Hobbit 3 / Lord of the Rings -1: Battle of 4 2/2 Armies

Known in America as "These Motherfuckers Again: Plus Other Motherfuckers Again"

When we last left The Hobbit, Smaug was getting himself emotionally pumped for a busy night of burninating both the countryside, the villagers, and the thatched roof cottages of Lake Town. Because I've started playing Skyrim since this all started, my usual line-by-line commentary has been alloyed by my perspective as the Dovahkiin.

*Smaug burns down the village as the villagers scream.* "But it's a literally a Lake Town. Just...jump into the water villagers." "Fish shit in there!" screams one villager. "'e shits in there!" screams another, gesturing at the first. 

They burn to death and I cast heal with both hands as I walk through the fire, but not before looting their bodies to gain two bone meal.

I can see Tauriel looking up at Smaug as he strafes the village with fire again. His ability to both move and use a breath weapon makes him terrifying, especially for an archer. None the less, I can already see the finishing move where she surfs him into the bottom of the lake.

I can only assume it's called "Lake Town Lake," because that's how things are named here apparently.

Man of Steel Kris Notes

io9's Rob Bricken did a great job of talking about the most memorable parts of Man of Steel. Like him, I saw MOS and didn't particularly like it. I also took eight pages of notes as I watched it. I'd scan and post them, but I wrote them in the dark. In my own handwriting. And I called Jor-El "Luthor" a couple of times, which probably says a bit too much about my psychology. 

Anyway, in the tradition of The Hulk and Iron Man, enjoy Man of Steel Kris Notes

FYI: the notes are made during the movie. Italics are used to denote something that I penned in after seeing the whole film.

Timewalking Archive Trap: The Hulk: Kris Notes

Since I'm having a Review Week and it's 6-16, I thought I'd post a double-header of Marvel Comics movie reviews today.

Notes were taken inside the theater with other notes added later.

For no reason whatsoever, I give you large, green text

[Spoiler Alert]

Notes made as the movie was ongoing. 
Italics for thoughts added later.

The Incredible Hulk

-Does The Hulk say 'Hulk Smash' in the first movie?  
My friend Josh says 'no.'

Timewalking Archive Trap: Iron Man: Kris Notes

Because this week is Review Week and today is 6-16, I'm doing a double header of Marvel Comics movies for my Timewalking Archive Trap. The one for The Hulk will be up later today.

Great movies. It's strange, but I saw Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang on comedy central just a week before I went to see Iron Man and Hulk. It might have been the very first Robert Downy Jr. movie I've ever seen, and I'm glad that it was. Good, fun movie.

I paid $8.50 for both movies, and was pretty happy with that. Happy enough I spent $11.00 on a White Russian Daquiri and Iced Coffee after Iron Man, so I would be a little more awake and happy for what I thought would be a mediocre Hulk movie(what!? Unless it's World War Hulk, I'm just not into Hulk.)

I did, as is becoming habit, take notes throughout the films. It does take away from the movie, but then I haven't sat back and just enjoyed a movie for a while without nitpicking it, so I figured (around X-Men 3), that I might as well start taking my critique just a bit more seriously.