Disco Comics: MPMN!AA12MWEFDLS4/4

Disco Comics:
Marvel Presents
Marvel Now!
Avengers Academy
Murder World #12
Everybody Fukkin Dies Limited Seres 4 of 4

100% guaranteed to be classy and not wierd.

Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Art: Kev Walker

I could just say “ditto what I said on the previous issue,” but I won’t. I could. I really want to.

I could also bitch about how the visual icon for Avengers Arena is just “AA” in a serifed font in a circle adorned inside and out with non-serifed “A”s. It’s like they phoned in a lazy scream.

Also, the cover image is like a tournament bracket, but with blood. Creepy /s.

But given that everyone seems to die at random and not everyone has killed a person to get past the previous round I don’t--in the words of Will McAvoy--know what the fuck they’re talking about.

Basically, a book trying to call me an asshole for reading something based on its own plot looks real silly trying to say that from a bargain bin.

Disco Comics: MPMN!AA11MWEFDLS3/4

Disco Comics:
Marvel Presents
Marvel Now!
Avengers Academy
Murder World #11
Everybody Fukkin Dies Limited Seres 3 of 4

100% guaranteed to be classy and not wierd.

Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Art: Riccardo Burchielli

So Arcade has decided to reform his rep by killing a bunch of teenagers with Murder World. This is, as near as I can tell, supposed to be a departure from his MO because it's a really big Murder World this time.

This issue tries hard to make Hazmat look like a coward for accepting her fate when it’s the end result of Marvel editorial acepting the fact that these kids will never be marketable A-listers. Except Reptil. Reptil is on TV so he’s pretty fucking safe.

I mean, it’s just whining and moral recrimination that doesn’t have any conflict except comic book characters yelling at each other about how they’re supposed to act in a way that furthers the story. And because that’s obviously a thin premise for a comic book, they have to physically assault the other person to make them listen because of course.

Pointless, boring, incredibly thin...obligatory. It feels obligatory.

Imperial #???

Writer: Steven T. Seagle

Art: Mark Dos Santos

There's no number on the front of this so I reasonably assumed it was a standalone and it worked perfectly that way. It doesn't take full advantage of the format and the message is on the same level as Star Trek's most mediocre "Ra-Ra Humans! Go, feelings, go!"

But it's good. Satisfying, economical, solidly constructed, and opaque enough that I couldn't tell what was going to happen next. The characterization was a bit thin, but as a standalone you expect that.

It's a bit like a no-hitter in baseball; the idea isn't new, but the execution is impressive.

Subsequent searching reveals that the issue number was on the back of the book. It's #4.

Disco Comics: Nailbiter #7

Disco Comics: Nailbiter #7

This is a bit more staid.

Writing: Joshua Williamson

Art: Mike Henderson

My local comic book store is selling very old comics that no one wants for 50c each. I’m a cheap bastard and I love hating things so these are my Discount Comics.

What with Nailbiter being a weird mystery story set in the Pacific Northwest, I missed the comparisons to Twin Peaks when I talked about Nailbiter #5. Twin Peaks did this stuff right; “Mystery story? Nah; here’s some meaningless psychadelics. Hey look,” it then says, while pointing to a figure ducking behind a barn, “It’s The Mystery!” As you eagerly run towards it, Twin Peaks trips you and then laughs at you for watching it. I respect Twin Peaks for so aggressively refusing to give fucks.

Disco Comics: Nailbiter #5

Nailbiter #5 (Sept 2014)

I’m seriously intrigued, whatever this is.

Writing: Joshua Williamson

Art: Mike Henderson

My local comic book store is selling very old comics that no one wants for 50c each. I’m a cheap bastard and I love hating things so these are my Discount Comics.

The deal with Nailbiter is that it’s an ongoing mystery story set in a small, Pacific Northwest town where federal agents and local law enforcement try to find out why so many of its residents become serial killers. Its visuals are wasted on the excessive dialog and this issue had a plug for a tie-in book. Those Issue 1 sales numbers must’ve been encouraging.

Nailbiter shows why things like this should be released as graphic novels. Why place a mystery at the center of an ongoing story? Mysteries do not work that way. Either you have an indefinite deferred mystery story or end up running plot threads of multiple plot threads all over the book and it becomes possible for the reader to engage or suspend disbelief. Nailbiter could lean on intricate characterization, but it’s just a dump truck of stock characters who are distinguished visually and by their hidden motivations.

By the way, Nailbiter went with “indefinite deferment.” In this one issue, a new FBI agent appears, a lead character is is accused of murder, a third serial killer appears—there were two before—a kid goes missing, someone central to the conspiracy is murdered, the only suspect is released because law enforcement couldn’t move the story forward any better than Joshua fucking Williams, and that suspect saves the protagonist which sets Mystery Number One back to zero. Also the previous investigator is still in a coma and an exhausting heterosexual romance between two white people in their twenties is hinted at.

I have zero investment in this story and I was still frustrated at how busily it marked time.

These Trailers Happened

Lots of things to say about Themyscira getting invaded in Wonder Woman's first movie, but that's for later.

