Rule of Life #18

Rule of Life #19: Look Where You're Going

That's a tricky one. We aren't just creatures of the moment, but creatures of the future.

Our world awards people who stay the course. It loves stability. The child who's dreamt of being a teacher, who attends college for being a teacher, and spends decades as a teacher is a prized teacher indeed.

The dilettante who flits from profession to profession? They're less valued. The world wants to know who you are, what you want, and why you're here. It can't tolerate waiting for a few moments while you explain.

So the future, having a goal and working tirelessly towards it. That's what works. Keeping your eye on the horizon and making slow step after slow step towards it.

Also, y'know, it helps detect tripwires when you're in a dungeon.

Rule of Life #18

Rule of Life #18: Everyone is good at surviving until they aren't.

So I was in line behind this woman at Wal-Mart. She was pushing her mid-forties and maybe 250 lbs simultaneously. Her cart was full of the most useless upper-middle class crap a person could buy before they had to go to Whole Foods.

She was on her phone as we waited in line, "...but you know, I'm good at surviving," she said to her friend. I gave her a look of incredulity I save for people who "don't want that social justice crap in Star Trek." 

But then I thought for a moment and, yeah, it was undeniable. As she lived and breathed, she was good at surviving. Grizzly Adams bullshit notwithstanding, she was surviving. 

Of course, "surviving" implies overcoming obstacles, continuing on in despite of obstacles. I get that.

But this woman was surviving exactly as well as my 5' 8", seen-some-things-and-some-stuff-wouldn't-recommend-it ass has. Pretenses aside, I was doing no better than her. Probably worse, actually.

The corollary, naturally, is that the fall-off point is pretty sharp. When you quit surviving, it is a pronounced change of status.

Rule of Life #17

Rule #17: Skill unused does not exist.

As a guy who doesn't write more things than he writes, this one is pretty close to home. I've met a lot of folks who believe that they're pretty great at things they never fucking do.

The hard fact is that your potential, talent, and training mean nothing if you don't use it. It's nice that you've got those things, but where's the beef?

Rule of Life #16

Rule #16: Freedom is a paradox.

The assumption of freedom is that a person has at least two substantive^[1] options from which they can choose.

The thing is that even if you have ten options, you still choose only one. Even if you can synthesize a “both or more” option, priorities have to be set and you can't ever choose all options.

The paths not taken expose the oppresive paradox of linear time; yes, freedom and choice, but only one. Even the wisest of us can't know the eventual consequences of our every choice. I've had too many chance encounters to believe otherwise.

So obsessed are we that our fiction has desperately spawned the idea of multiple universes, which allow us to justify or bemoan our exercise of feedom up to this point. Fighting with our alternate selves tends to justify our decisions, because in the end there's nothing else we can do but accept them. Also, Home Universe Bias should totally be a thing.

Anyway, I'm just bitching because the broad vistas of all our futures have to be fed through the eye of the present's needle and I'm the sort of guy who always wants more.
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[1] "Substantive" because being beaten with black versus white billy clubs doesn't ring as "freedom," really.

Rule of Life #15

Rule #15: We only know through perception.

Cogito ergo sum is a bit of a no-brainer to include when describing paradigms of human existence, but its a good one. Even deduced information is drawn from data gathered through ordinary perception.

If Rule 14 is the “what you see is what you get; deal with it,” of existence, Rule 15 is the rider that says, “yeah, but you might just be a brain in a jar.”

Rules of Life #14

Rule #14: Illusion uninterrupted is no illusion.

Sometimes, people ask whether or not we exist in a simulation. It's a valid academic question, but I consider taking the questions raised by a mission to Mars or a survey of Io to be more important. Look, quantum computers and the limitations of the Universe's computational abilities are critical areas of knowledge, but...The Matrix isn't shutting down anytime soon.

Debating the nature of reality over a glass of Delightful Buzz Red might be a fine excuse, but it's not going to peel back the curtain.

Maybe it is all fake. Cool. Now bring back hard evidence, or else it just doesn't impact my life the way that fish-eating spiders do. The same largely applies to aliens, government conspiracies, and religion. They're all fine theories and I enjoy learning about them, but I don't take them any more seriously than this season of Doctor Who.

Okay, slightly less seriously than this season of Doctor Who.

So long as an illusion lacks any seams^[1], it isn't any less real than...reality^[2]. 

People work much the same way. Someone who is perfectly compassionate and empathetic, but always acts like a jerk is actually a jerk. Someone who's an asshole on the inside, but who is always kind, understanding, and helpful towards others is not an asshole. They're a person with asshole tendencies that rises above them every day. It's--y'know--

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[1] Any. At all. None. Zero. Zip. The Matrix's dejavous? Interrupted. Total illusion.

