As I was saying, I don't have enough money to buy Return to The Plane That Gave Us Izzet, which is for the best because the set spoiler isn't really exciting me. I don't have enough money to continue drinking Diet Coke either. I could continue with my Coke and coffee on hand, but I'd run out of supplies around mid-week and have a caffeine crash during work. Just to recap; this is my last "It's the Magic" for a while because I'm just not interested, it's last minute on Sunday, my brain is trying to explode, Blogger's doing that thing where it gives me the trollface and assures me the formatting is right for everything, I've had a massive glass of delightful buzz red, and I'm working with cards like this:
I guess...merfolk would ride this. Oh wait.
Huh, That's Funny
"That's Funny" applies to the whole set, but--
This ability is flawed because it posits a world where I'd pay any mana to keep this guy around.
Seriously. Fuck. Seriously?
The best member of the Defender subtheme is "Wall of I'm So Glad Infect Just Rotated Out"
"I was hiding under a rock, just hoping the -1/-1 counters would go away."
I mean, I get it. Multicolor decks are a bit slower than average and having strong defensive cards helps multicolor decks stabilize. It also stands in stark contrast to Rakdos' thing
"You guys don't have a defender theme, do you? Guys? Is that wall over there? It better not be a wall, guys. That's lame."
Which is basically a creature that's great unless your opponent has one of the set's common defense cards. But hey, at least it won't matter if it dies to--
"Set-related removal spell 21b ready for action sir."
Because that's what we're dealing with now. I mean, I get the multicolored theme. I get that I am just comfortable with the more-limited Doom Blade. I get the whatever stuff that makes Whatever Price a good card.
At the very least, it's as strangely resonant as all of the other multi/mono-colored-sensitive cards that Izzetplane is known for.
It would have it's own pithy quote, but unlike everything else on this list, it's busy getting played.
Monocolord Price is quite unlike Izzet Charm, which is an effective, highly versatile card that does a number of fun, non-resonant things. I love Izzet Charm. I'll use Izzet Charm, but I will never. Ever. Like Izzet Charm.
But I do like things about Return to Izzetplane. Don't think it's all hate on my end. I mean, thirty percent of my hate is actually sour grapes. The other eighty percent is cards from Return to Izzetplane.
Sundering Growth is good. So is Trostani's Judgment. I like the "destroy a thing, then get a dude." It very much feels like (if I owned or had played either card) I have turned a thing into a dude for me.
Resonant? Relevant? Random? Yes please.
Yeah, randomness is great. It's just fun. Like topdecking, it the momentary belief in a wide field of outcomes narrowed down to one. Sometimes it's heartbreaking; other times, it's the turning point that totally changes a game.
This Week's Best Thing Ever
I always imagine the unleash guys are only on fire if they're unleashed.
Oh yeah, that's right. Imps need to fill the slot of big, red beater because Niv-Mizzet is the only drag-
"I'm a dragon! And I make more dragons!"
"I'm a dragon too! Niv-Mizzet thinks I'm special!"
No...I didn't mean you guys.
But welcome back. I honestly missed you and your weird shit.