August's Trailers

 Three Thousand  Years of Longing

Two words: Tilda Swinton. Let's DO EEET!

Samaritan

It's the story of a kid who realizes that their next door neighbor is the superhero who was supposed to be killed years ago. Starring Sylvester Stallone and on Amazon Prime.

There is no trailer for it, so you know it's a fuckin' train wreck. Let's gooo!

Bullet Train

Honestly, it just looks like fun. A guy is doing a shady thing and he's stuck on a Japanese bullet train. Why doesn't the United States have those? Republicans. That's the score, motherfuckers.

They/Them

I heard someone say this was either going to be a solid slasher or hate crime. That's...fair.

Dragon Ball Z Superhero

"Computer: Display a franchise more tortured than Star Wars."

Luck

It's an interesting concept. I mean, they gotta pump out CGI kids movies on the reg, so eventually they'll have to think of something original. I hope the Jack Sprat movie is good. It's weird that Bullet Train also has a luck element to it.

The Invitation

When I pull trailers by genre I have a good idea of what's going to make the cut A24's Bodies Bodies Bodies seemed like a shoo-in, but The Invitation beat it hands-down. Weird wedding stuff and vampires. I'll take that over live action Among Us.

Easter Sunday

A movie based on Filipino-American culture actually looks okay. As a European-American whitey and a former offshore worker who met a lot of Filipinos, I'm interested in this subculture and want to know more. I know a movie provides a heavily filtered version of that, but there's some data in there.

Darlings

What if Earl Had to Die crossed paths with 9 to 5? Also: Indian.

I can't really get excited about it because I have no idea what they're saying, but I assume Netflix will have some English subtitles.

Mack and Rita

In a description which sounds like hipster jackoff bullshit, the trailer actually looks good?

Also coming out in August:

Andor

She-Hulk

Archer season 13

Kevin Can Fuck Himself season 2