Houma Movie Club: Phase 13

So Horns, Burke & Hare, and The Grey were all pretty good. There wasn't enough wolf punching in any of them, to be honest so now we're going with a few classic, pre-X-Men, pre-Blade superhero movies. No videos because I forgot to write this up last night and I'm posting it from work. I'll add 'em later.

Tank Girl (1995, 104 min)

I am eager to see this movie. I read the Comics Alliance review of it a while back and that only piqued my interest. Our modern world is so full of gritty, post-apocalyptic media that it makes you unironically wish for a grit-based apocalypse (probably one precipitated by the words, "Winnie the Pooh, but it's all an LSD trip by Christopher Robin!").

Tank Girl looks like the vibrant, dumb, smiling, fun post-apocalypse I can only get from Killjoys, and that's setting the bar high for a movie that I'm pretty sure has never even been aware of the bar, much less cleared one.

Robocop (1987, 102 min)

Old Detroit has a cancer. The cancer is crime.

The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005, 99 minutes)

Okay, so technically, this thing came out after Blade (1998) and X-Men (2000), but The Crow was released in 1994 and the sequel was released in 1996. I think it counts.

Technicalities aside, this thing is the fourth Crow movie. It stars Eddie Furlong. It stars Tara fucking Reid. It has post-Buffy, pre-Bones David Boreanaz (the worst Boreanaz). It has Dennis Hopper schlepping it. The director's only other non-documentary directing credit is a movie I've never heard of called Six-String Samurai. It has Danny Trejo in it so we can't not watch it.

What I'm saying is that The Crow: Wicked Prayer is a bad movie and watching it will make you feel bad. We usually keep who choose what and who voted for what pretty secret, but I'm really proud of this evil I'm about to unleash on the world. I'm not even sorry.

Houma Movie Club: Phase 12

So Houma Movie Club rolls on. I'm probably going to start recording the audio again and hosting them on the big boy site. The last run was good. Frank and Robot was a solid drama that effectively used supporting characters and robots. Mercenaries was my pick for our best movie. Maniac, Rubber, and Mr. Nobody were all great movies with serious flaws/unappealing elements. None the less, I feel like this might be the best phase since Phase 4.

Anway, Richard has dropped out and Josh and Katie have had obligations lately, so our pickin's for Phase 12 are slim, but of high quality.

Houma Movie Club: Phase 11

Sadly, we didn't get to record the Houma Movie Club Flip This Movie End of Year Event, but we are rolling into 2015 with a new set of movies and a slight jump in the numbering scheme.

So yeah, Big Fish, but with Jared Leto. If that doesn't interest you, maybe you missed the part with Jared Leto. But seriously, I'm gambling on this movie having a bit more high concept sci-fi meat on its bones than being Sliding Doors or Butterfly Effect with a prettier protagonist.

The Maniac trailer says so much and so little that I can't help but be intrigued by it. It says it's a horror movie, but it looks more like a thriller. Can any of you tell me what the difference is?

I know what you're thinking: it's an Asylum movie. But there is no kind of movie to sit down and watch with your friends like an Asylum movie.

You know who watches movies and loves a high concept?

This guy.

I'm going to call this the least obnoxious person-falls-in-love-with-a-robot film ever made.

Okay, second least.

Houma Movie Club: Phase 7 and the future

If you hadn't noticed, I haven't put up a Houma Movie Club since Hook. Google started phone authentication for Hangouts On-Air and since I try to reasonably limit the personal information I give to capricious slapped-together, social media platforms, we're done with using Google Hangouts.

We're just doing some regular chats right now, but if we can all get Skype together I'll probably start recording them and putting them up either as podcasts or as videos with some still photos over them. Open to input.

So it's time for Phase 7. As we do, there is no theme aside from a minor, voluntary "spooky" theme because it's October. Standard rules apply: on Netflix, released in the past five years, 90 minutes, and no more than one of us can have seen it already.

Voting is open. Two votes per person. The voting results are also going to be hedged a bit. Last phase Josh worked on the weekend we did his movie and that's weak so in the future if someone who chose a movie can't make it, we'll try to swap movies or skip a week.

Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010, 89 minutes)

The premise of Tucker and Dale vs Evil is that the real monsters are photogenic college kids with mediocre acting skills spending a weekend in the woods. And if think about it, that kinda shakes out.

Houma Movie Club: Hook

Houma Movie Club: The Survivors & Gamergate stuff

Survivors is a 1983 comedy starring Walter Matthau, Robin Williams, and Jerry Reed. I think I spend most of this chat convincing everyone that it's a bit deeper than it seems at first glance.

The first hour is the movie and the second hour is Derek and I bitching in the presence of others about the gamergate stuff I've been bitching about for the last week.

