Matt Colville: On Being an Evil Character

PBS Spacetime: The Black Hole Bomb and Black Hole Civilizations

Lord Mandalore: Dark Wood

I like Lord Mandalore's style. Not always, but generally

Still alive

Work's been crazy and caught a bug going around and I've actually been working out a little which feels great and also been sleeping so much I need to schedule a doctor's visit about it.

I'll see if I can post more stuff, even small stuff, more often.

Anime Crimes Division, Season 2x01

It's not new; I just miss this show.

December's Trailers

September

I can’t recap movies from last month, but I will do a post-mortem on September’s movies. Having written my October post-mortems already and not knowing how any of these movies fared, I’m gonna back-to-back prediction and result for each one.

Honk for Jesus, Save Your Soul

Prediction: $12 million domestic, $1,000 international, and critical reception is good, but flawed (55/67).

Actual: $2.5 million. (71/26)  Really? It looked cute and kinda clever. I’m not surprised by the critic score. Maybe it just wasn’t the movie it looked like.

Clerks III

        Prediction: $6 million domestic, a ha’ penny WW, Tomatometer is -/43

        Actual: $4 million domestic, $75,000 WW. (64/93). The Tomatometer score is shocking. Hey, nerds! Ask your friends if this thing was good.

Barbarian

        Prediction: $25 million domestic, Tomatometer is 40/73

        Actual: $41 million. 92/71. Pretty close and very far.

The Silent Twins

        Prediction: $4 million domestic and total. Tomatometer is 63 because critics wanted to like it / 35

        Actual: 67/76. I guess folks actually liked it. That’s good. It looked good. It opened in 10% of the theaters as Barbarian, so I guess the $200,000 take is reasonable.

Bros

        Prediction: Too major a film to do sub-$10 million, but it’s mediocre and gay. $10 million, $1 million international. 55/23

        Actual: $12 million domestic actually, $3 million international. Pleasantly surprised. It also did 88/90, so…better than it seemed. Maybe I’m just…a mean gay.

Don’t Worry Darling

        Prediction: Too complex, but still big and sexy and tons of press. $100 million domestic. 65/65

        Actual: Heyhey, $87 million…worldwide. $45 million domestic. I guess it was pretty complex. 38/74 is a fuck-you rating if I’ve ever seen one. Hard pass.

The Woman King

        Prediction: $30 million, 83/63

        Actual: I really underestimated this movie’s success. $67 million domestic and $94 million worldwide. 94/99

Gigi and Nate - Gods, it sucks and I hope it failed.

        Prediction: $2,000,000 and 80/40

        Actual: FUck YEs! $2.3 million, 16/93. I was about as wrong as I could get on the Tomatometer, but I call a victory on the shit/good split.

Smile

        Prediction: $110 million WW. 63/75

        Actual: $105 million domestic, with another $110 worldwide. Folks like horror. 79/77 Dang. Maybe my dinosaur little brain will learn that anything that makes nine figures will be liked by its audience.

Land of Dreams

        Prediction: <$1 million, 87/75

        Actual: $42,000 international (but this was probably from a 2021 release), 86/- Tomatometer. Close, but given my Tomatometer scores so far, that’s probably just coincidence.

December

Hey, it’s the main event and I guess the best movies come out in December??? Who would have guessed?

Violent Night

Look, David Harbor is pretty hot right now and he’s jumping off the Stranger Things bus as it goes over the cliff. Violent Night looks fun and violent. I do worry about the fundamentals and it’s R-rated and if you’ve cast John Leguizamo as your thuggish, mercenary villain you don’t know how to use John Leguizamo.

$44 million domestically and $20 million internationally. It might charm its way past its flaws and no one else is going to lament the underutilization of John Leguizamo: 73/90.

The Whale

If the media push for this was any harder, I’d have to ask it to step outside. I mean, “Have you heard that Brendan Fraser is back? And he overcame all of that adversity? That adversity didn’t keep him from killing it in three seasons of The Doom Patrol.

I’m not saying he hasn’t had it hard; I’m saying maybe don’t root for this movie because you think Brendan Fraser needs a win. Maybe just want a movie to be popular and well-liked because it’s a good movie. And The Whale looks good (from what little we actually have to go on).

$15 million domestic, $23 million worldwide. Tomatometer score will be Peter Griffin clapping at the end of Autumn’s Piano / 87

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Yeah.

It’s the cat from Shrek in his own spinoff. Of course Selma Hayek is also in it.

$110 million because I don’t see another family movie on the list.

Avatar: The Way of Water

No, I mean a real family movie.

The Inspection

There is a propensity for sad guys in this list. Don’t blame me; blame Hollywood for loading up the end of this year with depressed homosexual men. Actually, you can blame me a little bit for that one.

After writing this and narrowing down the list I realized that The Inspection actually came out in November, made a little more than my annual pay working offshore, and got thoroughly sucked off by Rotten Tomatoes with 82/100.

Babylon

Oh, it’s sadder than it looks, and at

Three.

Hours.

Long.

No one watching it for the titillation factor of all the boobs in the trailer is going to stick it out. They have boobs on the internet now.

It may be a fascinating, intense movie but I think that like the Hollywood it’s depicting, the image of excess and glitz it portrays is probably going to hook in a lot of unsuspecting peeps who aren’t prepared for the greyer, less pleasant realities.

It’s releasing two days before Christmas, it’s gotta be rated R, and it’s three hours long.

$60 million worldwide. $75 million if even one of those boobs belongs to Margot Robbie. 90/73

I Wanna Dance With Somebody

A Whitney Houston biopic that seems to feature the mismanagement of her money by her father. I don’t know a damned thing about Whitney Houston except for the domestic abuse and drug abuse, neither of which are mentioned in the trailer.

But clearly, as many biopics have claimed in the past, I don’t know the whole story.

