to keep up a bit.

Maybe you, like me, like sweet things. Maybe you also like the occasional drought of alcohol. I stumbled upon a way to mix those two things into one convenient thing.

Start with ice cream:

Any flavor will work. The more exotic, the more effective.

Put Down Your Champagne and Revolvers

Look you guys, about three weeks ago, some serious shit happened and now I'm seeing Republicans declaring that America is dead and Democrats kicking back like the grasshopper before winter coming and the worst part is that there's a part of my mind that wants to be the tiniest bit shocked everyone's acting like children about all this but I can't because I possess both a memory and the ability to look a the mythical realm that exists beyond the end of my own nose.

I like Barack Obama. He is a likeable guy, and if you say differently then you could get Slider-ed through a dozen different realities where he runs for President of the United States, and you will be equally shocked each time he gets elected.

I like that Maine, Washington, and Maryland voted to legalize gay marriage. It's great that Minnesota voted down a same-sex marriage ban. I think it's a fine thing that Maryland passed the legalization of medical marijuana. I support Montana working to responsibly legislate medical marijuana in their state. Oregon and Colorado legalized marijuana. Just marijuana.

10 Top Tips to End Rape

In the discussion about yesterday's post, this list came up. It's from a Tumblr .gif which credits a British campaign called This Is Not an Invitation to Rape Me with its creation.

1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in a lift and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
6. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
7. Don’t forget: it’s not sex with someone who’s asleep or unconscious — it’s RAPE!
8. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone ‘by accident’ you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can call for help.
9. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. If you have every intention of having sex later on with the woman you’re dating regardless of how she feels about it, tell her directly that there is every chance you will rape her. If you don’t communicate your intention, she may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her and inadvertently feel safe.
10. Don’t rape.

Linkstorm: Gays and Science

Gay Stuff
God bless South Korea. If you have a hard time remembering which Korea is the "good Korea," South Korea has the bars where you can platonically rent attractive young men.

It's no surprise that in its waning days, the regime of Husni Mubarak used sexual harassment and rape in an attempt to silence female protestors. What's exceptionally shameful is the way that Egyptian citizens have continued this practice after his removal. Say some of the offenders, "It's the way girls dress that makes guys come on to them. The girls came wanting it - even women in niqab" before continuing to explain that a tight niqab indicates a woman wants their attention.

Things are going okay. Working on a few projects. Putting in a few applications. Admittedly behind on blogs, a fact I'm blaming on the loss of my wireless keyboard.

Thanksgiving was good, and I'm spending today hunkering down, drinking generous amounts of praline liquor in my coffee and just doing internet stuff.

How about you guys?

Here's NyanWaits for your entertainment.

Vampire: the Apocalypse

Or so the story goes, The Triumph of The Kindred happened in 2081. It wasn't any one event, though in the first years, everyone was eager to take credit for it. For us, then, the petty differences between Sabbat and Camarilla and Anarch had died away. The humans were as divided as ever, but civilization still progressed so that we, the self-styled lords of the Earth, could live ever-more comfortably. Our triumph was one of spirit; we could exist and feed freely (still not openly) but without the constant fear of another Inquisition. For a few years it was a paradise, but if the eldest of us needed any further proof we were the damned, when the world became ours, the world began to die.

It started with a chill in the air. It was against the science of the time and some of the last, best parts of humankind looked into it. As a whole, we were more worried about that curiosity leading back to us. With a few brief meetings about researching the matter ourselves, those curious few kine were given a satisfactory answer and trotted back to their virtual pens to keep researching the next phase in creature comforts and everyday convenience. The kine started wearing coats and our best minds never got past the entertaining foreplay of politicking to turn their full attention to it.

This Scene Had to Have Happened

The Discussion Continues

This debate about girls who cosplay and the men who claim to keep the gates to the geek mantle is apparently continuing on a few different websites. It surprising to me that it's taken off like it has, but reading over the discussions has given me some words I've been grasping for on the "real geek" argument, and about identity arguments in general.

That blog will come later though. Right now, I actually got some net downvotes for contributing to one of these discussions. As I'm not a troll, I didn't really expect that. I guess next time I'll either adjust my message to make it more effective, make sure I'm saying something that contributes more to the discussion at hand, or admit that somewhere along the line I was wrong and subsequently reevaluate my views.

...or I guess I could throw a giant hissy fit and claim everyone's too stupid and corrupt to understand my genius. It seems like that would cheat me out of personal growth without actually changing the results, but damn, it'll feel great until my next foray into a comments section.

Everybody is Free to Cosplay

So I guess yesterday was Cosplay Appreciation Day. That's good because I'm binning the post-election blog I was going to write about in favor of something I've been aching to hit up ever since I saw a Wonder Woman cosplayer a while back.

Image courtesy of nathaninsandiego at flickr.

I'm not posting all of these images. I know a lot of you are at work and can't click all the links, but because these pictures are of cosplayers, some of whom actually make a living by creating costumes and making appearances and some of these pictures are taken by professional photographers for their portfolio, I'm trying to be very careful about the permissions here.

So anyway, some D-bag on Tumblr mentions that Wonder Woman isn't Asian. Now, I can only conjecture about his thought process on this, but I imagine it went something like this:

I think it's obvious at this point that I can't be trusted with Mondays

I originally shifted longer blogs to Mondays so I could document my weekend Magic games, but now that's Magic isn't on the table--literally or figuratively--any more, it's kind of become another thing to forget over the weekends while I try to catch up.

