The IT Crowd - A Fire at Sea Parks

 

"What are you gonna do, shoot me?" -Man shot

 

Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang is great.

Garnier Laboritoire

 

Superstore Cutaways

Archer

 I never knew the end of his rampage was from something. I should have known though.

Yelling at the Day Moon

After going through last summer where the sun stayed up after 8:00 and yelling at the 'Night Sun,' I relate to this on many levels.

The Bizarro

 

The Best Procedural on Television

 

There's a Beavis & Butthead Revival

 It's about as good as it ever was I guess.

Honestly, I was more of a fan of when they'd MST3K music videos.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelpha is bad...but also good?

 

Yes, Minister

I don't know how I didn't know about this series until now. 

The IT Crowd

 

Still a classic.

How to Make a Pimento Cheese Sandwich

What's that phrase, "Yaaas bitch. Give me nothing!" 

I don't even watch Better Call Saul, but I'm gonna miss it.

Brooklyn 99 Brainteaser

Brooklyn 99 is a great show. I didn't always watch it, but it's solid. One thing I do like is that all of the characters are supposed to be smart and deal with cool shit. The most famous moment is the Monty Hall episode, but I really enjoyed Holt's Islander Riddle.

If you don't want to watch the video, then here's the puzzle.

There are 12 men on an island. 11 weigh exactly the same amount, but one of them is slightly lighter or heaver. You must figure out which.

The island has no scales, but there is a see-saw. The exciting catch? You can only use it three times.

I stopped the episode and figured it out. It took a while but it was fun. 

August's Trailers

 Three Thousand  Years of Longing

Two words: Tilda Swinton. Let's DO EEET!

Samaritan

It's the story of a kid who realizes that their next door neighbor is the superhero who was supposed to be killed years ago. Starring Sylvester Stallone and on Amazon Prime.

There is no trailer for it, so you know it's a fuckin' train wreck. Let's gooo!

Bullet Train

Honestly, it just looks like fun. A guy is doing a shady thing and he's stuck on a Japanese bullet train. Why doesn't the United States have those? Republicans. That's the score, motherfuckers.

They/Them

I heard someone say this was either going to be a solid slasher or hate crime. That's...fair.

Dragon Ball Z Superhero

"Computer: Display a franchise more tortured than Star Wars."

Luck

It's an interesting concept. I mean, they gotta pump out CGI kids movies on the reg, so eventually they'll have to think of something original. I hope the Jack Sprat movie is good. It's weird that Bullet Train also has a luck element to it.

The Invitation

When I pull trailers by genre I have a good idea of what's going to make the cut A24's Bodies Bodies Bodies seemed like a shoo-in, but The Invitation beat it hands-down. Weird wedding stuff and vampires. I'll take that over live action Among Us.

Easter Sunday

A movie based on Filipino-American culture actually looks okay. As a European-American whitey and a former offshore worker who met a lot of Filipinos, I'm interested in this subculture and want to know more. I know a movie provides a heavily filtered version of that, but there's some data in there.

Darlings

What if Earl Had to Die crossed paths with 9 to 5? Also: Indian.

I can't really get excited about it because I have no idea what they're saying, but I assume Netflix will have some English subtitles.

Mack and Rita

In a description which sounds like hipster jackoff bullshit, the trailer actually looks good?

Also coming out in August:

Andor

She-Hulk

Archer season 13

Kevin Can Fuck Himself season 2

 

Danger 5

But then, there's a lot to be said about Australian comedy.

Even if it's probably 33% cocaine by word count.

Sandman is Coming

Look, I like a pale, wiry guy as much as the next gay. Probably more, now that I think about it. However, I never got into Sandman. I tried the book, but it seemed kind of...pretentious? Loose? Maybe there's an impressionist (dare I say 'dreamlike'?) quality to it that isn't to my taste. 

I don't like hard sci-fi as a rule, but I definitely prefer sci-fi over fantasy and I prefer my settings to have rules. What little I saw of Sandman seemed very much a style over setting affair. And also I remember some sexual assault which isn't a deal breaker for me on its own, but it was enough to put down a book I just wasn't into.

Yeah, it's a classic and Neal Gaiman is very talented and I probably just don't get it.

I like Preacher. That is my answer to that statement.

The Umbrella Academy Season 3

I enjoyed The Umbrella Academy comic book series enough that I was skeptical about the series.

I enjoyed The Umbrella Academy series' first season enough that I was skeptical about the second season.

I enjoyed The Umbrella Academy series' second season enough that I am still skeptical about the third season.

As always, I'm intrigued by the trailer in spite of myself. 

TUA should be the model folks look at when they're adapting comic books. Well, I guess the Marvel Cinematic Universe should be the model, but TUA should get a sidebar. It has only a passing symbolic resemblance to the original text, but it keeps the concepts and the tone. 

It feels the same without succumbing to idolatry...Star Trek.

We'll see on the 22nd.

The Orville: Season 3, aka New Horizons

Guess what comes out today? After three years. It's the third (and final) season of Seth MacFarlane's capable ode to Star Trek: The Next Generation, The Orville.

I think that The Orville 'grew its beard' in episode six, and that beard is a show that's slightly out of phase with TNG, much to my consternation.

Everything that tries to be TNG (including TNG movies) makes me feel like I've got Capgras Syndrome for TV shows; the same look and feel--the lunchbox iconography--but it's something different and hollow behind the eyes. 

I'll be the first to admit it's 50/50 me. Maybe everything trying to be TNG isn't just putting itself up against a TV show from 1987, but also against my own nostalgia. I feel that doing The Beige and The Bold was a good antidote for that. 

I do like shows in the same way I like TNG. But maybe they're better at being the show I imagined TNG was when I look back at it. 

That show is The Good Place, and describing it as "as good as TNG when viewed through nostalgia goggles," is the highest compliment I can think of. Accurate though.

I like The Orville, but I have remembered and forgotten it's coming out about six times since the release date was announced. Say what you will about them, but those Spotify ads work.

The Last Man on Earth

Man, falling in love is hard. No matter how minimalist someone acts, there are a hundred things that are required for them to open up, relax, and truly let a good thirty-minute comedy into their hearts. Community did that for me and in a move bolder than my character implies, I took the chance on Last Man On Earth.

Will Forte was a big help. I loved him on SNL and...yeah, okay, just SNL, but her was really, really good on it. I wanted to see more on him (just shy of watching MacGruber). I mean, he's another white guy at the center of a network show, but he can do the work.