We are still pretending I'm not making these in August after biffing June and July.
Bando Stone & The New World - July 19th
Not just because of Donald Glover, but because it's a fun premise. I don't know if "actor kinda plays themselves as a fish out of water in a world gone mad" is a genre, but if it is, I like that genre.
Sight Unseen - July 19th
The competing movie was, Push, about a pregnant woman suffering a home invasion in a scary house. I think creepy, inherited house with dysfunctional siblings, dad with a dark secret, and a why-the-fuck-not supernatural element is infinitely more compelling. It's limboing under the line, but it makes the cut.
Finally Dawn - July 18th
I don't know about this movie. But I do know the trailer is what all trailers should be. Present us the first act premise, and then hit us with the vibe like a fire hose.
Together - July 30th
It's kind of a Community alum month with Alison Brie and Donald Glover headlining movies. But they both look good.
It's also worth noting that the team behind Together is being sued by the team behind the 2023 movie Better Half, where two people end up getting fused together during a one night stand. Allegedly, the makers of Better Half shopped the script to Dave Franco and Alison Brie in 2020.
Ick - July 27th
Okay, we're having fun with it. I'm in it 100% for the soundtrack though.
Well, 80% for the soundtrack and 20% for Brandon Routh.
40 Acres - July 2nd
Looks tense, smart, and focused on a conflict at hand. Lots of weird, horror-y movies coming out mid-summer. I guess this is more of an action thriller, but isn't a thriller just a horror movie without monsters?
Dracula: A Love Tale - 30 July
I'd say something like, "We don't need an origin story for Dracula," but the origin story was in Bram Stoker's Dracula. We're really just adapting part of the Dracula story, which is itself just a distillation of a general vampire archetype.
And in this house, we still respect the name Luc Besson.
Et Tu - July 25th
In the unrelenting march of horror this month, let's take a brief respite to enjoy--
What's that? A play about murder is the subject of a movie about murder? Fuck it, I tried. Enjoy Fantastic Four.
Fantastic Four - July 25th
Eddington (not that one) - July 18th
That looks crazy good. Normal people existing in a little quantum distillation of 2020 trying to do the right thing and eventually it all blows up.
Look, anti-mask, anti-vaccine loons are contemptible dicksores that mistake contrarianism for intellect, but I'm still interested in seeing them sympathetically for the sake of a good drama.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Motorheads (Series) - May 20th
I'm still playing catchup from months past. Looks like it's aimed at a demographic a bit younger than I am, but I am a man who's easily influenced by Michael Cimino.
Brick (Series) - July 10th
I like good, hard mystery. None of this "Is someone trying to kill us?" No, give me "A naked golden man with no dick is murdering people with a golf club. WHYYY!?" Get to the point, stories!
I leave you now with the sounds of "Lithonia."
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