Anyway, I'm sorry this hasn't come up 'til Tuesday. I just left my job on Sunday and I'm just putting in mad applications for work this week and trying to find some other sources of revenue 'til that comes in.

Long story short; political blog Wednesday, linkstorm Friday, probably a video on Monday. So sorry 'bout yesterday.

Long blog running late. Sorry guys.

One of my favorite video game intros of all time.

The Big Night

Hey, just wanted to remind you guys that I wrote a 1,200 word guide to the electoral college for the election tonight. It's old, but updated.

Now go vote! Enjoy this brief period of easily-believed relevance before everyone loses their perspective entirely for Christmas.

And no, you are not supposed to be asking about NaNoWriMo!

Disney/Star Wars

So between trying to shoot a short video for the RPG I'm running, NaNoWriMo, getting some important paperwork in order (for money), and paying lots of money so my car doesn't kill me, I haven't been the best on blogs lately (And also Minecraft, but that's not important). Anyway, the "Disney buys Star Wars (and Willow, I guess)" thing has been bafflingly contentious.

While I did enjoy The Phantom Menace and have never been fashionable enough to love Jar-Jar Binks, I'll be the first the queue up some Mr. Plinkett Star Wars Reviews to watch the detailed, no-stone-unturned documentary revealing the prequels as a visually pleasing creation with fly-by-night fundamentals created with no artistic vision as a means to further get money out of a popular franchise.

Rewatching Star Trek: Schisms

I don't have to add captions to this one.

There are 5,047 types of tables in The Star Trek Universe.

Armstrong: Lie Forever

I wanted to put up an article about someone who mentioned taking off Livestrong bracelets because Lance Armstrong is taking a tumble for accusations (and loads of evidence) about his doping. I'm not posting that link because it was obviously linkbaiting, but there's something that I wanted to address with this Lance Armstrong thing.

I know I go on about it, but it's related to Newt Gingrich's moon base. Now, Gingrich is the kind of organism you accidentally track into your house, but the moon base idea was a good one. Not because going to the moon is so great, but because it's a big idea. It's something that we can believe in. If you can call folks who hate gays "homophobic," then you can call people who hate big, aspirational ideas, "megaliophobic."

Blog in 1000 Words: My phone

Rewatching Star Trek: Disaster

Man, Disaster was one of TNG's best episodes. It made every character a fish out of water, played them against their weaknesses (except Ro and O'Brien, who got spar with each other excellently as the devil and angel over each of Troi's shoulders), and managed to have those characters resolve those conflicts through some combination of ingenuity, determination, and mutual trust. I could go on because I love this episode so much and I could gush about it, but it's Friday and I've got pictures to post to the internet:

There Will Be Brawl, Episode Four: Strange Bedfellows

There Will Be Brawl is a web series that creates--and then exposes--the seedy underbelly of well-known Nintendo characters with exceptional dedication and insane unpredictability. It's the entire internet in ten minutes. Minus the furries.

This series isn't supposed to be groundbreaking; it's supposed to wrap some established, childlike characters around the pillars of an established, adult genre. But here, it veers a bit into full-on parody. 

Geeks and Sports

The craziness that is the conversation about the ability of athletes to speak their minds is still ongoing.

What's weird is that, after watching a few episodes of The I.T. Crowd, I realized what a fucked up status symbol it is for nerds not to like sports and sports fandom. T. Campbell was ahead of the crowd by about a decade when he termed what was then the narrow sub-culture of science fiction and fantasy "fandom." Now, we refer to "geek chic" when we talk about people who love everything from Cougar Town to Twilight, and man, neither of those two things are geek as I understand them. Hell, check out this Comic Critics from a few days ago. Same fucking thing, but from a different angle. Yes, I know that sports, as an interest, is more mainstream than comics or sci-fi and that there are a lot of loud, obnoxious idiots who like sports and can't wrap their heads around why anyone would not love it, but fuck, that sentence is also an exact description of people who like Star Wars so fucking much they reciprocate those feelings towards sports fans.

Friday Morning's Dream

It begins simply, a company internal training video for security officers. There are two female security officers who've come across a car improbably parked in a warehouse/factory. There are giant, almost cartoonish, cables inside representing the archetypical abandoned car with suspicious wires on it. The younger guard is gawking in the window, conjecturing about how maybe they shouldn't worry about about it and there's a plausible explanation for a car whose seat have been replaced with improbably large power lines, but the older one springs into action; walking back towards the security post, dialing the police on her cell phone, and calling after the junior one to follow her.

Gross Dreams Lately, You Guys

Below the cut.

October Letters

So, come sunrise on November 7, everyone here in the United States is going to wake up in a virtually new world. No matter who wins, the election will be over and everyone's going to scramble to deal with the new order. In my experience, just less than half of the political masses of the country are going to dig in their heels with filibusters and cries of undemocratic behavior stemming from the other side having a majority. The other slightly-less-than-half will talk about their mandate, talk about their (sincere) interest in serving all Americans and whinge about compromise and bipartisanship.

Certainly, I'm as baffled as anyone else who wonders why--after a year of rancorous politicking and literally millions of dollars spent by our leaders slandering one another--we can't compromise.

