Just a Great Movie

 

Movie Trailers for May 2024

 Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes     

Current Ape Level: 100%

 

Evil Does Not Exist - May 3rd

I focus on US films because that's the movies I watch. I watched the trailer for Evil Does Not Exist knowing it probably wouldn't make the cut on that basis. 

But here it is.

 

Darkness of Man (May 21st)

It's an action movie, but get this: the protagonist is over the hill. 

And you won't believe it, but: he's still got it.

Fall Guy (May 3rd)

Stunt double movie. Seems like a fun, stupid romantic comedy with maybe a bit too much pretentious action. They could maybe reveal a bit less of the plot. Also, I feel I'd want the action to be played down a bit because it's about being a stunt double and what they do is hard and dangerous.

 

Pool Man (May 10th)

Funny lil' movie. If you like Chris Pine sorta being a good fit for any movie he's in, this looks like another one.

The Dead Don't Hurt (May 31st)

At this point, Viggo Mortensen just wanders around Hollywood and a film of him being a cowboy shows up in theaters 9 months later.

I wrote that joke at the beginning of the trailer, but now I can only describe it as: Deeply Intriguing.

If (May 17th)

This is the very mid-looking Ryan Reynolds thing about imaginary friends that feels like a retread of Foster's Home for Imaginary friends and feels like it's the second imaginary friends movie to come out this year.

 

The Strangers : Chapter 1

Yeah, the nuanced world of three random psychos with perfect timing and coordination and kill out-of-towners needed fleshing out. 

You might say that two minutes of a woman NOT-answering a door isn't a trailer. I would say that 'Townies murder tourists' is not a franchise.

 

Atlas (May 24th)

I'll be honest with you, I thought Jennifer Lopez was a bit too old to play tough bitch roles and I never thought I'd see her doing science fiction, but I'm interested. Let's do this.

 

Furiosia (May 24th)

I didn't even see the last Mad Max and I got goosebumps from this, so 'well done.' The look is almost animated. I didn't even recognize Chris Hemsworth.

Garfield (May 24th)

Which would be worse? A presidential biopic or a serious reboot of the franchise films about a big orange cat?

Trick question. The reboot with Chris Pratt is the worst.

 

March Takes 

The Three Body Problem: Looks like people like it. SPOILERS:

Everything Else

Man in Full - May 2nd

Technically a series, but Jeff Daniels generally does good shit or the Dumb and Dumber movies, and I don't see Jim Carrey here.

"What are you gonna do, shoot me?" -Man shot

 

Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang is great.

Spatial Awareness in The Shining

 

1,000-Shot Nerf Blaster

 

I'm queuing these on July 15, 2023.

What is your world like, future reader?

Garnier Laboritoire

 

Movie Trailers for April 2024

As I do, I talk about a spread of ten movies coming out next month and a few other things. I used to talk about expected earnings, but I was supposed to publish this two days ago so cut me some slack.

Civil War - April 12th

I like that it's not taking sides by pitting a president on a non-constitutional third term against a Texas/California alliance. It's clearly about the horrors of war and being a war correspondent in your own home. 

And I know it's not about that, but I hate they spoil in the trailer that the President gets pulled out of the Oval Office.

 

Superstore Cutaways

It's My First Day

This is one of my earliest Simpsons memories and it's a good one.

Archer

 I never knew the end of his rampage was from something. I should have known though.

Yelling at the Day Moon

After going through last summer where the sun stayed up after 8:00 and yelling at the 'Night Sun,' I relate to this on many levels.

Movie Trailers for March 2024 (Reprise)

Dune: Part Two (March 1st)

Of three? More like "Muad'Deez nuts"!

The Bizarro

 

Tenacious D

 

ERB: Thanos v Oppenheimer

 

"We're History" by Horrible Histories

 

"The Man" by The Killers

 

"Welcome to My Parents' House" by Ninja Sex Party

 

Movie Trailers for February 2024

So the deal is that I was smart enough to queue this, but too dumb to finish it.

No Way Up

A clever, if probably not very good, movie where a plane crashes into the ocean, but precariously on an ocean shelf and the people on time are working against several clocks to get out. There is also a shark and Colm Meaney. 

It looks kinda bad, but hey, Colm Meaney.

Argylle

I hope it enjoys winning February, because it's gonna.

Race for Glory: Audi vs. Lancia

 I can only assume this is a sequel/prequel to Ford vs. Ferrari.

Lisa Frankenstein

Cute. Feels like a fun 80's movie.

 

Adam the First

It looks like a pretty decent drama. Like, no big.

Bob Marley: One Love 

The lead is hot enough, but...um, something.

Madame Web

When I saw this on the list, my first thought was, "That wasn't a joke?," but after seeing the trailer I'm not sure it isn't.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba - To the Hashira Training

-_-

 

Drive Away Dolls

This looks like a fun little movie.

Ordinary Angels

Goddy inspo-porn. Where being dumb works out. It refers to a to a real event and real good in people, but also the whole story is in the movie so why bother?

 

Conann

Christ. It looks like they're re-releasing Tenet and Turning Red instead of actual new movies, if you're curious about the general state of Hollywood these days.

I'll say, it's the Frenchiest-art of Frenchy-art films. I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's...Conann.

 

Other Stuff

The series "Mr and Mrs Smith" with Donald Glover is coming out in February on Amazon Prime. It looks...intriguing.

MATN: 20 Minutes Till Dawn

 

Happy 5 Year Anniversary to This Bit

 

Damn

 

Lord Mandalore: Stronghold