For a second there I kinda thought Cyborg wouldn't say anything.

This Captain America Thing

As you may or may not know, Captain America was recently revealed to have been a Hydra Agent all along. Marvel editors had a Time interview pushing the comic and Marvel's been all-in promoting this story. Predictably, the retcon about the guy who exists to fight Nazis having been a member of a proto-Nazi organization this whole time has gotten a lot of ire from fans.

I finally threw in the towel on superhero comics when one o’ my favorite superh- people, Midnighter, who is cool as fuck, learned he was dating Prometheus in disguise. Prometheus, one o’ my favorite villains used his proximity to Midnighter to lure him into a trap, circumvent his fight computer, and then just fuckkin’ stab him for reals. Then? Then? Midnighter punches him to death.

The Killing Joke - Your Franchise is Pandering Wrong

So the news is that the Alan Moore classic Batman story, The Killing Joke direct-to-video animated feature is cleared to be rated "R".

About a month ago, I volunteered to help out Star Trek: Renegades at the local ComicCon. I was looking to interact with Star Trek fans and talk a bit about 17 to 01. I was giving them free labor; don't judge.

Also, Renegades is kinda bad, so if you're going to judge, judge me for that.

The Dumbest Thing in Comics

...is that Franklin Richards was carried to term by Sue Storm and not Reed Richards. 

Avengers Assemble, Episode 01: Healthcare

Captain America: The Winter Soldier trailer

Yeah, pretty excited.

Long Box Goodbye 07

The best thing about splitting the videos up is that I can upload them as I finish them and get something up for the 0100 deadline.

I'll have more up tomorrow. All the shooting is done; it's just editing now. :(

Long Box Goodbye Week 6

Long Box Goodbye Week 05: Alternatives

No Denver 5 Today

Have some Lois Lane instead.

Ebay Week 2

Sorry 'bout the sound levels. Trust me, it was a herculean effort just to get the shitty level this low.

Ebay Week 01

I'll have the actual auctions up and linked later today.

Fun game: list the bits I did in one take and the ones I did in 2+ takes.

Denver 5 Comics, 56-60

Denver 5 is an unillustrated comic strip about a group of dicks that are vaguely acquainted with one another because they are all endowed with metahuman abilities. Character descriptions are here.

<-Previous           First               Next->

Comic 056
1. In the police station office from strip 28. OLDER OFFICER is looking up from a report he was reading. OFFICER 56-1 (Female) is standing in the doorway. She's carrying a folder.

OFFICER 56-1

"Spider caught Jesse Childs."

OLDER OFFICER

"St. Lukes?"

OFFICER 56-1

"St. Lukes."

2. OFFICER 56-1 and OLDER OFFICER still in the office, but Older Officer is getting his coat on. She's reading the folder to him.

OFFICER 56-1

"They say Childs flipped his car through The Spider."

OLDER OFFICER

"Fucking Spider."

3. OFFICER 56-1 and OLDER OFFICER walking through the police station towards the exit. She's still reading the folder. He's grabbing a coffee from a small table with coffee supplies.

OFFICER 56-1

"Units were already in the area because of a building collapse."

OLDER OFFICER

"Fucking Spider."

4. OFFICER 56-1 and OLDER OFFICER outside of the police station, just past the awning from comic 37 (This was incorrectly described as an eave when it is in fact an awning.). The older officer has his keys pulled out is unlocking the key to his car. His other hand is still holding the coffee.

OFFICER 56-1

"There was a second vehicle involved in the crash. We don't think it's related."

OLDER OFFICER

"Fucking Spider."

Denver 5 Comics, 51-55

Denver 5 is an unillustrated comic strip about a group of dicks that are vaguely acquainted with one another because they are all endowed with metahuman abilities. Character descriptions are here.

<-Previous           First               Next->

Comic 051
1. THE SPIDER is still in the loft from Strip 50. He's holding a shotgun casually while looking at a crumpled girl (50-1) on the floor.

Spider

"Tell me she's new."

2. FRANKLIN and SAMANTHA are standing on the right and left side of the loft window. Samantha is obviously angry, but carries her rifle in a very casual left shoulder arms. Franklin looks obviously worried, and holding one hand as if to halt THE SPIDER while grabbing a slip of paper from his pocket with the other.

Franklin

"She's new! She's new!"

3. THE SPIDER moves past FRANKLIN AND SAMANTHA to the window. Franklin is looking to his right (towards Cohort 50-1) and lifting the hand as if he's still holding the paper even though he isn't.

Spider

"Thank you."

4. FRANKLIN moving to the left while SAMANTHA is leaning out the window.

Samantha

"YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT, SPIDER!"

Jesus Christ! Bad Things, you need to stop happening!

We needed to start canceling bad things happening about six days ago, when AOL shuttered Comics Alliance.

I don't really have the tools to even process this shit. I mean, yeah, it was an internet website that talked about one of the least-effective forms of entertainment. It extensively covered the flagship industry for the toxic effects of intellectual properties. To strip all of the romance out of it, it's like the cancellation of Hottest Abusive Spouses Magazine.