It’s not yet rated, so I don’t know if they toned down either of the two things I know about Whitney Houston, but I don’t imagine it being a big family film for Christmas??? What Whitney Houston big overseas?

$40 million domestic, $20 international. 80/85. The movie will probably be solid overall, but fans of Whitney Houston will probably love it.

Empire of Light

Olivia Coleman Stop Being in Damned Good Movies Challenge (Impossible)

$3

Renegades

This is one of the worst movies I’ll ever go over to a friend’s house to watch. It looks like if predictive text made a movie starting with the phrase “Danny Trejo $900,000 script.”

It’s only on Apple+ so Tomatometer 53/67.

Spoiler Alert

I assume the title is because it’s Jim Parsons and they want to at least nod to the nerdity. I’ve always hated The Big Bang Theory, but I’m glad Jim Parsons is playing a gay man, even if I feel he’s a bit old for this role. That said, it feels very real from the trailer and while nobody wants to watch a movie where you once again bury your gays–I’d say “spoiler alert,” but I already did–it’s based on a memoir and seems authentic.

I don’t care what it makes; I might actually go see this one.

October

Amsterdam pulled in $29 million worldwide, $15 million domestically. I guessed $10-15 million, but I didn’t specify US or worldwide. That said, I’m kinda proud. Production budget was $80 million, so it did not break even.

That Korean movie, Project Wolf Hunting, only netted $3.4 million. You know I’m trying to save face when I break out the decimals: slightly shy of the $225 I estimated.

Look, I got lucky with Amsterdam. Let’s admit that before I embarrass myself.

Armageddon Time. Whoops too late. $4.01 million out of the $50 million I suggested. With a budget of $16 million that’s got to hurt.

Not as much as Call Jane though. 1. One single million dollars. I was perhaps wrongest about that one and let’s leave it at that. I’m calibrating, okay?

Detective Knight: Rogue has no numbers, as I expected BUT it does have something I didn’t expect. I thought it was a shoveled out affair where Bruce Willis shows up for one day of shooting and the producers stretch a movie out of that. I’m not too proud to admit that I was wrong. As the first movie in the Detective Knight Trilogy, that one day of shooting was stretched into 3 movies.

I’m checking these numbers as I write this so let me swing around and to the Halloween movie(s) before I finish with our (presumably) big winners.

Halloween: Another Bloody One. I’m beginning to think I copy/pasted $50 million as a placeholder and never made actual guesses. HABO made $105 million. I really thought I guessed some Rotten Tomatoes scores. I should definitely do that for movies which don’t have public take-ins.

Hellraiser: That Predator Movie Sure Was Successful Wasn’t It? Compared to The School for Good and Evil’s 38/67 Tomatometer score, 66/59 looks good. Not great, but better. I’d have guessed 40/53, but then I always assume critics will hate horror films way more than fans.

Ticket to Paradise raked in $63 million domestically versus the $75 I suggested and $100 million globally. I guess George Clooney and Julia Roberts still got it.

Two months ago, I compared the DCEU to a coked-up honey badger and threw out $450 million. Black Adam grossed $371 million worldwide. I said some shit, but I didn’t expect it to actually be bad. With a 39/89 Rotten Tomatoes score, I actually don’t know if it’s bad or just made for DECU fans.

Okay, it’s bad.

Best of the Worst

These guys watch some terrible movies.

You Know I'm Kidding: Here's the Real One

The Alpha Strike Campaign: Cyclops CP-11-C-C

 So I'm doing an Alpha Strike campaign. I have, of course, chosen Word of Blake, but we're doing Civil War era so I can't have any of the Blakey-Blakist stuff. We were allowed to use 2 customs out of 12 'mechs, so in addition to the Jester Exterminator, I've modified a Cyclops to carry C3i and maybe some nice Clanny weapons (even if every one of those weapons is a bit of a stretch).

And double heat sinks because c'mon! It's 3077!

Cyclops CP-11-C-C

Mass: 90 tons
Chassis: Standard Biped
Power Plant: 360 Fusion
Cruising Speed: 43.2 kph
Maximum Speed: 64.8 kph
Jump Jets: None
     Jump Capacity: 0 meters
Armor: Standard
Armament:
     2 Heavy Medium Laser
     2 ATM 3
     1 Gauss Rifle
     1 TAG
Manufacturer: Unknown
     Primary Factory: Unknown
Communication System: Unknown
Targeting & Tracking System: Unknown
Introduction Year: 3077
Tech Rating/Availability: F/X-X-F-X
Cost: 11,514,760 C-bills

It Is Time (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

Morning Perfect Base: STT Season 1, Part 1

via IFTTT

Nostalgia

Mercury System V: Panmechs

I initially posted all of these together with a to-do of adding example 'mechs made with those rules. I knew that including example 'mechs was important, but I didn't really play my hand that way. Each custom 'mech requires some discussion and review. Enough to make each rules system into its own post.

Cold Reading

Mercury System IV: Multimechs

I initially posted all of these together with a to-do of adding example 'mechs made with those rules. I knew that including example 'mechs was important, but I didn't really play my hand that way. Each custom 'mech requires some discussion and review. Enough to make each rules system into its own post.

WKUK: Gallon of PCP

Mercury System III: Versamechs

April, 3044
“Thank you. I’m glad to be here at the…Hobbyist Battlemech Society. Please forgive me for my lack of visual aids, but as many of you know I’ve been traveling quite a bit to demonstrate these new systems. I believe that these systems will, if they receive sufficient interest and investment, can create a new generation of battlemechs, a generation in which each unit can perform the roles of multiple mechs, perhaps every other ‘mech.

“Because this hotel–this venue–doesn’t have the facilities to demonstrate the prototypes we’ve created, I only came here with a visual demonstration. Uh, unfortunately, I believe that my data was corrupted on the way over.