It's not our politicians.

It's the Magic: 10 Something Return to Izzetplane

Jesus fuck guys, I'm not sure I can do this. I don't have enough--fuck

As I was saying, I don't have enough money to buy Return to The Plane That Gave Us Izzet, which is for the best because the set spoiler isn't really exciting me. I don't have enough money to continue drinking Diet Coke either. I could continue with my Coke and coffee on hand, but I'd run out of supplies around mid-week and have a caffeine crash during work. Just to recap; this is my last "It's the Magic" for a while because I'm just not interested, it's last minute on Sunday, my brain is trying to explode, Blogger's doing that thing where it gives me the trollface and assures me the formatting is right for everything, I've had a massive glass of delightful buzz red, and I'm working with cards like this:
 

I guess...merfolk would ride this. Oh wait.

Rewatching Star Trek: Aquiel

 

Geordi takes some sharp blows to the heart over the course of The Next Generation.

Skiltao's Data, Part 2

I saw Skiltao talking about odds on his blog and asked myself why that would happen. It's been a while since I did much with Battletech and had to wrestle with numbers like this (because it's always Battletech). I'd suggest reading and understanding his original post before continuing because this thing runs long without me recapping anything. Besides, Skiltao's a pretty good guy and you should read his(?) blog. 

This is part two. Part one is here, but they're mostly unrelated. The second part of Skiltao's post was how the odds of 1D6 beating 2D6 were equal to the odds of rolling a 6 or less on 3D6. In order for that to happen, you've got to roll a three or greater on the 1D6 and anywhere from two to five on the 2D6. I'm expressing these probabilities as (3-6) and [2-5], respectively. 

Really though, you need pairs of these odds:
1D6  2D6  1D6  2D6  1D6  2D6  1D6  2D6
(3)  [2]  (4)  [2]  (5)  [2]  (6)  [2] 
          (4)  [3]  (5)  [3]  (6)  [3]
                    (5)  [4]  (6)  [4]
                              (6)  [5]

It's the Magic: Vanishing Act

Today's blog is on the other blog. I started looking at Return to Ravnica last night and...wow, I don't even know where to begin with it.

In a bad way.

It's not that it's bad, it's that I don't have any money to buy it and when I look at the list of cards online, the whole thing seems pretty schizophrenic with a few repetitive themes (Unleash, Detain, Overload, Populate, Scavenge). I'm not saying it is bad, I'm just saying that it's making a bad impression from up here in the nosebleeds.

Rewatching Star Trek: Geordi LaForge

As you know I've been rewatching Star Trek: The Next Generation lately. Currently, I'm up to the seventh season opener, "Descent," so I've covered a lot of ground, both good and bad. One of the cool things about watching something you've seen one hundred times or so before is that you don't have to focus on the plot, the events, or the central action (unless it's really, really good). It lets your mind wander over the details of set quality, line delivery, and the thought processes which guide the creation of the core cast of characters. All of this wandering has lead me to the conclusion that Geordi LaForge is an underappreciated gem that invites a lot of conjecture about geek culture.

For those of you arriving twenty years or so late to the party, Geordi LaForge was the Chief Engineer for the Enterprise for four movies and six of the seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation (He was around for the first season, but he was something like Chief Officer in Charge of Miscellany or something.). Most of the previous Chief Engineers died during the first year, meaning that he either has no apprent fear of death or colludes with a lot of alien space mysteries for advancement. Over the course of the series, he gets promoted from a Lieutenant Junior Grade to a Lieutenant Commander (and he's even seen as a Captain later). He's a good engineer, but he's not a literal machine like Data* or a genius like Wesley (there are even a few times where he's like, "Transporters? You want O'Brien for that.").

Skiltao's Data, Part 1

I saw Skiltao talking about odds on his blog and asked myself why that would happen. It's been a while since I did much with Battletech and had to wrestle with numbers like this (because it's always Battletech). I'd suggest reading and understanding his original post before continuing because this thing runs long without me recapping anything. Besides, Skiltao's a pretty good guy and you should read his(?) blog.

The first question is why the odds of rolling a tie on 1D6 versus 2D6 was equal to the odds of rolling a '7' on 3D6. Well, to make a tie, 1D6 has to equal 2D6. That means that odds are equal to the odds of rolling 2-6 on 1D6 and 2-6 on 2D6. Instead of actually dealing with the fractions, I'm going to express these sets of probabilities as (2-6) and [2-6] respectively. I'll do this for all of my sets of probabilities for the rest of this article, forgoing any subsequent use of parenthesis for the sake of clarity (mostly). I'm sure guys who've been through probabilities classes more recently than I have can express this more professionally and/or better than I am, but I'm what you've got.

I don't want to shock you guys, but there's no blog today

I did some Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay this morning (as I often do on Sundays) and I spent most of my afternoon prepping for my first day at my new job tomorrow (including going over the benefits package). Anyway, I wanted to do a review of Return to Ravnica from the prerelease, but I didn't have the money to go to the prerelease so the best I would have been able to do was a "Top 10" related to the set which I can do tomorrow sometime or maybe next week.

Depends on my mood. And comments I guess. But to be honest, it's mostly mood.

Anyway, hope your Monday is going well.

