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Tweets are great. My tweets are better. And these tweets are the best of the better.

It's what I do. Just keep going. That first year of college is usually the roughest. Followed by the 5th and 12th.

I've been in college for a while.

Playing Shadowrun. Need to make the blanket defense of all my character's bad decisions--"I'm an ork"--more deadpan. Practice, practice.
12:14 PM Sep 20th, 2009 via web

Naked females aside, it was a pretty good day.
1:14 PM Oct 11th, 2009 via txt

What?! They just moved this hundred-page, all-Pacific party to the European theater! O-o #Cryptonomicon 

2:06 PM Oct 14th, 2009 via txt

Cryptonomicon. Pretty good book by the guy who wrote Snow Crash. Check it out. Better yet, check out Snow Crash.

Just described myself as 'a rolling stone.' Is that pretentious? It feels pretentious. 

5:50 PM Oct 21st, 2009 via txt

Good news is, it's far below my pretension baseline, so...I'm the rollin'est stone ever.

What if you put the happy thoughts mirror from Harry Potter into the dark force tunnel from The Empire Strikes Back? 

4:19 PM Oct 29th, 2009 via txt

Then put Cobb from Inception in there. According to box office release numbers, this should be the best joke I have or will ever write.

Jesus christ, I hope that woman's face is a halloween costume. I think I just became double-gay. 

3:58 AM Oct 31st, 2009 via txt

Saw Elton John on the cover of People a few months later, so it canceled out. Just regular gay again.

The Sentry dies in every other issue of the Dark Avengers. It's like they're making a comic with Sentry for people who hate The Sentry. 

8:26 PM Nov 4th, 2009 via txt

I'd make a joke about how that could be a comic for everyone since The Sentry is universally loathsome, but I know there are people out there who love The Sentry solely because in New Avenger #2151 it talks about how he'd be so much stronger than The Hulk and Superman put together and if anything makes you a winner, it's liking imaginary dudes who could totally beat up other imaginary dudes.

Dark Avengers was a comic with The Sentry for people who weren't shitpiles.

You can't colonize Mars, man, it's full of ghosts! 

Saturday, November 14, 2009 5:11:25 AM via txt

True story. I saw this whole documentary about it.

Man, I can't watch "The Rock", I need to sleep. Wait, John C. McGinley is in it?!

Sunday, November 15, 2009 7:03:56 PM via txt

I don't mention my love of John C. McGinley's character of Perry Cox from Scrubs much because for the past few years I've played this drinking game where whenever I'm reminded of Scrubs' decline, I drink until the sad goes away, but...*glug* *glug* *glug* 

 

For treatment of medical-related sadness.