 | As our planewalkers arrive to fight for dominance, the first one is my favorite Stewart. Codenamed, "Exactly as Human," she has a healthy understanding of humans; their tactics, leading them, and motivating them for a greater cause. Which is to say sending waves of them at an enemy. |
 | I favor "Platoon." It is a rhox from my native plane of Alara and it shows the superiority of cooperation and teamwork; not just artless numbers. |
| Artless numbers are how you run up a score. Also playing today is "Close Air Support," a classic fire and lightning 'walker who uses dragon claws to build up her presence in the plane while glitterfangs and viashino sandstalkers swing in at the enemy. |
| *harumph* Not nearly enough defense. |
| And not smart enough make a difference. And our final contestant, Stewart? |
| A "mill" walker who uses memories and madness to fight their battles. That they are assisted by aides— |
| —minions— |
| —who are also allies is immaterial. I thought you would favor such an approach, Sivitri. It dwells on manipulation and deceit in place of substance and skill. |
| I prize results over style. Smart people often do. |
| Then we both agree that "Friends, Bokujans" has little skill to speak of. |
| --- |
| Alright, so the battle has started. As expected, Close has gone after Exactly early on. |
| The local humans seem to have learned that the lightning storms precede the viashino attacks. |
| The dragon claws have let her shrug off early retaliation, but sooner or later Close is going to get worn down. |
| And it looks like the local mana is giving Platoon problems. |
| "Bad luck," is the claim of many who lack skill, Stewart. |
| Both it and Close suffer from Yarikama's lack of native spirits. |
| Meanwhile, Friends has subtly recruited Excavators, sabotaging Platoon's efforts at recalling his spells. Not particularly— |
| Boom! Pyroclasm! The board is cleared! |
| Look at those villages burn. I can almost smell the seared human flesh. Except for Friends' excavators, it's cleared the board and bought Close a little bit of time. |
| And now Friends has recruited an occultist. Working with those excavators, it can begin reanimating everything that the pyroclasm just killed. |
| Enlisting the dead. Reprehensible. |
| Hardly. Having to wait for summoning sickness to wear off before you can recruit the dead, that's reprehensible. *stands and shouts at the plane* Cast Sootstoke! |
| Close is trying to recover with a full army of prepared spells, but is clearly fighting against summoning sickness itself. |
| Which means it is the first to fall as Friends hires a Brigand to join its band, rips up half of Exactly's repertoire and plucks another angel from the scraps. |
| Platoon tries to step out, but... |
| It never had a chance. |
| *shrugs* Sometimes, the lands run the fight. |
| And in an avalanche of stolen dead and madness, Friends, Bokujans takes Yarikama. |
| Let's go to Norin the Wary to interview our winner. Norin? |
 | *Looks at camera* AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! *runs away* |
 | ...um... |
 | How you doin'? |
| Tired. I just got ambushed by three...um 'other mages.' |
| ... |
| Am I being interviewed? |
| Yeah. I guess. I could interview you. I have a black belt in judo, so I probably could. You listen to AC/DC? |
| What's an...ack-dack? |
| Yeah, they're from Earth. You probably never heard of them. |
| Do I listen to an earth elemental? That's the stupidest fu— |
| Great interview, Joven. Congratulations Friends, Bokujans. |
| *offscreen* Are you talking to me? That's not my name. |
| We are all disappointed by your victory. |
| But we wish you good luck in the next round! |
| What do you mean "the next round"? What's going to— |
| Well, that's the end of our turn. |
| Have a great night, and don't forget your upkeep triggers! |
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