The Kirk Statue

So, I really like this idea of a Star Trek RPG. Heaven knows, I'm probably never going to be able to run it, but I love the idea and I'll love it until I quit watching reruns of The Next Generation on Netflix and something shiny comes along (Last week I got flack from a woman in her 40's for not having seen Firefly yet, so that probably.).

Anyway, in a setting where humanity isn't around, but Starfleet and The Academy are, it occurred to me that there should be a damned statue of James T. Kirk around somewhere. What would a statue of Starfleet's most notable member be without an inspiring quote? 

"How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life."

It's the Magic: Golgari/Izzet

I did and blink-and-you'll-miss-it review of Izzet vs. Golgari last week. That's my full review. It's pretty straightforward. The only other notable thing about Izzet vs. Golgari is how incredibly homoerotic it is. You doubt me? Check below the cut (NSFW. I mean, there aren't any dicks, but if someone sees you looking at this, they'll think it's your thing and nothing you can say will change their opinion.)

Still working on today's blog

Instead, have a video of a Mythbusters guy dancing in a cage to the sound of Doctor Who played on...lighting, I guess. Someone on the Mythbusters staff plays "the lightning" as an instrument.

Election Night 2012

On November 6, folks here in the US are voting on a third of our Senate, 100% of our House of Representatives, and a variety of other local issues. There's also a presidential election, which is carrying a disproportionate amount of interest.

Of course, as one of the candidates recently pointed out, there's really not much give in the voting numbers; a bulk of the voting population is already committed to one side or the other. Indeed, there are lot of polls about who's more popular amongst voters in general, but that's irrelevant. A nominee can be more popular and still lose the election because of the electoral college. Now, there are a lot of sites that give you an electoral college breakdowns as they stand now, but they agree on a few things: most state's votes are set in stone, a dozen or so have some wiggle room, and the rest are too close to call.

Still, on that night, 24-hour news networks will make a noble attempt to frame this as some sort of dramatic battle with its own narrative. I can only assume they do this because there exists a Vallhala for reporters, where they constantly report on a never ending tide of clean wars, humanitarian disasters, and nip slips until the day of Ragnarock. But here on Earth, hour by hour, as the polls close that night, they'll unveil the results of exit polls that have been 90% complete for hours, acting as though the most obvious results are somehow shocking or relevant to buy time until the important states' votes are counted. For your benefit, I've constructed a projected timeline to follow along with.

Advice For Writers

Writer: I love Star Trek, but I want to explore the dark--

It's a Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate

Some of the sharper of you guys may have realized that I've been missing a lot of Mondays and not doing a lot of "It's the Magic" lately. It's not that I've lost interest in Magic, but that the space, time, and lack of pressures I could boast a year or so ago just aren't there, and it's hard for me to focus on Magic with the zeal I did then.

I'll probably do something with Izzet vs Golgari on Monday, though I doubt it'll be a straightforward review (Izzet seems to win a lot, but Golgari is just shy of scary up to the point that the game turns. Reviewed!). Then, I'll probably do a standard "Top 10 Return to Ravnica Spoilers" and maybe a bit on the prerelease. After that, I don't really know. "It's the Battletech" doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

I've noticed I've been "overengineering" a lot of the topics I've got queued up. You know what it's like; you want to do something big and really good and you end up needing to devote time and effort to it that you never really do and it never gets done and maybe you should just do an okay job and get it done because there's no rhyme or reason to any of it anyway.

We've only seen 2 1/2 seasons of the revived Doctor Who...

…but because of Tumblr, I’m like the creepy psychic kid of Doctor Who for my friends.

general questions
“The reason The Doctor doesn’t disrupt the timeline is because…time is kind of a…wibbley-wobbley…timey-wimey…thing.”
Friend:”…”
“Well, I’m sure the series will give you a more technical explanation later.”

The Sound of Drums
“But he can’t be a Time Lord. The only other Time Lord is…oooooooh.”

I'm afraid I can't get gay married...

...I'm already in love with the internet.

Unfathomable Expectations

I didn't write much on this one. I mean it's a lot of writing for me, but it is a long one. Long because I've got links like crazy and if you care about this kind of stuff, if you want to read this whole thing, you gotta click all the links and read all the reads. It's a big time investment and if you don't wanna, then don't; no harm no foul.

You should read it; not necessarily what I've put down, but what everyone else has in the links. They're stories that everyone benefits by reading.

Blog in 1000 Words: Batman

 

Page 26 of The Dark Knight Returns, by Frank Miller

Image is from BigOther.com and Part Six of their review of the series. 

Rewatching Star Trek: Silicon Avatar

Sorry about the inside joke, non-Star Trek people:

Click through picture for more detail.

Linkstorm: Hacks

Writer and comedian Robert Newman applies arguments against providing a welfare state for hypothetically amoral, self-interested recipients to demonstrably amoral and self-interested corporations. (Link)

Stacey Campfield, state senator from Tennessee says some things that all-but-require the "This is what many conservatives actually believe" subtitles at the bottom of the screen.

Bradley Manning is a quarter of the way into his third year of incarceration for allegedly leaking sensitive cables from the US government. His treatment is way, way below board and certainly uncalled for, considering he's being held by the self-proclaimed world leader of democracy, fair trials, individual initiative, and compassionate, Christian attitudes. Considering that his guilt is taken as common knowledge (Aside: He did it.), it's astounding that our government isn't even competent enough to put together a decent case and take him to trial.

