Movie Trailers for May 2025

I'm Beginning to See the Light (May 2nd)

It seems like the literalism of the name would turn me off. Guy's family dies when he drives them into a lighthouse lens and then he...uh, stalks the lens and lives in the lighthouse with it. 

This is a romance by the way, but not with the lighthouse lens. Might have been more interesting because it's a romance with a lady and I couldn't care less if the isolated man in his darkest hour who reaches out to other isolated men in their darkest hour puts his dick in a lady. 

Also, I have to laugh that Yahtzee's man who "takes one too many lingering looks at his sexy wife and smacks straight into a truck" is the literal plot for this movie. 

 

The Surfer (May 2nd)

Between this and The Rule of Jenny Pen, I do wonder what I find intriguing about these films. The ephemeral nature of male efficacy and how our accomplishments are deceptively narrow? How the civilized, linear accomplishments of power and money aren't anything next to the primitive connections between humans with a small amount of power who can concoct their own self-serving reality? How scary John Lithgow would be if he ever played an Australian?

It looks like Nicholas Cage at his best, most-Nick Cagey-ness.

 

Bring Her Back (May 30th)

I make this in part because people are always saying that Hollywood doesn't make anything original when the fact of the matter is that rooted to your seat in front of your computer or TV or TV/phone, the only movies offered up to you by the churn of the marketing engine are remakes and reboots.

Inevitably, one of my friends say, "A24 makes good stuff, but they don't make that many movies." I call bullshit; A24 makes a lot of movies, like this shitty and obvious horror movie."

 

Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning (May 23rd)

I'm also surprised that the one big release movie I'm highlighting ISN'T Thunderbolts*.

I saw the first Mission Impossible movie in theaters, which makes me...old. I haven't watched the subsequent ones because they just didn't catch my interest. I felt like they were Tom Cruise-centric action films with one or two espionage setpieces.

So I have very little idea which of those clips are from old movies and which are from the new one. I recognized a few from the first films. The music kinda hits.

I'm not watching this one either, but I'd probably watch any of them if they were already on in the room that I was already in.

 

The Phoenician Scheme (May 30th)    

Directed by Wes Anderson? NOOOOOOOOOOOO... It couldn't be. It's got all those pastel palettes and the absolutely flat angles with an early 20th Century aesthetic. It couldn't possibly be Wes Anderson!

It looks good. 

 

Friendship  (May 23rd)

I'm not a huge fan of I Think You Should Leave, Tim Robinson's sketch comedy show. But I'm intrigued at him making a weird movie about male loneliness and friendship. 

When I put these together, I pull all of the trailers I can find, slap them into a schedule and then post and punch-up the ones for this month. Pulling all the trailers for this month, I'm seeing a real trend about male isolation. 

Friendship, obviously, as well as I'm Beginning to See the Light and to some extent The Surfer. 

 

Fight or Flight (May 9th)

No offense to Josh Hartnett, but this seems like a fun idea executed with zero charm in a trailer that gives the entire movie away. You know what movie had charm? Bullet Train.

Clown in a Cornfield (May 9th)

Final Destination: Bloodlines and A Breed Apart didn't make the cut, but looking at them, why are there so many horror movies in May? 

Would be interesting except for the "gen Z can't use rotary phones" bit, which is maybe funny, I'm just to poisoned by internet people shitting on previous generations to enjoy it. 

AND the "Gen-Z can't drive stick" bit? If that's where the creators' heads were at...I'm glad I didn't invest in this.

 

Tornado (May 30th)

I'm not as interested in martial arts or general Eastern media as much as my friends. I don't really see the samurai/western genre intersections that a lot of other people do, so none of that is a selling point for me. 

It just looks like a good execution on both genres. Not high art, but a good watch.

I'm also a big fan of Tim Roth, so...yeah.

 

Fountain of Youth

I don't need to cover the straight-to-apple-TV-starring-John-Krasinski-indana-jones-uncharted-laura-croft-davinci-code-they-blow-up-the-fountain-in-the-end movie. 

That's not even the trailer, that is David Attenborough narrating a video with millipedes, centipedes, and scorpions. It gets straight under my skin and it's worth more our time than that trailer.

 

Honorable Mentions

Murderbot

I read the books and I found them charming. I wouldn't have cast the Murderbot as the traditionally handsome Alexander Skarsgård, but if he can do it, why not?

