Cap Week: @#&^ Yeah, Captain America

Ye gods, yes fun. I mentioned the characters with only a few lines of dialog; those lines of dialog are packed with (admittedly simple) character and add a lot to the enjoyment of the movie. I’ve heard tell that there might be some flashbacks in a sequel. While I’m not a big fan of Cap as a solo act, the possibility of more multinational, multiethnic platoon of badasses does this fanboy thing where I completely forget that they’re essentially going to be potato chip content stretched to fill in the gaps of the terrible idea this is Captain America solo adventures.

Cap Week: The Main Event

The first thing I want to say about CA:tFA is that while I know it’s about a super-soldier bombarded with vita-rays who uses his indestructible shield to fight a super-Nazi with superpowers over a cube of infinite energy that fell out of Odin’s trophy room and who ends up harmlessly frozen in ice in the North Atlantic for seventy years, but…

Cap Week: Things to Come

It's CapWeek, the week I celebrate having witnessed the third live action movie about a guy who wears more stars than a kindergarten production of "The Solar System,"and punches more Nazis than is the standard by which punching Nazis is measured.

Yesterday—you know what happened yesterday. Read it again if you forgot.

When I left off yesterday, I had just settled in to watch the Captain America: The First Avenger…previews.

The Immortals is nice and shiny, but it somehow come across as over-produced. Between the sexy, hairless twentysomething cast, shouts for “freedom” in a setting where I can't imagine it being a really popular concept, and obvious wartime setting, it just seemed like a polished, formulaic film pushed in front of a populace hungry to eat up its sexuality, bloodshed, and toothless, affirmative ideology without reflection. That line didn’t start out to be insulting; while The Immortals looks like it will be very good at what it is, what it is is slightly more blatant about feeding a sickened, navel-gazing populace more cultural dessert through an NG tube instead of a good, goddamned nutritional meal you can taste, chew, and swallow.

Cap Week: Prelude

If there's one good thing I can say about Louisiana, it's that we sell booze in movie theaters. I don't know if other states do it, but by god, they should. At the very least, it's great for someone who sees movies and drinks at nine in the morning, and by that I mean someone who's actively attempting to live at a destructive frequency with civilization, and by that, I mean me.

Sadly, we suck at everything else, including how we serve liquor. The corner of the theater that serves liquor was presciently half-lit. This place was to be the most depressing alcoholery I’ve ever been to (well second; there was that time I went to a gay bar for middle-aged dudes).