Star Trek Homebrew RPG

Intro
Guys, I love Star Trek and roleplaying. In the past, I've been unimpressed with the complicated system used for many Star Trek (and other ) RPGs. They possess a certain technical fidelity, but suck in general. My dissatisfaction stems from the belief that Star Trek is a morality play set in a science fiction universe, not a cohesive, hard science fiction setting. I would love to play a Star Trek RPG, but I can't; anyone else running Star Trek would get it wrong. This leaves the creation and execution of a Star Trek Roleplaying Game in my hands. 

Pitch
If you've ever run a roleplaying game, you know that roleplayers are dickbags who generally don't get Star Trek (or at least my very narrow interpretation of the franchise). I've adopted an approach which accepts that players are dickbags who at least want to learn how the Star Trek universe works. Keeping that in mind, the best pitch I've got is: Ten years after the events of Star Trek: Nemesis, aka Star Trek 10, aka Star Trek: Franchise-Killer, the human race began vanishing, removing the backbone of both The United Federation of Planets and Starfleet.

Job-A-Rama

So, I've got to line up some stuff for the job I'm not enthusiastic about tomorrow, drop by the job that isn't enthusiastic about me tomorrow, and send some stuff in a the job that doesn't really want me but is willing to make it work.

Played some of the Star Trek: CCG this weekend because I'm apparently incapable of separating nostalgic reenactment from fun. Also watched a lot of Star Trek: The Next Generation, played some Magic, and roleplayed a lot. It was good times. Thanks everyone.

Real blog tomorrow.

Maybe.

Time and Children

Katie and Terry have been weird about kids in the news ever since they popped one out. I can't really relate, as they're all loud, irrational, and smell faintly of urine.

I think the best analogy is that it's like having a Minecraft world that you're forced to work on during every waking hour that you're not working for money, and then a few waking hours that you should be asleep for. You build a shelter for the first few nights, and eventually you have some plans and look online for some videos to get some fucking direction. There are a few hard and fast rules, but everything else is subjective and everyone is ready to examine a single chunk and offer you their advice on the tiny walls you've constructed to fend of the creepers that are actively trying to blow your little world to hell.

Comics: Stormwatch, issues #7-12

Four months ago, I did a brief write up on the first six issues of the new Stormwatch series launched in the wake of the DC New 52 initiative. Those issues were written by Paul Cornell, the guy behind Knight and Squire, the Batman and Robin arc Sum of Her Parts, the run of Action Comics which features Lex Luthor as a protagonist while he fucks a robot Lois (aka, Superman: The Black Ring), all of which were awesome.

But if Cornell smoothed the felt, racked the balls, then broke and sunk half the solids, the subsequent work has been largely continued with pogo sticks used as pool cues and half the balls hermaphroditically swapping their color patterns. By the time #12 slides across the line in preparation for #0[1], the score is 15 to X with each camouflage ball counting for half a parsec, depending on its quantum state.

It's not that I have no idea what's going on; it's that the book doesn't know and isn't paying attention.

It's the Magic: Well-Adjusted Scientist

I make a lot of cards, and I try not to publish too many of them because I find other people's custom cards boring or stupid. Anyway, while I wait for more feedback on my other string of It's the Magic articles, I'm putting up some of the more conceptual and fun cards I've made.

Man, despite the fact that it is undeniably a generic sitcom, How I Met Your Mother does have some high points. Anyway, I like Uiel as the one that survives, a creature that dodges the "X all creatures" effects. He strangely dies to Divine Reckoning which targets a specific group of creatures. I'll be honest though; I'm not sure if he's unaffected by Hour of Reckoning, which affects "all nontoken creatures," Aboshan, which affects "all creatures without flying," Akroma's Vengeance, which affects all creatures, but also affects artifacts and enchantments, Awakening, which is like Akroma's Vengeance, but specifically says "all creatures" before mentioning lands, or Apocalypse, which affects all permanents, which include creatures. I'm guessing "no," "yes," "yes," "yes," and "yes."

1,012 Word Brief Review of The Dark Knight Rises

I've been running late on this and I haven't felt much like writing lately, but here's a quick review of The Dark Knight Rises:

Linkstorm: How Far We've Come

Eddie Izzard-Loves Britain, plus Olympics.

io9 does a piece on a piece about distinguishing conservative denialism from reasonable, scientific debate.

More riots are going on in France, as the fundamental inequalities that fueled the riots years ago still haven't been addressed. More notable is that President Hollande isn't interested in addressing the underlying causes of this violence, just directing more funding to suppress it when it happens again. Truly, The West has much to teach the rest of the globe about the merits of civilized democracies.

It's the Magic: Red and Green Make Poo

In order to best use my Magic resources, I'm trying to take the two dozen standard decks I have and narrow them down to fifteen decks with an even distribution of colors and color combinations (White, White/Blue, White/Black, White/Red, etc.). 

However, I'm rubbish at Red and Red/Green decks, so three weeks ago, I thought I'd publicly work on the Red and Red/Green decks so that readers, friends, and random passers-by could offer input on the deck creation process. My rules for the decks are in that post.

Three weeks ago, I made a short-list of cards I had that I wanted to build a deck around. This week, I'm going to outline some cards that have been cut and the threats that my decks will need to address.