Houma Movie Club: Carlos (2010)

We watched the 2010 movie Carlos this week.

By the end, we were all rooting for cancer.

Houma Movie Club, Phase 6

So Phase 6 is upon us. We've decided to do a Robin Williams theme. Given the sparse selection available on Netflix and Hulu, we've waived the originality requirement. Richard has indefinitely bowed out, so we're down to four participants and four movies.

Remember, everyone gets two votes, whether you're in the club or not. Poll closes Monday, so vote quickly.

The Fisher King (1991, 137 minutes)

Robin Williams supported homeless causes. In one of those things you see going around the internet, there was a rider in his contract stipulating that when he was hired for events, a certain percentage of the staff had to be homeless folks. 

It's not surprising that he opted to positively portray homeless folks in The Fisher King. I always thought it was something like Good Will Hunting, so now that I know it's an uplifting comedy, I'm excited to watch it.

Hook (1991, 147 minutes)

I saw this as a kid, but I'm looking forward to it because allegedly Bob Hoskins and Dustin Hoffman played Smee and Hook as gay. It apparently made Steven Spielberg livid, so I'm looking forward to it.

The Survivors (1983, 107 minutes)

My dad's mom had a lot of movies on VHS: Support Your Local Sheriff, Blazing Saddles, Smokey and The Bandit, and a few others. I never really got around to watching them until after she died, but The Survivors was one of them and it's surprisingly good.

The Birdcage (1996, 117 minutes)

I love Nathan Lane in The Producers. Watching him don high heels and savagely kick the line between homosexual and transsexual makes me anticipate puking. I've never seen The Birdcage all the way through but I hope Robin Williams, Hank Azaria, Gene Hackman, and Ally McBeal can mitigate the worst of the damage.

Houma Movie Club, Phase 5

In case you haven't noticed, I haven't been updating a lot lately. My job situation is getting critical and I moved out here to Los Angeles for two weeks to see if I could fare any better than I was in San Antonio. Spoilers: I did not. 

Anyway, I've been trying to make the most of my time here (job-wise; trying not to get too much of this reverse Sarlacc Pit on me is something of a secondary goal) and I've been pretty twisted up, so there hasn't been much writing getting done.

Moving onto the business at hand. This week, the Houma Movie Club is back on our regular rules: no more than two of us have seen it, has to be on Netflix, and it can't have been released more than five years ago.

Houma Movie Club: C.H.U.D.

Not much to add. We're voting this week so I'll be putting up more about that (trailers, descriptions, etc.) on Wednesday.

Houma Movie Club, License to Drive

Man, this was a rough one. We had some personnel problems and technical problems too.

It's all up from here though.

Houma Movie Club: The Prophecy

The Prophecy's only crime was in not being great. At least expectations are low for License to Drive next week.

Houma Movie Club: Hellraiser

Houma Movie Club: Stand Up Guys

So Houma Movie Club happened this weekend. Stand Up Guys was really good. My final estimation for this round is:
1) Cabin in The Woods
2) Stand Up Guys
3) Europa Report
4) Stephen Seagal is the Force of Execution

Anyway, our viewing order for the next round:
1) Hellraiser
2) The Prophecy
3) License to Drive
4) Planet of the Apes
5) C.H.U.D.

Houma Movie Club: Europa Report & Phase 4

Houma Movie Club: Steven Seagal is the Force of Execution

I really enjoyed Force of Execution. Just when you think it's going to be shit, it jukes and it's just crap. One of my favorite quotes is when Mr. Alexander talks about sending hit squads back "dead in a box," when you either send people back dead or send people back in a box (and safely presumed dead). It's like Steven Seagal is playing someone with a particular level of inarticulateness.

Next week is Europa Report.

Houma Movie Club: The Cabin in the Woods

This week we watched The Cabin in the Woods this week and it was really, really good. It's a clever movie that, for me anyway, is the final word on horror movies.

I think we're getting better at these things, I think I need to pull the intensity back a bit. For the guy who said, "let's not quibble" a few weeks ago, I think I carried more than my fair share of quibbling this week.

PS: Team Excalibong

Houma Movie Club: Grabbers

This week we talked about Grabbers, which was one of our better picks. Josh couldn't make it and Richard joined up. We talk special effects, the role of romance in horror movies, behavior/biology of space aliens, and poitín.

Our movie next week is Evil Dead (2013). After that, we'll be watching Steven Segal is the Force of Execution, Europa Report, and Stand Up Guys.

Houma Movie Club: Zombie Hunter

So a scheduling issue pushed us back a while, but we finally talked about Zombie Hunter. It's unanimously the worst movie we've seen. It's just awful.

Houma Movie Club: The Last Stand