[2] For non-illusory universe. These non-illusory definitions get recursive real quickly.

Rules of Life #13

Rule #13: Change is death.

 
Change, like death, is inevitable. What is will not endure and whether what is to come is better or worse depends in some part on your actions.

It will probably be worse if you don't work to make it better.

Rules of Life #12

Rule #12: A prophet can't lose predicting disaster.

Speaks for itself. You might note that horoscopes neatly sidestep this by telling folks what they can or should do. No fatalistic predictions, just you failing to be exceptional enough so it's all your fault when the stars give you a once over.

obligatory

So, a good corollary might be, “If everyone gets angry at your disastrous predictions, predict it is their responsibility to prevent disaster.”

Of course, all of this assumes “prophets” can't really see the future.

If you are a prophet who can see the future, this is still helpful info because even the truth needs a good angle if you want people to believe it.

Rules of Life #11

Rule #11: To limit oneself with codes and honor is counter to achievement of anything but adherence to codes and honor.
Corollary: This includes The Rules of Life

My favorite long one. It's not a condemnation, The Rules of Life aren't meant to provide judgments (as if their milquetoast phrasing wasn't enough of a clue). Rule Eleven is more about giving a choice; getting shit done efficiently or guarding one's own morality. The two options are not always exclusive, but when they are, it happens quickly and time ensures that most of the thoughts we devote to the decision come after it is already made.

Rules of Life: #10

Rule #10: To control perception is to control.
Corollary: This is untrue.

Rule 14 covers this a lot better. Sometimes, y'all will see gaps in the Rules of Life. Some numbers get removed because they suck. Other gaps exist because of the lack of a single set of Rules early on. During that time, rules were added according to an Um numbering system, “This is um...Rule 35, right? 34 was the last one? I know we're in the thirties. Definitely.”

From here to the twenties there are one or two numbers, like ten, missing because they didn't stand the test of time and pithiness. After that, the gaps are usually from forgetfulness. Certainly, I can't remember which is which.

Rules of Life #09

Rule #9: No one can be known.

A social twist on my poor understanding of philosophical zombies goes something like this: there is no external difference between a real, thinking human in a social environment and a human which simply learns and mimics behaviors beneficial to them in a social environment. I don't mention it to insinuate that someone or anyone is a beast imitating mankind, but to show the ocean of vague qualities which comprise every real human person you've met.

Much as our own planet's oceans remain “mostly charted,” we're rarely privy to our own deepest trenches, much less that of others. Have you ever noticed how condescending people become once they think they have someone else all figured out.

Or hey, maybe that's just me.
 

Far more likely is that we think we have someone figured out. People go deep, even when it seems they don't. We like to believe tha tothers are something we can identify, type, and know the minute we see them. That's why racism and bigotry exist; believing every black teenager you meet is a dangerous criminal provides a weird kind of security because it comes bundled with a set of feel-safer actions which give the racist in question a sense of security and control in an otherwise unremarkable but potentially ambiguous social situation.

Even when we innocently write someone off as an idiot, it denies not just the fact that they have just lived every moment of their own lives—every second just as we have—but the truth that they've experienced these seconds. They've interpreted and emotionally reacted to them. They've connected them to earlier events and experiences. The lives of others aren't a series of energy exchanges occurring in a haze of visual agnosia, force applied, and chemical reactions taking place over a delta-t; they see and feel events just as we have done and they've done it and will do it far outside of the tiny window where we're around each other.

The thought that we could know someone else—really know them—should be a punchline, not a common assumption.

The Rules of Life #08

Rule #8: We don't want what we want

"You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true." Spock, "Amok Time"

The things that some of us strive for are not the things we're working towards. Others strive for something only to gain it and realize it is not what they desired. Time is cruel in that we never know until we've climbed the mountain if the view is worth the cost.

If life is the journey and not the destination, it's a good thing indeed. On the other hand, there's something to be said for loving the one you're with.

The Rules of Life #07

Rule #7: Trust compliments from enemies and criticism from friends.

Corollary: Regardless of the source, good advice is good advice.

Some things are hard to come by. People tend to spew compliments pretty easy as social lubricants. O'course, as soon as the chips are down, most of those same folks will vomit forth a lot of criticism. No judgments (okay, some judgments); people sit on a lot of toxic shit to make civilization work.

The result is that honest, compliments and objective criticism are hard to find. Now, friends can tell you all about your strengths and foes can monologue about your shortcomings. There's no rule against either one.

Once they each break type and start the real talk, it's worth listening though^[1].

The corollary is perhaps truer, if less useful. If advice is good, it's by definition worth taking. Odds are pretty good that if you could recognize a good idea as such, you'd want to use it anyway. But humans are humans and a reminder that the source shouldn't stand in the way is worth posting.