“So let me do this with just my words. A lance of Vindicators today will be a lance of Vindicators tomorrow. With these new systems, these Everymechs could act as a lance of Catapults, a lance of Spiders, or even a lance of Atlases.

“These three systems all share similar basic engineering principles…”

WKUK: Hot Dogs

Battlemech Equipment Survey: Round 4

The Battlemech Equipment Survey is an ongoing, swiss-style tournament which pits equipment for Battlemechs against one another. I like brackets and tournaments and I don't know a lot of the new Battletech equipment so it's a great opportunity to get familiar with a lot of it.

Surveys below. The listed matchups aren't the only ones in the survey; just the most eye-catching ones. I've also included the 'mechs I've made which use the included technologies. Surveys close Friday evening. 

The swiss bracket is doing its job. It's separating good equipment and bad into tight matchups. I might just be in a funk, but that last round of tight matchups between equally irrelevant equipment failed to inspire. As of right now it's sitting at 8 votes and I don't blame anyone.

I like a lot of the write-ups I've done here. I think Mother & Monitors is a bit 'bleh.' The rest are written to as to have been lost to history, which makes them feel a bit one-note. 3087 it's not.

Round 4, Survey 1 - Gauss Rifles versus Omnimech Technology, feat the Risccing, a RISC test platform omnimech carrying a variety of gauss weapons.

Round 4, Survey 2 - Streak SRMs versus all other special missile munitions, feat the Superchoad, a rebuild of Round 2's Maquess after it was fielded, defeated, and salvaged.

Round 4, Survey 3 - Cruise Missiles versus the Light Probe, feat the Paradigm, or at least a recreation of the allegedly groundbreaking 'mech whose original model and inventor were destroyed in the opening salvos of The Jihad. It was simply a few advanced technologies and a set of two completely unique 'mechs created by a talented Periphery engineer with pirate connections. No mystery at all.

Round 4, Survey 4 - Nuclear Weapons versus Triple Strength Myomer, feat Mother and Monitors, a control 'mech and two drones which patrol a vacuum world occasionally torn by storms.

Round 4, Survey 5 - ATMs vs MMLs, feat Neuron, a Raven variant commissioned by The Society around the same time as the Capellans' own RVN-4LC. Not pictured are variants with the MML 7 swapped for iATM9 or the Streak LRM 10 and the NARC Beacon swapped for an iATM3 or Streak LRM 5.

Round 4, Survey 6 -Single Heat Sinks versus...Rifles?, feat Bubblewrap, an undocumented, unnamed, jury-rigged ultralight outfitted with Rocket Launchers that saw one battle against oppressors on a Periphery world.

Still working on the nation interaction game and the Mercury System and the Battlemech Engineer's Handbook.

And the Bookclub on the Edge of Forever. And a vacation next week. And doing something for the patreons and Morning Perfect Base and The Based Report.

And playing Alpha Strike and hammering out a simple Alpha Strike campaign system and doing dishes and doing laundry--oh crap I didn't do laundry.

WKUK: Old Folks Home

Morning Perfect Base: The Star Wars Curse

via IFTTT

The Mercury System, Pt II

A few weeks back I talked about making a new, worse, more-restrictive, version of omnimechs. Points:

-I wanted them to have construction-level costs

-I wanted pod restrictions

-I threw in at the last minute that I wanted pod weight penalties

The hardpoint system borrowed from the Battletech video games seemed like a good answer. How else do you restrict omnimech loadouts?

Terms

First, lets define some terms. 

'Mechs using the Mercury System are not omnimechs, but we will use 'omnimechs' to describe them for simplicity. "Mercury-type omnimechs" would probably be the most accurate phrase, but we won't worry about that right now.

Traditional omnimechs have "pod space," the tonnage and unused crits into which new equipment can be installed. Those pieces of equipment are called "pods." Pods used on traditional omnimechs are nearly identical to those same pieces of equipment which aren't pods ("pod-mounted"). In the Mercury System, pods will differ from non-pod equipment in some way.

In the Mercury System, we'll be using the concept of hardpoints, which are tonnages and crits that are subdivisions of pod space. They will still mount pods, but they will have restrictions on the pods they can mount. 

WKUK: Moon Bears

 I'm not a fan of the sketch comedy group, The Whitest Kids U Know, but I don't hate them either.

S'months, S'movies: October 2022

September

I really missed some stuff last time. Spirit Halloween: The Movie? Jeepers Creepers: Reborn? The Infernal Machine? The delicious irony of a special event showing of a film called "Superspreader"?

Maybe that stuff wasn't announced a week before the month they came out. That Reboot (2022) Trailer finally came out.

I haven't watched any of the movies I noted were coming out this month (some still haven't come out). The only one that's made a cultural splash has been Don't Worry, Darling and that was only because of something about Harry Styles and spitting. 

I do not wish to know, but here's an interview where he describes it as being a movie while press junket veteran Chris Pine lets him twist in the wind. https://youtu.be/67haessFQ44?t=344

(And yes, it only takes a little bit of listening to understand what he's actually trying to say here)

Also, The Woman King has gotten passed around the social media sphere because it has black people in it and women in it, so it's gonna get that kind of attention at the very least.

Related: I just found this trailer, which was a fun little surprise: https://youtu.be/zUqIv5PvbGk

Thanks as always to The Numbers.com and Rotten Tomatoes for comprehensive lists of upcoming media.

October

This is my third month doing this, so I'll also be looking back at the first round of movies to see if any predictions I made about them came true.

Level of Concern by 21 Pilots

For someone who doesn't consider themselves 'a fan' of 21 Pilots or Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, I do listen to quite a bit of their stuff.

Hive Missiles (HiM)

In studying missiles to get the missile equations down, I had to look at the Cluster Hits Table several times. Like, 8. It sucked.

I hate the Cluster Hits Table. In the words of Madeleine Wool, "That's inelegant."

