It's the Magic: Avacyn Restored Inevitable 10 Top Things

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As you know, Avacyn Restored is coming out a mere week from Friday and the entire set was just spoiled over on the website. Since it's painfully obvious that I didn't go anywhere to play Magic this weekend because of a crippling addiction to school avoidance that forced me to spend much of my weekend studying (and roleplaying), today is all about the ten top things in Avacyn Restored.

Top Most Confusing Eldrazi Spawn

It's like this guy and Vampire Interloper can combine forces to make one wholly functional Falkenrath Noble. My only real question is what happened to the sexy vampires from Innistrad and Dark Ascension?

Top No Way Is This Ever Gonna Get Reprinted

Part of it is the very place specific name. Part of it is the strong human and spirit theme. Also, it isn't that we're just now getting human tokens that aren't white and something could get taken out of context. It's that some asshole absolutely will think it's funny to advertise it's existence out of context and no one's going to be around to make him choke on this thing.
 

Aside from that, I might have liked the card, but I can't.

 

Ethical reasons, really.

Top Top Down Card

"Why does it destroy equipment?" 

"Hungry spiders." 

Top Card That--Khhhhhaaaaaaaaaannnn!

Top Dual Wielding Badass Who Needs Flavor Text Now

Combos with Leap of Faith so he can fire two crossbows whilst jumping through the air.

Top Flavor Text

Since Innistrad kicked off, I've liked Sorin as the Michael Bluth of the Innistrad vampire family, and this quote drives it home. Of course, it's scaled up for a family whose excesses involve casual killing while Sorin patches things up instead of just planeswalking somewhere else.

Also, I intended for those hot vampires to be male. 

Top Way to Wreck Shit 'til Rakados Comes Back

Combos with Cloudshift, Warp World, Scrambleverse, helmet, cup, pretty good insurance.

Top "Aw, why is the hot dude vampire the sad one?"

 

But it does boast that tantalizing combination of Innistrad vampire and emoness...

Top 1/1 for 2

You can tell by the way I float my walk
I'm a geisty doc, no time to talk
Make no sound and do no harm
been treating the ill 
and babies born.

It's always night
It's never day
You may look the other way
You can try to target me
Doom Blade just can't stick to me

Whether its a titan or
Whether it's a devil
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Feel the harvest pyre
Feel the roll tremblor
I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Ah, ha, ha, ha stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha stayin' alive, stayin' alive

I curve low, but can't fly
Can't stop wurms, but I can't die

Got the wings of heaven on my shoes
I'm doctor man, I'm not a ghoul

It's always night
It's never day
You may look the other way
You can try to target me
Whip Flare just can't stick to me

Whether its a dragon or
Whether it's a shaman
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Feel the dawn ignitin'
and everybody fightin'
I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Ah, ha, ha, ha stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Life goin' nowhere
somebody blocking
somebody blocking
yeah

Song repeats for another two minutes.
No new lyrics are introduced.

Top...huh...who...dapper...overpowering...

...what...is...vampire?

Honorable Mention