TRO: Dark Age part 1 of 8

So I've been putting off doing stuff because I want to do other stuff first, but then I don't do the other stuff so I end up not getting stuff done. Perfection is always the enemy of good. 

Without getting into it, I've finally gotten the Technical Readout: Dark Age for Battletech. It's a whopper and it's all 'mechs. I was going to say, "...and, thankfully, all 'mechs," but I guess my thinking has evolved on that. I'll get to it.

These are my notes on it as I read it, with latter-day interjections being italicized.

Intro

Some good points about "The Dark Age" era actually being the end of The Republic Era.

The ilClan of 3250 exists and it's Clan, complete with a Last Annihilation, and SLDF-like gunslinger program, and a Roshak writing reports.

The talk of all of these 'mechs being obsolete is either an overstatement--the same way that Star League tech was considered the bee's knees when it's more like the flea's wings--or a sign of things to come. My thought on the future of Battletech is a time/tech jump which makes most now-modern equipment usable, but mostly worse than a new generation of fewer, streamlined systems which more elegantly sit atop Total Warfare/Time of War/Destiny rulesets.

Gún

A Capellan infantry support/counter platform.Most 'mechs have stories about how cool they are--the Gún includes that--but the aside about a Davion Centurion acing four of them and a pilot refusing to do war crimes in it seem to have misunderstood the assignment.

It's also notable for mentioning a Davion "warbook" used to identify Gún configurations, which I kind of assumed TRO's were.

Congrats on making a 'mech that, while respectful of the Chinese culture of the Capellan Confederation, no one in your western audience is going to talk about because the "ú" character needs to be looked up and "Gun" with the unaccented "u" means "gun" in English.

Disco Comics: MPMN!AA12MWEFDLS4/4

Disco Comics:
Marvel Presents
Marvel Now!
Avengers Academy
Murder World #12
Everybody Fukkin Dies Limited Seres 4 of 4

100% guaranteed to be classy and not wierd.

Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Art: Kev Walker

I could just say “ditto what I said on the previous issue,” but I won’t. I could. I really want to.

I could also bitch about how the visual icon for Avengers Arena is just “AA” in a serifed font in a circle adorned inside and out with non-serifed “A”s. It’s like they phoned in a lazy scream.

Also, the cover image is like a tournament bracket, but with blood. Creepy /s.

But given that everyone seems to die at random and not everyone has killed a person to get past the previous round I don’t--in the words of Will McAvoy--know what the fuck they’re talking about.

Basically, a book trying to call me an asshole for reading something based on its own plot looks real silly trying to say that from a bargain bin.

Disco Comics: MPMN!AA11MWEFDLS3/4

Disco Comics:
Marvel Presents
Marvel Now!
Avengers Academy
Murder World #11
Everybody Fukkin Dies Limited Seres 3 of 4

100% guaranteed to be classy and not wierd.

Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Art: Riccardo Burchielli

So Arcade has decided to reform his rep by killing a bunch of teenagers with Murder World. This is, as near as I can tell, supposed to be a departure from his MO because it's a really big Murder World this time.

This issue tries hard to make Hazmat look like a coward for accepting her fate when it’s the end result of Marvel editorial acepting the fact that these kids will never be marketable A-listers. Except Reptil. Reptil is on TV so he’s pretty fucking safe.

I mean, it’s just whining and moral recrimination that doesn’t have any conflict except comic book characters yelling at each other about how they’re supposed to act in a way that furthers the story. And because that’s obviously a thin premise for a comic book, they have to physically assault the other person to make them listen because of course.

Pointless, boring, incredibly thin...obligatory. It feels obligatory.

Hobbit 3 / Lord of the Rings -1: Battle of 4 2/2 Armies

Known in America as "These Motherfuckers Again: Plus Other Motherfuckers Again"

When we last left The Hobbit, Smaug was getting himself emotionally pumped for a busy night of burninating both the countryside, the villagers, and the thatched roof cottages of Lake Town. Because I've started playing Skyrim since this all started, my usual line-by-line commentary has been alloyed by my perspective as the Dovahkiin.

*Smaug burns down the village as the villagers scream.* "But it's a literally a Lake Town. Just...jump into the water villagers." "Fish shit in there!" screams one villager. "'e shits in there!" screams another, gesturing at the first. 

They burn to death and I cast heal with both hands as I walk through the fire, but not before looting their bodies to gain two bone meal.

I can see Tauriel looking up at Smaug as he strafes the village with fire again. His ability to both move and use a breath weapon makes him terrifying, especially for an archer. None the less, I can already see the finishing move where she surfs him into the bottom of the lake.

I can only assume it's called "Lake Town Lake," because that's how things are named here apparently.