Skid Row

Minecraft Tour, Part 6: Even If It's Through Our Deaths, This Will End

If it's one compulsion that no Minecraft player can resist, it's sharing their Minecraft world. We spend stupid amounts of time collecting resources to make functional structures, fantastic monuments, and the occasional erection that melds both into something whose magnitude is reinforced with every use. Sometimes, the exotic landscape generated from basic blocks through simple algorithms is worth sharing with others.

Through The Nether Gate is the nether. I keep nether gates in my central base and by each of my eastern and western bases. This is the run from my eastern base to my central base. Traveling 1 block in The Nether is equivalent to eight blocks in the overworld, so it's quicker to get around. Once you get into it, though 90% of it looks like this.


The other 10% of the nether is these fat, floating octopi fuckers called Ghasts who shoot explosives at you with disastrous results. For example, this used to be a flat plain.

Timewalking Archive Trap: 40k, Part 4 of 4

 

Like anyone whose desire to say something is matched only by their desire to waste time saying it on the internet, I've been blogging for a while. Timewalking Archive Trap presents select treasures from yesteryear for the enjoyment of my readers and the easing of my creative duties. 

This one is dated 15 October 2007: 

Highlights
>My Assault Marines, despite being under lots of enemy fire, managed to totally decimate a pair of Tau Crisis Suits that Derek dropped in front of me to help out his ally. They got off a really good turn of fire before my Marines tackled them and ripped them into Taufetti.

>Terry's dudes didn't move very much. He sat back and made about four long range attacks each turn after his first advancing squad got wiped out. Derek's Tau moved a bit (a bit like a glacier) and managed to thin my ally's ranks. Most of this kept them from interfering with the Richard/Kris side of the map. 

>And the Tau really are spectacular at range.

It's the Magic: Is it Monday Already

Whoops. I was working on this for a video, but Monday definitely snuck up on me this week. Enjoy. It's long and full of irony.

This place is packed and there are like, two seats free. One's by a bunch of kids and I'm like, "fuck that." So I go over to the other table and I ask that guy if he wants to play and he says, "No. I can't, I'm just sleeving this guy's cards." And sure e-fucking –nough he's just sleeving this other guy's deck, and all I can think of is "who does that?" "Ah, geez guys sometimes Monday's blue, or ahm, maybe Tuesday and Wednesday are grey,  and I don't give a shit about Thursday, but come Friday, my fin de semana comienzos with going to motherfucking Dragon's Lair to sleeve someone else's deck, something that anyone could have done at any point during the previous week and does not require that I leave his house.  Because I am a people person!"

So I sit at the kid's table and I play this guy with Strategema—

/Which one is that?/

White blue deck with Venser and Karn. It's built to stay alive until it restarts the game and then stay alive until I restarts the game and then stay alive...

/I get it/

So, I go up to a guy and we play. I asked his name twice. I forgot twice. I could not bring myself to care. His name was Kevin, or Kyle, or K-Pax. Some shit. We're playing and at one point, he's got two indestructible oozes and a pair of two-one deathtouch, flash asps in play and I play Divine Reckoning. Everyone chooses a dude they control and the rest die. I didn't have any dudes, so I considered myself ahead of the curve. He chooses—he fucking chooses so help me god, Terry—an indestructible ooze. I had to stop him. I had to say, "No. Stop it. I thought we could handle this quietly and with a bit of dignity, but I'm paying 2 and two white to kill a single asp. You choose the other one. You oozes will be fine. I'm just casting a fat, slow doom blade here." So he's a nice guy and he's sitting on front of me I squeak out a victory at 2 life from under two [Predator Oozes] and the spell with flashback that lets him get all his dudes in his graveyard back into his hand.

NaNoWriMo 2011: Editing is Complete

I just finished editing my NaNoWriMo 2011 work, Denver 5. I'm currently revising it, which includes adding (some) pieces I haven't written yet, punching up the parts that are written, and working out basic grammar, continuity, and typos. 

Once I'm done with that, I'll be ready to put out another version for folks to read, with the intent of getting feedback from them. My overall plan is to cycle through editing/revision and feedback cycles before calling it complete in a few months (possibly a year or so). For each cycle, I'd like to get one person who is intimately familiar with the source material (you know who you are) and one to two people who aren't so familiar with it to read and give some feedback. Ideally, each cycle except for the last will let me get feedback from people who haven't read it before, ensuring I can keep fresh eyes on it. The last cycle will be a "general" release so that everyone interested can give some input on the final version (not that I'll be super-worried about feedback at that point).

Long story short, if you want to read about super-folks being jerks assholes in a team origin story obviously written by a 20-something white middle class American dude*, then let me know.

Guidelines:

1) I'll mail you a printed, hard copy in a three-ring binder and arrange some included return postage. I can do an electronic copy, but the hard copy is a must because:

2) If I'm gonna pay to print, "bind," and ship you a 97-page booklet, you gotta be invested enough to read it, legibly mark it up, send it back to me, and be willing to arrange a conversation with me where you articulate your response to it (via phone, chat, skype, whatever).

3) This really only applies to folks I know in real life who already talk to each other about mundane stuff, but because I need fresh eyes on each revision, going to ask you guys not to share.