It's also weird how SRMs land with each missile hitting a different location and LRMs land in groups of 5. Even if they're using Dead Fire Missiles. Every missile in the Inner Sphere--even the Clans' Advanced Tactical Missiles--land in groups of five.

Thunderbolts don't count!

So the Hive Missile, which doesn't use the Cluster Hits Table and lands in groups of six.

Name Size Dmg/Msl ClSize  MinR  SR  MR  LR  Tons Crits Heat  Shots/Ton

HiM    6   1/msl   C6      3     6  12  18   3.0  1     2      22

HiM   12   1/msl   C6      3     6  12  18   5.5  2     4      11

HiM   18   1/msl   C6      3     6  12  18   8.5  4     6       7

HiM   24   1/msl   C6      3     6  12  18  11.0  5     8       5

HiM   30   1/msl   C6      3     6  12  18  14.0  6     9       4

HiM   36   1/msl   C6      3     6  12  18  16.5  1    11       3   

When rolling to see how many missiles hit, you just roll some D6's.

HiM 6 - Roll 1D6. A number of missiles hit equal to

The result.

HiM 12 - Roll a large 1D6 and a small 1D6. A number of missiles hit equal to 

[The large die result / 3 (round up) - 1 ] * 6 + the small die result.

HiM 18 - Roll a large 1D6 and a small 1D6. A number of missiles hit equal to 

[The large die result / 2 (round up) -1 ] * 6 + the small die result.

HiM 24 - Roll a large 1D6 and a small 1D6. A number of missiles hit equal to 

[The large die result (reroll 5's and 6's) -1 ] * 6 + the small die result.

HiM 30 - Roll a large 1D6 and a small 1D6. A number of missiles hit equal to 

[The large die result (reroll 6's) -1 ] * 6 + the small die result.

HiM 36 - Roll a large 1D6 and a small 1D6. A number of missiles hit equal to 

[The large die result -1 ] * 6 + the small die result.

Alternatively, you can roll 1D6 and multiply by the rack size/6. It's disappointing when your HiM 36 only does 6 damage, but them's the breaks.

AMS and AMS-like systems which reduce cluster rolls will divide their maluses to each die. Round down for the large die and round up for the small die. (Rounding negative numbers is done according to nearness to zero, not magnitude...-1.4 rounds up to -2)

100 Bad Days by AJR

I just like 'em. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Mercury System

It's been a crazy week. Not so crazy I can't  type a few stupid words. That's on me.

Let me talk about the Mercury System.

Actually, let me whinge about omni-mechs. I love 'em. I think they're a great idea. They're stupid and bad, too.

Free carry capacity for battle armor, the ability to swap out micro lasers for a gauss rifle at no real cost, and ease of repair more than offset the logistical and monetary costs of making them. Can't have a big gun in an arm and still punch with it.

And because each one is mostly a tonnage, movement profile, and armor level they don't have as much 'character' as conventional Battlemechs. Even if the Catapult is just an Archer with jump jets and smaller missile racks, it still feels like its own 'mech with its own identity. Omnis are chameleons with none of their own personality.

If you read this blog regularly, and that's just one person, you probably know I like fewer, distinct options instead of a flood of similar or slightly-different options. "Soup" I call it. Omnimechs are like soup, but they also promise a battlefield of fewer, distinct units.

Wherefore: The Mercury System

Torn by EDNASWAP

I love the more popular version, but I really like this one too.

Riot Rhythm by Sleigh Bells

Remember when Tuesday Videos were about music?

30 Minutes of the POTUS

September's Trailers

It was a stretch to find 10 trailers this month. I guess September is really about the television (I've got TV stuff at the bottom).

Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. (September 2nd)

I like that we don't even know what scandal it is they're recovering from, but from Sterling K. Brown's character, it could be anything. It looks like he does a high energy, barely-on-the-leash character who nonetheless knows how to use that. 

He's carrying all the protagonist weight, so Regina Hall gets to do character stuff in his world. I know almost nothing about the story but I'm intrigued. Watch it while doing dishes and get pulled in out of ten. 

Dale Gribble fires Gladstone

Star Trek: Sisko

What if Patrick Stewart was unavailable and CBS All-Access made a show about Benjamin Sisko instead?

Scene I

A woman named Dahj is with her boyfriend when mooks beam in and attack her. Her boyfriend is killed because he’s a witness even though the attackers were literally in charge of Earth’s security and could have attacked her at any time and not left a Xahean family asking questions about their missing son or even beamed her into an unmarked panel van in low Earth orbit.

Dahj kills the mooks who were unprepared for the corner-case of Dahj resisting. She has a vision of Benjamin Sisko.

Scene II

Dahj finds Benjamin Sisko on vacation at Sisko’s in New Orleans. Even though Starfleet has framed her for her boyfriend’s murder and she’s a wanted woman, all Ben Sisko sees is scared a young woman with no family. While she’s not his daughter, she’s someone’s daughter and Sisko isn’t about to let a kid be alone and scared in this world.

Cyanide and Happiness - Free Shirts!

Such a weird, good series.

Battlemech Equipment Survey: Round 3

It's weird I've stuck with this for so long. The Battlemech Equipment Survey is an ongoing, swiss-style tournament which pits equipment for BattleMechs against one another. 

I like brackets and tournaments and I don't know a lot of the new BattleTech equipment so it's a great opportunity to get familiar with a lot of it.

Surveys below. The listed matchups aren't the only ones in the survey; just the best ones. I've also included the 'mechs I've made which use the included technologies.

Surveys close Friday evening.

Round 3, Survey 1 - Thunderbolt Launchers versus Light Gauss Rifle, feat the Armstalker, an absolutely mad FrankenMech.

Round 3, Survey 2 - Targeting Computers versus Superchargers, feat Cobra IIC 3 and some stuff about how Jade Falcons are mysteriously upgrading salvaged Cobras.