Long Box Goodbye Week 6

Long Box Goodbye Week 05: Alternatives

Man of Steel Kris Notes

io9's Rob Bricken did a great job of talking about the most memorable parts of Man of Steel. Like him, I saw MOS and didn't particularly like it. I also took eight pages of notes as I watched it. I'd scan and post them, but I wrote them in the dark. In my own handwriting. And I called Jor-El "Luthor" a couple of times, which probably says a bit too much about my psychology. 

Anyway, in the tradition of The Hulk and Iron Man, enjoy Man of Steel Kris Notes

FYI: the notes are made during the movie. Italics are used to denote something that I penned in after seeing the whole film.

Shoot The Doctor, Then Throw Batman Into the Sun

There's a trope, whether it's on TV Tropes or not, called "Just Shoot The Doctor." You see, in Doctor Who, the titular character causes all manner of trouble for the variety of militaristic aliens (The Doctor's an alien too, so they're not all bad). It would be far easier for the Daleks, Sontarans, and Cybermen of the universe to just shoot the insufferable Doctor the moment he emerges from his little blue box.

But they don't. Why? Because the universe of Doctor Who does not work that way. There are in fact, quite a few writers who work very hard to make sure that universe expands according to a set of rules which start with and sit below that one. As with every other piece of entertainment, the creative team are a pantheon of gods, defining the hero's method of triumph by crafting every atom of the conflict from the ground up.

So, like Captain Picard staring down Armus on Vagra II, we find our selves face-to-face with the skin of evil that is Man of Steel. (Spoilers after this point)

The Dark Knight Rises Review (Part 4 of 4)

Over the past few weeks, I've been tearing down Batman, discussing major foibles built into the character by the different creators and times in which he has existed. It's not because I don't like Batman; I've found that a good rule of thumb when encountering things I don't like is to just walk away and get on with my life. If I truly thought Batman was as fundamentally flawed a concept as these last few posts might imply, I wouldn't care enough to talk about it.

This series isn't even a critique of these variations of the concept; I'm painting with some pretty broad brushes here. Most of the time, these issues are part of the general, grating background noise of an imperfect universe that I alone haven't learned to tune out in an effort to go along and get along. If life experiences are a pile of burritos with mud in the middle, Batman's foibles are the ones where the mud's been replaced with onions; still awful, but better than most.

Which is why Nolan's version of the Batman concept—the concept being the sum total of the characters, the setting, and the central conflict—is the best that has ever been created^[1].

Review: The Year's Best Movie to Hate

So back on the 12th, I saw Iron—well Genius Playboy Billionaire Philanthropist 3: This All Could've Been Avoided with Therapy. I thought it was going to be really bad. I thought it was going to be the first part of the Marvel movie franchise ship to hit the ground. I expected a catastrophic crash as the massive inertia thrust seven more movies inevitably out, only to be driven immediately into the earth. I imagined a sky filled with tons of cultural dust and debris, a column rising like so many false hopes. After all, everything good is only good until it sucks.

What I saw was worse than having my pessimistic predictions met. Genius Playboy Billionaire Philanthropist 3 was not a fiscal failure. That's not a surprise though; we live in a world where everyone just accepts that Michael Bay lives in a mansion. There was a lot of positive critical talk about it, which was surprising, but not bad. I started worrying whenever trusted sources and friends began calling it "good" and "the best one yet."

This was compounded when I actually went to see Genius Playboy Billionaire Philanthropist 3. It is a move that I will hate with a burning passion forever. It's a BINGO card of awful movie decisions. It's a movie that has everything in common with The Phantom Menace, Transformers, Superman III, an awful crossover comic, a mediocre comic book, and a bunch of other shitty things. Most infuriatingly, it never, ever started sucking like I expected it to.

What's Wrong with Batman, Part 3 of 3

I love Batman and I'm not alone. Batman is more beloved by the internet than a Jesus made of bacon. The concept of Batman has changed a lot over the last 75 years, but its core quality is that it adapts to the culture of which it is a part.

Batman does have some problems though. While some of these are products of their time, many are the result of concepts executed without considering of the implications. I'm no Batmanologist, but I'd like to take a few days to look at these problems.

The more modern interpretations of Batman take the violence back a notch. He starts the Martha Wayne Foundation. He helps street urchins get jobs. His equipment gets upgraded. He gets a son.

It's during this period that his one sort-of superpower hits its stride. It's a contextually supernatural ability to "use his fucking brain," which is apparently equally as rare as being the last surviving member of an alien world 100s of light years away and from an alternate universe. This boils down to his superpower being common sense, which is narratively executed so that Batman isn't smarter than everyone else so much as he makes everyone else dumber by being in the same comic.