Invisible Boys

Why am I sharing an Australian series on a network called "Stan"? It looks okay and for more than the obvious reasons, too. 

Movie Trailers for April 2025

Maybe it's because I'm making this two-thirds of the way through April instead of in March like I was supposed to, but there are so many interesting trailers this month. Enough to do a bit of a theme.

A Nice Indian Boy (April 4th)

Cute and interesting lil' gay movie. Gotta learn Karan Soni's name now. He's gotta be more than, "Dopinder" in Deadpool now. 

Really? "Dopinder"?

Whoof. That franchise really charmed it's way across some lines.

 

Movie Trailers for March 2025

I'm writing this one halfway through April, so it's gonna be quick and messy.

A Working Man

What happens when you feed Taken, $500,000, a batman villain, and the word "Jason Statham script" into an AI?

What I've Done

So, clearly, I love movies. I also love cheezy, broad music. It's what I am.

So what about the meme where folks set the ending scene/credits of a movie to Linkin Park's What I've Done? 

That is what we're doing today.

#10 

Honestly, the ending of Revenge of the Sith does not go hard enough. Yes, you have to hand it to George Lucas. Yes, the prequel trilogy was prescient, raising the twin specters of modern fascism and the sequel trilogy becoming relevant. 

That doesn't entitle it to What I've Done.

Movie Trailers for February 2025

It looks like, in skipping January, I only missed The Brutalist and Companion. No biggie. :|

Here's February.

Heart Eyes (February 7th)

Thank gods. Finally, a horror movie trailer set to a slow cover of a classic love song. 

Stab me first, please.

Looking back at 2024

Jesus christ, this year. Let's process it in the format of awards.

Great Wiki Award

Sarna.net - A great site. I should probably kick them a little money. Just a great resource for Battletech lore and tech when I don't need to open a book and fumble around inside of it for what I need.

Fandom.com -  This includes the Star Trek, American Dad, Cheers!, Babylon 5, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia wikis under its loathsome banner.

Wikipedia.com - The classic. A universal good I think we call take for granted. I should probably also kick them a little money.

And the winner is...Sarna.net. Apologies to Wikipedia, but I'm not kidding when I say I use Sarna, on average, every day.

The Chief Clancy Wiggum, "The Law is Powerless to Help You, not to Punish You" Award

Alito and The Supremes - Between a judge getting disciplined for speaking out about Alito's flag, Alito's flag, that secret recording of Alito, 

New York State - They put national guard on the subway and mobilized every cop in NYC for a CEO dying. If there's a clearer example of this award's title, I'm hard-pressed to think of it. They'll pull out all of the stops for a rich guy getting killed, but there's a soldier with a gun if you jump a turnstile.

Suicides and MRSA - One Boeing whistleblower, John Barnett, and one OpenAI whistleblower, Suchir Balaji, died this year apparently of suicides. Another, Boeing whistleblower, Joshua Dean, an otherwise healthy 45 year-old died suddenly of a MRSA infection. This is the kind of time where I'd like some security theater. Right here.

And the winner is...the entire United States Judicial Branch. 

Remember Donald Trump getting his bond reduced because he's a very special boy, you remember Judge Aileen Cannon giving Trump's team every accommodation and then making up a few extra accommodations for them? Remember Marcellus Williams not even getting a stay from a judge when the prosecutor, the victim's family, and maybe even the jury who convicted him wanted to reconsider DNA evidence and changes in testimony?

It's mostly the Supreme Court though. You were the last branch of government the average citizen respected. Congrats on achieving the level of arrogance necessary to completely squander that; you only had to keep your mouth shut while sitting on the most opaque court in the country, you morons. You fools.

Movie Trailers for December 2024

Mufasa: The Lion King (December 20th)

On the origins of monarchy. Do we need a prequel for everything? All that's important is that there was a monarch and then he was killed and we root for his son. 

And it's not Hamlet. Hamlet was very much about the moral repercussions of killing. Hamlet was in Claudius' court. Claudius didn't trick Hamlet into running away for the entirety of his youth. The plot of Hamlet was not 'Hamlet kills bad king and bangs Ophelia,' it's 'Hamlet isn't certain that his uncle/stepfather killed his father and his indecision dooms everyone.'

They do have one thing in common though: You don't need a prequel to tell the story of King Hamlet.