Round 3, Survey 3 - Chain Whip versus Flail, feat Bear Mace, a refit of an Ebony designed as part of Republic of Sphere psyops. as part of ongoing fanon 'mech design company, Vard Modeling

Round 3, Survey 4 - Land-Air Mechs versus Composite Structure, feat Plug, which, looking back, makes me realize I should occasionally bite the bullet and just make a 'mech 100 tons instead of hitting 95 and telling myself I'm exercising restraint. A FrankenMech pressed into service by Vard Modeling.

Round 3, Survey 5 - Direct Neural Interfaces versus Re-Engineered Lasers, feat Manicouagan, hardened-armored, quad, assault-class vaporware presented in my best approximation of monorail salesman Lyle Lanley to the citizens of the Inner Sphere in the wake of The Republic's collapse.

Round 3, Survey 6 -AP Gauss [Clan] versus Rocket Launchers, feat Fearful Intarsia, which is what would happen if an alcoholic Clan commander gets tired of an insurgency and rings a tech up at 11PM to fix it.

Rick and Morty Season 6 Trailer

I really enjoy Rick and Morty because I expect nothing from it aside from a few good jokes, engaging setpiece fights, and an occasionally stupid thing that's hilarious.

I don't get the concern over canon, personally. So Evil Morty did whatever with the thingamajig. I don't really care about that or whatever Rick's emotional journey is. He keeps learning valuable life lessons and also continues to be a dick. Is it even 'our' Rick? Does it matter? 

Rick's entire nihilistic outlook is that that are dozens, thousands, millions? of Ricks and Mortys havin' cool adventures all the time and that's all I'm here for.

That and Summer doing a Die Hard.

How to Make a Pimento Cheese Sandwich

What's that phrase, "Yaaas bitch. Give me nothing!" 

I don't even watch Better Call Saul, but I'm gonna miss it.

The BattleMech Engineer's Handbook

It's no surprise I like reverse-engineering Battletech equipment. I like the smooth numbers and limited weapons array of Battletech. That's part of its appeal for me. But I also like the granularity.

In the past few weeks, I've been ramming some numbers into a composition book. 'Mech structure tonnages, cargo carrying rules, gyro concepts. At its core, Battletech works on engineering and science created by a layperson of the 1980's to make a game about giant stompy robots. The abstractions in the system protect it.

But you can get less abstract. You can change some of the simplistic assumptions. You can ask some questions.

Why is the gryo for a 30 ton 'mech with 7 WMP the same as for a 30 ton 'mech with 10 WMP?

What happens if your engine is bigger than necessary?

If a 50-ton 'mech can carry 50 tons of cargo, why can't it just be a 100-ton 'mech? If a 50-ton mech with active TSM can carry 100 tons...what?

Jump jets are fucked up, right?

If I upgrade my myomers with MASC to make me run faster, I can break my legs. If I upgrade my engine with a Supercharger to run faster, I can break my engine. Why isn't that the other way around? If my speed is limited by my myomers and engine, then why don't better myomers tax my engine and a better engine tax my myomers?

Why does an Atlas freeze into a warehouse shelf the minute you add 5 tons to it? Not as cargo--because it can carry 100 tons of cargo just fine--but as a part of the battlemech?

I've got most of the rules written down. The rest of the BEH is just testing, rules, in-universe fluff, and writer's notes. Maybe some sketches.

Delays

 Ugh. More life changes. More podcasts. Have a few things planned.

Brooklyn 99 Brainteaser

Brooklyn 99 is a great show. I didn't always watch it, but it's solid. One thing I do like is that all of the characters are supposed to be smart and deal with cool shit. The most famous moment is the Monty Hall episode, but I really enjoyed Holt's Islander Riddle.

If you don't want to watch the video, then here's the puzzle.

There are 12 men on an island. 11 weigh exactly the same amount, but one of them is slightly lighter or heaver. You must figure out which.

The island has no scales, but there is a see-saw. The exciting catch? You can only use it three times.

I stopped the episode and figured it out. It took a while but it was fun. 

August's Trailers

 Three Thousand  Years of Longing

Two words: Tilda Swinton. Let's DO EEET!

Samaritan

It's the story of a kid who realizes that their next door neighbor is the superhero who was supposed to be killed years ago. Starring Sylvester Stallone and on Amazon Prime.

There is no trailer for it, so you know it's a fuckin' train wreck. Let's gooo!

Bullet Train

Honestly, it just looks like fun. A guy is doing a shady thing and he's stuck on a Japanese bullet train. Why doesn't the United States have those? Republicans. That's the score, motherfuckers.

They/Them

I heard someone say this was either going to be a solid slasher or hate crime. That's...fair.

Dragon Ball Z Superhero

"Computer: Display a franchise more tortured than Star Wars."

Luck

It's an interesting concept. I mean, they gotta pump out CGI kids movies on the reg, so eventually they'll have to think of something original. I hope the Jack Sprat movie is good. It's weird that Bullet Train also has a luck element to it.

The Invitation

When I pull trailers by genre I have a good idea of what's going to make the cut A24's Bodies Bodies Bodies seemed like a shoo-in, but The Invitation beat it hands-down. Weird wedding stuff and vampires. I'll take that over live action Among Us.

Easter Sunday

A movie based on Filipino-American culture actually looks okay. As a European-American whitey and a former offshore worker who met a lot of Filipinos, I'm interested in this subculture and want to know more. I know a movie provides a heavily filtered version of that, but there's some data in there.

Darlings

What if Earl Had to Die crossed paths with 9 to 5? Also: Indian.

I can't really get excited about it because I have no idea what they're saying, but I assume Netflix will have some English subtitles.

Mack and Rita

In a description which sounds like hipster jackoff bullshit, the trailer actually looks good?