What's Wrong with Batman: Part 2 of 3

I love Batman and I'm not alone. Batman is more beloved by the internet than a Jesus made of bacon. The concept of Batman has changed a lot over the last 75 years, but its core quality is that it adapts to the culture of which it is a part. 

Batman does have some problems though. While some of these are products of their time, many are the result of concepts executed without considering of the implications. I'm no Batmanologist, but I'd like to take a few days to look at these problems.

After Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns came out in 1986 the image of Batman changed. Maybe it was backlash from the 60's camp which abandoned earlier pretenses to realism. But by including a more granular look at the Batman universe, the Dark Age of Batman covered a few of the Robin issues. The Boy Wonder got his own family, some distance from Batman, and even some pants.

During this time, Batman becomes calculating and emotionally detached, because in order to be strong, writers believe you have to be an impersonal dick as some kind of virtue. Only weak people have fundamental social skills, apparently. Common courtesy, smiles, and even trust become incompatible with this Batman, with no exceptions made, not even for the man he raised, the woman who conducts his command and control, his surrogate father figure, or the boy who idolizes him.

What's Wrong with Batman: Part 1 of 3

I love Batman and I'm not alone. Batman is more beloved by the internet than a Jesus made of bacon. The concept of Batman has changed a lot over the last 75 years, but its core quality is that it adapts to the culture of which it is a part.

Batman does have some problems though. While some of these are products of their time, many are the result of concepts executed without considering of the implications. I'm no Batmanologist, but I'd like to take a few days to look at these problems.

Early Batman was built in the mold of pulp heroes; an extraordinary man who has set out to fight crime with his extraordinary abilities. Compared to later superheroes, and even many of his contemporaries, Batman has no powers. He eschews most technologies, relying wholly on the physical and mental capacities of humanity, even decades later when he's matching wits with immortal aliens boasting entire war worlds. That's not the best approach; someone who wears circus tights and a tool belt is worthless in a world where villains can punch through metal, control minds, or have guns. After all, what can a guy do that even a second-rate hero like Hawkman--who is literally a guy plus wings--can't?

They're Not Called Freepubliberals

It started as a poorly-focused Libertarian project built around promoting the work of a single individual, but became something much worse. Naming any of the players involved would be unprofessional, but for the sake of simplicity, I call the entire fiasco "The Freepublican Job."

My initial perspective of Libertarians was based on a simple concept of the political spectrum. If Republicans favored government intervention on social issues and eschewed it for economic issues and Democrats wanted government out of the social sphere and in the economic sphere, then Libertarians wanted the government out of both. On the surface, it seems like a party with a platform of responsible government spending, except without the ultra-Christian minority adding tourettes-like bylines.

As someone who watches the political landscape, I was aware of Ron Paul's repeated run for the presidency as a Libertarian in Republican's clothing. I'd known that Republican support for Libertarians was strong, but had always assumed that those on the left had as much to gain from it as the right. After all, Ron Paul opposed foreign wars, wanted to draw down the military, favored a less authoritarian approach to our relationships with other countries, and loudly decried the post-9/11 erosion of civil liberties.

There Will Be Brawl, Episode Five: Monsters

 

There Will Be Brawl is a web series that creates--and then exposes--the seedy underbelly of well-known Nintendo characters with exceptional dedication and insane unpredictability. It's the entire internet in ten minutes. Minus the furries.

Nintendo's stable of recognizable characters and the staggering number of titles in which they interact makes a universe that is complex and contradictory enough that the editorial staff at DC would be hard-pressed to reconcile it, even if they released nothing but crisis comics for the next thirty years without resorting to Nintendo's time-tested strategy of never discussing it. "There Will Be Brawl" is notable in that it would sit as an equal with any end result from that kind of reconciliation; it makes a good universe.

There Will Be Brawl, Episode Four: Strange Bedfellows

There Will Be Brawl is a web series that creates--and then exposes--the seedy underbelly of well-known Nintendo characters with exceptional dedication and insane unpredictability. It's the entire internet in ten minutes. Minus the furries.

This series isn't supposed to be groundbreaking; it's supposed to wrap some established, childlike characters around the pillars of an established, adult genre. But here, it veers a bit into full-on parody. 

1,012 Word Brief Review of The Dark Knight Rises

I've been running late on this and I haven't felt much like writing lately, but here's a quick review of The Dark Knight Rises:

Mass Effect 3: What's Wrong with What's Wrong, Part 1

Alright, as you know the internet has been vocal in their dissatisfaction about the ending of Mass Effect 3:

Now, I like Red Letter Media too, but I don't really have the time to make a 20 minute homage to dissecting sub-par science fiction while addressing all of the things wrong with this particular litany of complaints. Despite having my own choice things to say about Mass Effect(here and here). However, to describe it as a travesty or simply whine because you don't get the--

--look, just put on your nerd hip-waders and read this thing.