Anyway, comment, email, text, or hit me up on twitter if you're interested. First come first serve, just remember that because my current habitation, employment, and mood are determined by a series of daily 1D6 rolls, it might be a few weeks before any of this happens.

Thanks,

Kris

---

*Niche markets. Am I right, guys?

Blog in 1000 Words: Nope

 

Nothing here about congressional exemptions.

Try again, fellas.

Timewalking Archive Trap: 40k, Part 3 of 4

 

Like anyone whose desire to say something is matched only by their desire to waste time saying it on the internet, I've been blogging for a while. Timewalking Archive Trap presents select treasures from yesteryear for the enjoyment of my readers and the easing of my creative duties. 

This one is dated 15 October 2007: 

The Play
I was visibly concerned about Richard's armies. Concerned. Not, 'concerned that he was cheating' like I was about his handwritten army list (We are collectively convinced he exports 99% of Louisiana's willful ignorances, self-justifications, and outright cheats). I can lose a rigged fight and salve my wounds with a one-off barb that gets under his skin. It's the fact that I knew I should have expected a gathering of elite, special ability unique-type Imperial Guard characters. That's what was bothering me before. Massed tactics with untrained units are something Richard sees as inelegant, clumsy, and relying on luck. He'd rather take one guy with fifty special abilities than fifty guys with one each. I figured each one of his guys was going to possess some kind of butt-kicking thing that would--when activated in concert--turn my Space Marines into so many genetically-augmented, pre-packaged cans of soylent green.

You see, at this point I thought he was merely inattentive, overprepared.

No blog today

Sorry about today and Friday. Totally wiped out by having company over and I have to get up for a job interview that's happening around noon plus school stuff. If I don't have an offer here in San Antonio by Friday, I'll probably be packing up my stuff and rolling back to Louisiana.

So...kinda busy over here.

Timewalking Archive Trap: 40k, Part 2 of 4

 

Like anyone whose desire to say something is matched only by their desire to waste time saying it on the internet, I've been blogging for a while. Timewalking Archive Trap presents select treasures from yesteryear for the enjoyment of my readers and the easing of my creative duties. 

This one is dated 15 October 2007: 

Learning Lessons

Derek had arrived earlier and given some color commentary towards the end, but it was a new familiarity with the rules and Terry's analysis (and the equipment that he used to kill me) that let me retool The Earls of Sandwiche to be less than a jet pack-enhanced suicide squad.

Terry still hadn't explained the mechanics to me(about strength/toughness, Ballistic Skills, Weapon Skills), but I had picked up enough from memory and watching that I was comfortable with how things rolled.

Derek also ran his army through the Army Builder program, and he and Terry argued quite a bit, flipping through the Codex (a list of all the different options an army for a certain faction has) of Derek's faction--the space-American Tau--and talking about point costs and special abilities and the program. I left, not because the conversation was heated (it wasn't), not because it was annoying (it was), and not because it was irrelevant (Derek's army composition was very relevant to me), but because I knew it would end with Derek relenting because he didn't know the rules as well and just using the army builder anyway because he didn't want the faint chance of dishonesty associated with making his army by hand.

Image courtesy of Requiem (Francisco Salinas). 

You can check out more of his stuff on his deviantart at: http://nataku956.deviantart.com/ 

It's the Magic: Sundown for Strategema

So, when October fifth rolls around, Return to Ravnica will come out. When it does, Karn, Venser, and the rest of Scars of Mirrodin block (and M12) will rotate out of the standard format. This means that I'll have to replace my Strategema deck (an event which Terry describes as "Karning Karn").

Actually, in order to best use the resources at my disposal, I'm trying to take the two dozen standard decks I have and narrow them down to fifteen decks with an even distribution of colors and color combinations (White, White/Blue, White/Black, White/Red, etc.)

However, I'm rubbish at Red and Red/Green decks, so I thought I'd publicly work on the decks so that readers, friends, and random passers-by could offer input on the deck creation process. My rules for the decks are as follows:

1) I'm primarily using cards from Innistrad and M13. I'm not against using cards from the soon-to-be rotated Scars of Mirrodin and M12, but I'd like to have some roughly equivalent replacements marked for when October comes.

2) Splashing colors is fine. Green has a renewed interest in handling non-Green mana, so I won't rule that out.

3) In order to decide which decks get which cards, I'm using five tiers to prioritize which decks get cards of a particular color when they both need it. For example, my White/Blue, Black/Red, and Mono-Green decks get first pull at the colors of their type. The Mono-Red and Red/Green decks are way down at the bottom of their colors and get last pull at their colors. These decks won't be competitive, but... No. They just won't be competitive.

4) I only use cards I've pulled. I have a sufficient collection of Innistrad and M13 and buying specific cards isn't economically feasible right now, so the decks will largely be based on the cards I currently have at my disposal.

In fact, choosing which of the cards at my disposal should be used as the foundations of these decks is the first step of this process. Listed below are my selected cards and reasons for choosing them. If you have another card that might make a basis for a good deck, go ahead and let me know.

Prime Minister of Norway on the effects of Breivik massacre

Minecraft Tour, Part 5 of Infinity

If it's one compulsion that no Minecraft player can resist, it's sharing their Minecraft world. We spend stupid amounts of time collecting resources to make functional structures, fantastic monuments, and the occasional erection that melds both into something whose magnitude is reinforced with every use. Sometimes, the exotic landscape generated from basic blocks through simple algorithms is worth sharing with others.

