Thor: Tales of Asgard - Politics, Religion, and Her

Welcome to today's roundtable discussion of Thor: Tales of Asgard. Today's discussion members are myself, of course, relapsed monster on an international scale, Muammar Gaddafi--is it still Colonel, or do you go by something else now?

"Muammar Gaddafi is not a president to resign, he does not even have a parliament to dissolve."

Fair enough. next, we have Jesus, simultaneously God and demi-god. How's that working out for you Jesus?

"With the exception of a few really bad days, it's been pretty excellent."

Good to hear. Finally, we have New York Times bestselling author Stephanie Meyer. How are things, Stephanie?


“Good, but I’m afraid I can’t stay long. Taylor Laughner’s contract says I can touch his abs five times a day, so my schedule’s kind of busy until Breaking Dawn finishes filming.”



First question’s for you Muammar; as a head of state, what did you think of the political element of this story?

“In Libya, things are different. In Libya, we will never become slaves, like we were to the Italians. We will never accept it. We will fight to the last man and last woman to defend Libya.”

*Laughs* “That’s the sort of approach I’d come to expect from Thor and the Asgardians. The movie shocked me by putting Asgard in the position of supplicant to Niffelheim.”

So, you’ve met Thor?

“Of course not; you do know what ‘monotheism’ means, right? Thor has been a solid book since way back. Simonson? C’mon!”

*daydreaming*: “Mmmm, Thor was always kind of old for me. I’ve always liked Superboy better.”

...right. I think it's time for a commercial break.

Stephanie, as a romance writer, what did you think of the chemistry between Thor and Sif?


“Hm? Oh, it was alright. Sif turning her back on [the Valkyries] to help out Thor was good, but she also embarrasses him. I know this story was about characters when they’re young and, y’know, a little stupid, but even young girls know that men never like being embarrassed.”

“I found the Valkyries to be a bit flat. It might be a ladies-only establishment, but their portrayal as only existing because of men is a bit insulting, to women, to the mythology, and to the viewer.”

You mean Norse mythology?

“No, to the mythology that Kirby established.”

Muammar, you’ve been quiet. What do you think of the portrayal of Thor’s stalwart companions, The Warriors Three?

"The Arabs are envious of you and hope destruction for you and they don't like you at all."

“I feel the same way. I liked these guys, but they were insulting enough to make me feel...wrathy.”

Wrathy?

*Laughs* “Not that wrathy. On a scale of boils to firstborn children…ah…locusts. Definitely locusts.”



*again, daydreaming* “Team Hogun….or Team Fandral?”

What about the concept: the bond between young Thor and Loki?



"I loved that story! I always agreed with the author that Loki would be bigger.”

...bonding...as brothers.


“Oh. That. It didn’t seem realistic to me; they’re gods, so they should always be all powerful and invulnerable, even dangerously so. That’s what people want to see, not a bunch of goofy kids making a lot of mistakes. But hey…Thor was kind of hot and Loki was cute, so it wasn’t a total waste.”

“I found the premise of pre-adolescent gods remarkably easy to accept, but it failed in a tacit promise to show us why the Thor and Loki we know are so close.”

Indeed. We'll be back after another quick commercial break.

12-packs of Pepsi products were on sale at my local grocery store (Rouses #4). I didn't want to take all of the Diet Cherry Pepsi (surely the second-finest of diet sodas) they had, so I took a Diet Lime Pepsi.

After I got home and opened a can, my cat smelled it, recoiled, and slunk away, squeezing herself under a shelf in order to give it the widest berth possible before she ran to the furthest part of the house.

Limes: Cats don't like them very much.

Getting back to the plot. Jesus, what did you think of the themes of betrayal in the film?

“I’m...somewhat aware that betrayal is a central facet of humanity, and exploring it is something I like to see in the media. It’s done well here, but it takes up far too little time.”

"Egypt is going towards the unknown. Not one Egyptian is able to reach an understanding with another Egyptian ... The army is nothing ... Egypt is nothing. It is not a popular revolt."


“Exactly. I don’t think that, like, any of the people or whatever they were that died before this movie were going to be helped by all the lying and hurting that happened in this movie. Besides, only the ice giants had their shirts off, and they’re, like, monsters so it wasn’t very attractive. All that fighting was pointless.”

“It did have a strong message about the consequences of violence the wisdom of peace. It’s not what I expected from a story about the proud warriors of Asgard, but that’s not really a complaint.” *winks*

Oh, because you advocated peace so strongly back in the 0000’s?

"No, because that’s one of the lessons of classic Thor comics. Violence has its place, but it shouldn’t be your first resort and is rarely the last.”

This is more about the live action movie that came out lately, but what’s your opinion about the discontent of some people who worship the Norse gods over the portrayal of Thor?

“I think it’s natural. If you’re religious, it’s the most important thing in your life. Not the only thing, but the most important thing. If someone mis-appropriates a part of that and slaps its name on something that’s antithetical to the meaning you hold for it, it’s natural to get angry. You should get angry and you should speak out. You’ve got the very same right to express your outrage as they do to express their disrespect, lack of respect, or even different respect for your--pardon the phrase--sacred cows. Not speaking out when someone hijacks the symbols of your faith, not countering that image with your own meaning? That kind of silence implies an egregious lack of conviction.”

This is a public service announcement about...

CONDUIT

Conduit was a Superman villain for about two years. His name was Kenny Braverman, and he was Clark Kent's best-friend-from-Smallville-that-you-never-met-before-turned-worst-enemy. He was a superspy with a Kryptonite suit who built a replica of Smallville--complete with robotic inhabitants--in order to clear out a high-school grudge against Clark.

He was unnecessarily connected to the protagonist, he killed a character important to the protagonist only for it to be revealed that she was still alive, he had a plot device piece of equipment utilizing the plot device weakness of the protagonist, and he cleanly and conveniently killed himself while pursuing his irrational vendetta. Whatever scattered slivers of relevance he might have had have all since been superseded by Lex Luthor's retconned background.

Conduit is the tentacled embodiment of all of the worst things about comics, in the nineties and now. He doesn't need to be entombed below The Hall of Justice; he needs to displayed like Lenin in the central working area of DC Comics with a 4-foot placard reading "NEVER AGAIN."

Welcome back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get up on a soapbox there. Trust me, I don’t like being ‘up on’ anything.”

Fair enough. I'm afraid we're out of time. Closing thoughts? Mommar?

“We put our fingers in the eyes of those who doubt that Libya is ruled by anyone other than its people.”

Indeed, the message about violence within government here is undeniable. Stephanie?


*On the phone* “I’m sorry, Robert Pattinson’s contract says he has to ignore--mmm--five of my phone calls a day. Oooh, it went to voicemail. That is so hot!”

Jesus?

“I was disappointed Beta-Ray Bill wasn’t in this. He was just begging for a cameo in here amongst the dozens of other Asgardian fixtures that got crammed in.”

Oh, you mean because Beta-Ray Bill has been so popular lately?

“No, because he kept emailing Joe Quesada about it. He even asked me to help.”

What?

“That’s not really surprising. Lots of people ask me for stuff. I mean, it would be nice for someone to request simple things on occasion, 'Jesus, please help me move my couch this weekend.' 'Jesus, could you watch my cat while I'm on vacation?' Just once, I'd like to help a friend pick his car up from the shop, y'know?”

No, I mean, Beta-Ray Bill was…emailing someone? Was this in Deadpool Team-Up?

“No, in Gmail; Beta-Ray Bill is real.”

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"Jesus" image courtesy of ScottSpot.