Also coming out in August:

Andor

She-Hulk

Archer season 13

Kevin Can Fuck Himself season 2

 

Scottish Humor

I love this short little bit.

New Missiles

I've run out of gas on creating missile systems. I've just looked too far into the abyss. They're all the same. So I'm just going to remake the ones I posted a few weeks ago.

Null-Signal Missiles -  How many ways can you say "dead-fire" or "unguided"? Lots, I suppose. Shit-ass rockets are a type. These feel more like reloadable rocket launchers than last week's iRLs.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

NSM     12    2    2    -    3     5     8   +1   -2    0.5    5    8    15
NSM     17    2    2    -    3     5     8   +1   -2    1.0    5   10    18
NSM     22    2    2    -    3     5     8   +1   -2    1.0   12   14     8

Proximate Range Missiles - Is a one-ton system that deals 12 damage out to 6 hexes too strong? Probably. We also see the gears grind a bit as we get lots of tubes and small cluster malus. It's hard to account for stuff like that since the cluster mod uses an average value and doesn't really calculate the swing between many small missiles and a few larger ones.

Heavy Medium Lasers deal 10 damage per ton. The NSM 30 isn't quite that good. It actually generates more heat and requires more tonnage on account of ammunition. I feel it's too much though.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

PRM     12    1    6    -    2     4     6   -1   -1    1.0    2    4    44
PRM     18    1    6    -    2     4     6   -1   -1    2.0    4    6    29
PRM     24    1    6    -    2     4     6   -1   -1    2.5    5    8   22
PRM     30    1    6    -    2     4     6   -1   -1    3.5    6    9  17

Boosted SRM - That to-hit penalty is probably too steep. It's another way to absolutely slam crits into an enemy. It's a lot tubes per ton, that's for sure.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

BSRM     3    1    1    -    1     4     9   +2   +2    0.5    1    1    85
BSRM     6    1    1    -    1     4     9   +2   +2    1.0    1    2    42
BSRM     9    1    1    -    1     4     9   +2   +2    1.5    2    3    28
BSRM    12    1    1    -    1     4     9   +2   +2    2.0    2    4    21

Light LRM - LRMs can't do less damage per missile, but they can have more spread. I've also made it a Clan system and halved the weight. I'm sure making a system into a clan system is more involved than that, but this is just spitballs.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

LLRM     5    1    1    -    5    10    15    0   +1    1.0    1    2    11
LLRM    10    1    1    -    5    10    15    0   +1    2.0    2    4     5
LLRM    15    1    1    -    5    10    15    0   +1    3.5    3    5     3
LLRM    20    1    1    -    5    10    15    0   +1    4.5    5    7     2

Nightquest - Not every system is good. The ones I post tend to be normal to too-good, so here's an objectively bad system: the nightquest. Sure, 5 damage per missile bypasses a lot of the cluster roll shenanigans, but is doing 10 damage at 37 hexes worth 42 tons? Of course not. Fuck this thing.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

NQt      1    5    5    8   10    20    37   -1    0   37.0    1    3     5
NQt      2    5    5    8   10    20    37   -1    0   42.0    2    4     2
NQt      3    5    5    8   10    20    37   -1    0   63.0    3    5     1
NQt      4    5    5    8   10    20    37   -1    0   84.5    5    7     1

Missile Equations: Finale, Pt II

Me: "This blog has text in it. Must be ready to ship."

This is just a list of some test missile systems with feedback. All of the ones listed here are variations on a theme: LRMs with one extra damage per missile. SRMs that only deal one damage. Reloadable Rocket Launchers. 

Next week I'll be doing more esoteric missiles, hopefully with input from the comments and possibly Reddit's r/Battletech sub.

Short LRMs - These are LRM systems with the range of SRMs. These seem fair. Sure, an S-LRM5 does more damage than an SRM 2, but it's just a shit medium laser. Compared to stacked medium lasers, they definitely lose out.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

S-LRM5   5    1    5    -    3     6     9    0    0    1.0    1    2    63
S-LRM10 10    1    5    -    3     6     9    0    0    2.5    2    4    31
S-LRM15 15    1    5    -    3     6     9    0    0    4.0    3    5    21
S-LRM20 20    1    5    -    3     6     9    0    0    5.5    5    7   15

Long SRMs - SRMs with the range of an LRM. A cluster version of an LRM 20 comes in pretty close to the original article.Terrible ammo efficiency though. I'm sure if you could peel off armor at a decent enough range, these would be nice. Might also be good for trying to score crits on vees at a distance. Maybe a poor man's HAG?

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

LSRM2    2    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    1.5    1    2    19
LSRM3    3    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    2.5    1    2    12
LSRM4    4    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    3.5    1    3    9
LSRM5    5    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    4.5    2    4    7
LSRM6    6    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    5.5    2    4    6
LSRM7    7    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    6.5    3    5    5
LSRM8    8    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    7.5    4    6    4
LSRM9    9    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    8.0    4    6    4
LSRM10  10    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    9.0    5    7    3

LBMs - If we can fire off missiles at any range with a -1 to-hit and clusters of one damage, do we create missiles better than LBX autocannons? Versatility and ammo efficiency aside? Yes we do. The LBM is "invalid" because it just doesn't have any crits. That's usually a hard stop.