Sometimes--just sometimes--when you pop out of the nether in an unknown location, you have stacks of netherrack and want to build roads that meet civilization. This netherrack road leads to the eastern edge of the lake where the railroad ends. Netherrack is a good substance; it burns forever, creating eternal light and a barrier against enemies when you fire it up. However, it's hell to walk on when it's covered in flames.

Just past the netherrack road is a simple dirt fortress on the other side of a shallow lake. It's...um, so cool.

Built from an innocuous hillside, it shows the utility of burning netherrack. The checkered patterns keep spiders from climbing the walls.

I don't know how, but &*#^ing chickens always get into my $*#^ing structures and never leave.

Timewalking Archive Trap: 40k, Part 1 of 4

 

Like anyone whose desire to say something is matched only by their desire to waste time saying it on the internet, I've been blogging for a while. Timewalking Archive Trap presents select treasures from yesteryear for the enjoyment of my readers and the easing of my creative duties. 

This one is dated 15 October 2007:

I played some Warhammer 40k yesterday for the first time. I didn't really like it.

Backstory
'The Guys' started showing interest in Warhammer about 3 months after I sold my dust-covered, all-but-forgotten starter box to someone else. It was the wargamer equivalent of finally throwing away my little black book, only to have that hookup whore on the side end up in all of my classes at school. At any rate, I managed to be supportive, given that after getting interested in April, Terry and Derek played their first game a few weeks ago. It isn't entirely fair to say that though; I've got a library of hundreds of Battletech that I've never fielded, which parallels Terry's contentment honing his mini-painting and landscaping techniques without ever rolling initiative.

So Terry's been the number one guy on this; subsidizing minis, going over the rules, downloading army builders. He's spent the last few months going through the books at a leisurely, but characteristically thorough pace. There was a time--and I think many gamers can parrot this sentence with honesty--we'd rip open a new game system or sourcebook every week, devouring it, as Russo's zombies devour brains. Derek, the number two guy in 40k, was never so fond of that. He's really the type of guy that's more inclined to focus on the essential information and let practice do the teaching.

This Week

The first panel of Friday's Shortpacked says it all.

Syria's in an open civil war, complete with fighting in the capitol, suicide bombings, and refugees.

Punishing heat and drought across the world, with dire warnings about food prices to come.

The London Olympics seem to be disintegrating on arrival with attempted torch thefts, clothing issues, preemptive arrests, customs and public transportation protests, and manpower, competence, and cost issues in the security force.

Of course, there was also the shooting at the premiere of The Dark Knight Rises that left 12 dead and 58 injured.

Hell of a week.

Minecraft Tour, Part 4

If it's one compulsion that no Minecraft player can resist, it's sharing their Minecraft world. We spend stupid amounts of time collecting resources to make functional structures, fantastic monuments, and the occasional erection that melds both into something whose magnitude is reinforced with every use. Sometimes, the exotic landscape generated from basic blocks through simple algorithms is worth sharing with others.

Just to the east of my main base, there are some hills, but past that is my first village. 

Villages are pregenerated and consist of some roads and buildings and the occasional villager. Sometimes they have chests with nice stuff in them. If this one ever possessed something nice or memorable, I've long since forgotten it.

I wonder what it looks like when an entire village burns down.

Awesome

To mark my embargo on the internet which is in effect from today until I actually see The Dark Knight, I'm sharing a video put out by The Hub to mark their Batman: The Animated Series Rises marathon.

Of course, I only know about this courtesy of Comics Alliance's Andy Khouri.

#Dirty Laundry

So, Thomas Jane, the star of the 2004 Punisher movie, made a Punisher fan film.

I only found out about this through a Comics Alliance article.

Like Chris Sims says, it provides a bridge from Frank Castle being a guy who's avenging his family to him being a guy who's going to start wasting crooks on a regular basis. 

It reads like one chapter in the hero's journey, so despite the fact that it's a satisfactory and self-contained story, it does feel like something is missing (something besides a full sequel to the 2004 Punisher movie). None the less, it's a fun ten minutes.

It's The Magic: The Great Dominarian Planeswalker Showdown

I'm not in a financial position to sample the newly-released M13, I haven't gotten out to play FNM, and I'm not gettin' any play at home, so there hasn't been much to explore on the Magic front. However, while reviewing the new set's planeswalkers (now, with the fortifying power of Bolas!) I thought about which planeswalker would win in a fight.

Then I thought, "Bolas always wins a duel." Because I owned and played with Bolas versus Ajani. Then I realized that most Jaces are useless in a standup fight. In the end, I decided that a tournament of four-way free-for-all games, played with standard decks constructed exclusively from commons would be the way to go. The twist: Each deck's planeswalker begins in play and when its planeswalker leaves play, it loses.

There were eight first-round games and the winners were forwarded to the finals. The finals consisted of two rounds of four-player games, with the top two planeswalkers advancing to the championship round.

Minecraft Tour, Part 03

I missed last week, leaving everyone riveted about the wonders awaiting us in the far west of my minecraft world. 

Sadly, it's only now I realize that there are no wonders; just a funny base with no walls and some nice roads. If you play minecraft, you'll understand. If you don't...

Look! Dogs!