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[1] Always listen to your friends.

The Rules of Life: #06

Rule #6: If it's so interesting you can't look away, it's probably a diversion.

Man, another cynical little gem from a guy who lives with one foot out of his own life. It's true that maintaining a certain amount of situational awareness is important. Not becoming totally engrossed in every sensory experience does have some merits.

Maybe though--just occasionally, Kris--it is okay to really drink in a moment.

No, "The End of Time" does not count!

The Rules of Life: #05

Rule #5: Listen to your elders. Give them respect until they no longer deserve it and you don't have to give it to them.

Ugh. Not one of the better rules. It's wordy and clearly written after dealing with some elder person who spend their prime grinding dumbass points instead of actually learning anything worthwhile.

Instead of pretentiously meditating on this slow pitch Rule, can we talk about how great it is to blow off idiots who try to waste your time teaching you obvious shit, or their own facile world view? They're all, "What you gotta know about women--" and you can just get a cup of coffee and shuffle back to your room before they can even realize how little you care?

Like, they can't comprehend someone wouldn't give a shit about their speech even though they care so little about you as a person they don't even recognize you're 100% into this coffee and -7561% into their bullshit.

Yes, very aware of the irony.

The Rules of Life: #04

Rule #4: The universe does not recognize the impetus of success.

"Past Performance is no indicator of future success."

"What have you done for me lately?" is our slient universes's favorite question. We like to think that past vicotries count for something. that our work accumulates. Builds to a climax or a final, cathartic win.

It doesn't really.

About 3 days without water, 3 hours without heat, or 3 minutes without air and it's all gone. Sure, you climb up the social ladder a way, but but you only get back a fraction of what you give up.

Whether it's cold physics or a fickle society, you're always tossing pieces of yourself down a hole to get back scraps.

The Rules of Life: #03

Rule #3 People believe what they want to believe

This is probably the first of the really important rules. I like one and two. I repeat them to myself a lot, but three is just painfully true.

It's not the roots, but more like the lower trunk of Western intellect that's rooted in a form of science implied by priests reasoning backwards to make the natural world "prove" the existence of their god. The Scientific Method is built on that foundation even as it tries in vain to move past it.

That's how we bill the thing that will radically alter our civilization.

The ability to dispossess ourselves of what we want and admit truths we do not is an important part of a human cultural change that is even centuries after The Englightenment, still struggling to take hold.

Generally though, I express Rule Three with a shrug and a sigh. Nothin' I can do to help those who can't handle truth.

The Rules of Life: #02

Rule #2 A fallen object cannot fall.

Have you ever taken a pen and instead of laying it on its side, stood it up on its end? I have. It's not terribly efficient. It usually ends up on its side somewhere else and you can't be sure in advance which one or where.

Energy suffuses every system. If it doesn't, it's not much of a system. If that energy can be released, you should be aware of where and how.

If your system is deenergized, you'd also want to know.

It applies to folks too. I mean, a person's life can always sink a little bit lower, but generally speaking, you can only fall so far. After a certain point, there's simply nothing left to lose, materially, physically, personally. There comes a point at which people and systems hit rock bottom.
 
There's a lot of space above that too, and it can be a long, hard fall.

The Rules of Life: #01

The Rules of Life are something I've had since before I was at the Academy. I don't know when I started them or when I committed them to paper, but I do know that they've been a source of wisdom and amusement to me over many years.

I had originally thought I'd lost all copies of them, but when I was moving away from San Antonio I found some hard copies. It wasn't the full list I wrote in the inside of a textbook cover I gave to some friends over some long-forgotten leave, but it was rather comprehensive. I spent a few minutes in Los Angeles typing them up for posterity and I eventually sent the hard copies to a friend of mine.

I've always wanted to do a blog series on The Rules of Life--now, they're really more of guidelines, but marketing. No one's going to pay money for a blog series named "Some Guidelines of Life."

Rule #1: Plans relying on faith, luck, hope, and divine intervention aren't good plans.

You'll have to excuse me if most of these sound really obvious. Then again, it is alarming the number of plans that the average person will jump into, assuming that good fortune will carry them out.

I consider myself, despite everything else, to be a pretty lucky guy. That said, I tend to make plans that don't rely on what would be a plot contrivance in any other context to work.

Sure, I can take chances. I can even take calculated risks. Sometimes, the variables you need to shift around to preserve the rest of your operational parameters don't allow for absolute certainty. Those aren't good plans, but they're usually the best plans you have. Let their shittiness serve as proper inducement to explore other options before you proceed. At the very least, let it help you weight your planning for failure.