Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Predator Comic: Without Context, It's All Subtext

Okay, this thing went to a somewhat dark, very graphic, very adult-in-an-immature-way place. I don't know if I'd say not okay for a working environment, but...ah, it's close enough that you should maybe look at the tags and decide whether it's something you want to do. The comic itself is PG, the commentary is decidedly not so.

As you guys know, a lot as been said recently about the portrayal of women in comics lately (Also, I super-swear I'll start talking about something else in the near future). It's been said that they aren't presented as strong characters. That they expose too much skin for the sake of titilation. That they're presented as sexual and/or submissive objects to satisfy male gaze. That they're cake icing while men do the real work.

Submitted for evidence of how this doesn't just apply to female women to please men is Predator: Deadly River[1]. It features the most crass, exploitative, and absolutely, positively for undiscriminating gay dudes portrayal of a man in any comic I've ever seen.

Am I the only one thinking 'all she has is that knife'? Let's hope.
I haven't read this comic. I just looked at the pictures. What I do know is that Protagonist Man doesn't go two pages without getting knocked into a prone, weakened position that practically begs for a big, strong dude to come and save the day. Much to his ongoing disappointment, the pair of legs here belongs to a female. A female who is unbelievably bearing less skin than Senior Come-Hither.

Pity-fucks don't come with more "pity" than this. "I never want anyone to know I tried to satisfy you," isn't what you want to hear a woman say, regardless of your orientation.

Maybe if you've never been penetrated while watching someone else get fucked TO DEATH, you don't have that sex addiction after all.
Surprising absolutely no one, it's revealed that Predators like it rough.

How rough? Predator vibrating beds have a "to pieces" setting. Their condoms come in "plasma cannon resistant." Their sex swings count as hazardous terrain. Their headboards have a countdown timer. They eschew the "missionary" position in favor of "survivor wins" position. Their birth control devices are xenomorph eggs and rough gay sex with humans. 

oral sex metaphor
The second-closest Loved-A-Lot Bear here gets to standing is when he's on his knees around mysterious, Predator-based fluid explosions.

The conclusions are yours to draw.

'Presenting' is not even close to a way to propose intercourse with a woman.
It's not that Corporal Butt-First doesn't ever try being with's that he's just so bad at it. What is she going to do with that Butt-First, reverse-scissor?

Try very hard not to think about how his ankle bracelet got knocked off and landed where his face is
Let me answer a few questions about this picture:
  • Yes, that metal thing does say "Alert: Seal Broken," which for Blondie Meatrider[2] is like wearing white to your wedding; no one believes it and it sad that you tried.
  • Yes, apparently El Presidente's Air Force gets emergency alerts on this type of thing. And you thought Republicans were way too worried about gay sex.
  • If Platoon outtakes had half this much rump-ranging, the Christmas lists of gay men across the world were just radically altered.
  • Yes, that thing that you're thinking is happening right happening right now.

Thanks for distracting it for 20 minutes while I was looking for this gun.
That is the happiest Predator I have ever seen.

I wonder if being the only woman in a story about gay Predators and the men they Predatorate is like being a kinky Jane Goodall.
Is making up "old sayings" a sign of repeated rectal trauma? I'm thinking it is. I wonder if being the only woman in a story about gay Predators and the men they Predatorate is like being a kinky Jane Goodall.

It's not that Mysterio McWang-Master wanted to be hit, disarmed, and have his 'seal broken' by a Predator, it's that--no, nevermind he totally did. Repeatedly.
He got those guns four panels earlier. Those two shots? The only two he fires with them after charging the Predator. The stereotype of homosexuals being tactical shitheads is insidious and pervasive.

Also, Mercer is the only man--though it's only done through a stifled shriek of protest--to call this entire comic what it is.
The cycle of abuse perpetuates itself. 

[1]...or something. I don't have it out here, so I'm improvising.
[2] Gonna go ahead and put a warning label on this blog right now.

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