But y'know, versatility is one of the big draws of LBX autocannons, so maybe it is fair.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

LBM2     5    1    1    4    9    18    27   -1    0    4.5    0    1    28
LBM5    10    1    1    3    8    14    21   -1    0    4.5    1    2    12
LBM10   15    1    1    -    6    12    18   -1    0    6.5    2    4     5
LBM20   20    1    1    -    4     8    12   -1    0    7.5    5    7    3

Heavy SRMs - What is SRMs did 3 damage per missile instead of 2? They're heavier. Comparable to streak missiles, really. The loss of ammo efficiency isn't bad. It's probably an asset.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

HSRM2    2    3    3    -    3     6     9    0    0    1.5    1    2    41
HSRM4    4    3    3    -    3     6     9    0    0    3.0    2    4    20
HSRM6    6    3    3    -    3     6     9    0    0    5.0    4    6    13

Light SRMs - These are probably a bit too good if your primary use for SRMs is critseeking. The LtSRM 2 doesn't generate enough critical spaces to exist, so it's not here.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

LtSRM4   4    1    1    -    3     6     9    0    0    1.0    1    2    35
LtSRM6   6    1    1    -    3     6     9    0    0    1.5    1    2    23

iMRMs - MRMs without the +1 modifier. Are they usable? They're a little heavier, but not prohibitively so. The MRM 30 and 40 creep up there.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

iMRM10  10    1    5    -    3     8    15    0    0    3.5    2    4    16
iMRM20  20    1    5    -    3     8    15    0    0    7.5    5    7    8
iMRM30  30    1    5    -    3     8    15    0    0   11.5    6    9    5
iMRM40  40    1    5    -    3     8    15    0    0   15.5    7   12    4

iRLs - Rocket launchers that can reload. Still pretty light, but obviously not as much as regular RLs. They compete more with MRMs, These get a little unexciting after a while. I take that as a good sign.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

iRL10   10    1    5    -    5    11    18   +1   -2    3.0    2    4    22
iRL15   15    1    5    -    5    11    18   +1   -2    5.0    3    5    14
iRL20   20    1    5    -    5    11    18   +1   -2    6.5    5    7    11

Thunderbolt x2's - If an existing Thunderbolt system can be brought down by an AMS, why not allow them to make two shots? That redundancy costs a lot though. I'd take a cluster roll for what is essentially a UAC/15 that strikes at 18 hexes for fewer tons than an AC/20. If you were curious about that "Fuck Autocannons" post from earlier this week, shit like this is why (also crunching AC numbers).

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

TBx2 5   2    5    5    3    6    12    18    0    0    4.5    2    4    12
TBx2 10  2   10   10    3    6    12    18    0    0    9.0    5    7     8
TBx2 15  2   15   15    3    6    12    18    0    0   13.5    6    9     7
TBx2 20  2   20   20    3    6    12    18    0    0   18.5    7    12    6

Surgical Missiles - The only original weapon system on this list. It has a -2 to hit and a +2 cluster roll bonus. Missiles are in groups of four because...why not? Mostly because of the terrible damage/ton efficiency, that's why not. There's no reason to take an SM16 over two SM8's, but at least it's consistent with canon missile systems.

It's got awful damage per ton though. Sure, it's consistent, but you're comparing a weapon system that clusters closer to an upper end of 12 damage to an LRM 20.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

SM4     4    1    4    2    5    10    15   -2   +2    3.0    1    2    28
SM8     8    1    4    2    5    10    15   -2   +2    6.0    1    3    14
SM12   12    1    4    2    5    10    15   -2   +2    9.5    2    4     9
SM16   16    1    4    2    5    10    15   -2   +2   12.5    4    6     7

Next week I'll repost a selection of the old custom missiles I generated last time with new stats and missile systems suggested by other people.

I also promised some expanded missile systems, LRM 11's and whatnot. I'll post those Monday.

Letterkenny - Ants on Seadoos

A weird, good, funny, strange show. 

I can't believe Shorsey is getting a spinoff.

I can out of Australian stuff.

Autocannons Suck. No really; AUTOCANNONS SUCK

I have a habit of reverse-engineering Battletech equipment. What would a 4-damage standard laser look like? Can you make an MRM version of the SRM? What equation creates the tonnage of a given rating of a fusion engine?

Recently, I turned to ACs. Unlike missiles standard AC equations came out in one night's worth of work. Simple stuff. It was a bit tricky with the AC2's and AC5's having the same heat, but easy-peasy.

The template to turn an AC into a Light Autocannon was a bit harder. There are only two, so it's hard to make a nuanced trendline. If an AC2 loses 6 hexes range and an AC5 loses 3 hexes of range, then an AC8 would lose 0 hexes. An AC11 gains 3 hexes and in the end a “Light” AC 20 weighed 9 tons and had the reach of an LRM for the same heat and ammo efficiency as its standard counterpart.

Why would a weapon ostensibly made to create an AC niche nerf the LAC2 so much? Were banked LAC2’s keeping someone at FASA up at night? It was frustrating, as someone who likes choosing equipment and someone who likes making equipment.

Then I looked at the LBX and Ultra ACs. Really looked. I’d skimmed them a few times. Maybe cluck-clucked as I used an LBX 5 to round out an assault playload or made a joke LBX Jagermech, but I never really held the numbers up side-by-side. 

Missile Equations: Finale, Pt I

Man, after a lot of work, I finally have my 'good enough' missile equations. Let's get to it.

Is It Good?

So I ran these equations for SRMs, LRMs, and MRMs. I had to do the rest as templates because the numbers were cray. I also had to base factors on two things: damage per shot and to-hit over 38 hexes.

Damage per shot lumped damage per missile and missiles per shot (tubes) into one big factor that ignored cluster size. Surely, SRMs would change significantly if they landed in clusters of 5. These equations mostly don't care about that. Somehow, I made equations that allow for Thunderbolt launchers to be added as a template.

To-hit over 38 hexes, TH38, looks at the maximum range of Extended LRMs and using that as a cap, incorporates cluster bonuses/maluses, to-hit bonuses/maluses, minimum ranges, and range brackets into one factor that can be worked with. All I cared about was that the TH38 for SRMs was less than that for MRMs, which was less than that for LRMs. It was, so I ran with it.

Picard Season 2: Kirk and Picard

"Is there any value in reading Star Trek: Picard's development of Jean Luc's intervening career and retirement as a contrast to Kirk's?"

I hadn't thought about it. Kirk joined Starfleet out of personal ambition, attained great heights, found it lacking, then gave those heights up for his friends/family. He retired but still believed that being a Starfleet captain was a way to make a difference.

Picard had always wanted to be a Starfleet captain. Initially, we understand his motives to be noble and principled, but we understand that they're somehow more vainglorious than Kirk's. Kirk wants to get power and validation. Ultimately those things are hollow and unsatisfying so Kirk gave them up for what really mattered.

Now, clearly, there's no reason for Picard to take Kirk's advice any more heavily than advice from anyone else he's encountered. But maybe 'mythical Starfleet captain trapped in time like the King Arthur of space,' does beat the bell curve, and if Lower Decks is any indication of how the universe works...

Let's say he internalized Kirk's advice about being a captain as a way to make a difference. Picard still made the conscious choice to become an admiral because he thought Kirk was wrong or because making a difference wasn't as big a deal to him as being seen as the guy who made a difference.

Kirk actually no shit became friends with his crew and retired because Starfleet didn't satisfy him any more. The guy who almost destroyed Earth in TMP because he wanted to get back into space just...outgrew it.

Picard was told "no" because he couldn't or wouldn't read the political situation of Space 9/11 plus The Romulan Dunkirk and ragequit Starfleet before sulking in his tent for 15 years like Achilles with a news allergy. 15 years later, he has no knowledge of the status of Romulan refugees he personally knew and helped resettle.

Book Club on the Edge of Forever - Neuromancer

A few of us decided to start a book club for genre fiction (science fiction/fantasy). And while we were discussing, we thought we'd record it. The podcast is called The Book Club on the Edge of Forever. This month was Neuromancer: https://bookclubontheedgeofforever.podbean.com/e/neuromancer/

This months selections?

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor (9 points) - Her name is Binti, and she is the first of the Himba people ever to be offered a place at Oomza University, the finest institution of higher learning in the galaxy. But to accept the offer will mean giving up her place in her family to travel between the stars among strangers who do not share her ways or respect her customs.

Knowledge comes at a cost, one that Binti is willing to pay, but her journey will not be easy. The world she seeks to enter has long warred with the Meduse, an alien race that has become the stuff of nightmares. Oomza University has wronged the Meduse, and Binti's stellar travel will bring her within their deadly reach.

If Binti hopes to survive the legacy of a war not of her making, she will need both the gifts of her people and the wisdom enshrined within the University, itself ― but first she has to make it there, alive. 96 pages. 2.5 hour audiobook

The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan (13 points) - Considered by some to be quintessential epic fantasy, Robert Jordan took the fantasy genre that was created by Tolkien and elevated it even further.

In this first book of a 16 part series, a group of villagers must identify who is the Dragon Reborn, a hero that will come to save and destroy the world. It is 782 pages long and I will eat a copy of it if this gets chosen, one page at a time. It has also been subjected to a dramatization by Amazon and is currently being watched by millions.

The First Nova I See Tonight by Jason Kilgore (13 points) - Space jockey Dirken Nova and his cyborg companion, Yiorgos, are hired for an "easy money" job transporting a mysterious safebox between planets. It would be enough for them to finally afford their own starship again. But the gig goes sideways when galactic pirates attack. A merciless pirate captain, a tentacled mafioso, an enigmatic cult, and a femme fatale alien lover all want the package for themselves. Who's a smuggler to trust? 

This space opera is a return to the beloved "zap gun" stories of the past -- a fun, exciting, and sometimes erotic romp across the galaxy! 249 pages.

Neuromancer by William Gibson's (23 points) - Gibson's 1984 novel that really kicked cyberpunk into the mainstream. It's a story about a hacker, stripped of his abilities, who agrees to take on a new job for the chance to cure the damage that keeps him out of cyberspace. It won the Nebula and the Hugo the year it came out, and I loved it when I read it, but with NFTs and the Metaverse in the news I'm curious about how it holds up and what it's like to read it almost 40 years later. 270 pages. I don't remember there being anything especially objectionable in it.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone (17 points) - 208 pages. Two agents in a time war start a correspondence. Big Piranesi vibes. I picked it up in my quest for substantive stories about time wars. It was disappointing on that front, but a good read.

As always, the points are the end result of ranked voting from all 5 of our members.

I wasn't sure why I wasn't compelled by Bindi. I don't remember who I voted for this one. It seems pretty stock. It clearly pitches me the idea--maybe just an idea--in the blurb; culture and education. I mean, yeah, IDIC. It seemed to confidently tell me what it was about and it wasn't novel enough. If I realized how short it was, it got a solid bump up the ranks.

Oh wow, the first book in an epic fantasy series. I get that following series and authors are a way of guaranteeing quality in the face of Sturgeon's Law. On the other hand fuck epic fantasy series. If you're going to write one hundred thousand books about your fantasy world without sexy elf twinks, you could at least make each book more digestible than a dictionary.

If was writing an epic fantasy series, I wouldn't use the Encyclopedia Britannica as a template.

This is How You Lose the Time War was my suggestion. I realize my description is short, but it came in second. All I have to say about it is that it's short and good.

Our final runner-up (last loser?) is First Nova I See Tonight, a high adventure sci-fi adventure that styles itself a callback like Captain Proton, but played straight. However simple Binti's idea was, it had an idea. First Nova doesn't seem like it's got that, even. I guess there's nothing wrong with a wiz-bang adventure. It's better than another bloody epic fantasy series. 

Another Bloody Epic Fantasy Series? ABEFS? I'll workshop it.

Finally Neuromancer. 

Yes. 

Yes, I would like to read a science-fiction classic.

This isn't even close, guys.

You can find The Book Club at the Edge of Forever here: https://bookclubontheedgeofforever.podbean.com/