Canons Reloaded

"I heard a rapper once say there's a message in everything."
-Piebald, "Sex Sells and (Unfortunately) I'm Buying"

So canon isn't just the technical body of work creators reference when making new work. It's also the blobby circle of that work which the public draws from when referencing it.

 

Behold. A canon.

What these things mean–Star Trek, Christianity, The Boys–is determined by how it's discussed and treated by us. And also a few hundred thousand bots run by marketing companies and hate campaigns.

But let's pretend we're engaging in an internet that's only terminal and not dead yet. An internet where people read things that other people want to read (I've got personal stock in that premise).

 

"Maybe Man" by AJR

 

Magic: The Gathering: Star Trek: Part II

Intro

A big reason I left Magic: the Gathering was the creation of the Universes Beyond brand imprint. I mean, if I have to say the phrase "brand imprint,' things aren’t going great. I should be able to buy my Magic cards and play Magic and not think about branding, intellectual property, or any of the cursed phrases I’m about to say —

Magic was going to use that brand imprint to create cross-corporate synergy with AMC's The Walking Dead franchise. It was going to be a dozen, maybe two dozen, cards representing the The Walking Dead television series. There’s a lot of reasons not to like that.

As cynics and hypemen predicted, The Walking Dead Magic product was just the beginning. It was immediately followed by Stranger Things, Street Fighter, Warhammer 40K, and, honestly, most of the The Ultimate Showdown (of ultimate destiny).

Not pictured.

And I was unhappy at the time, but I did have to ask myself, "What if they did this with an intellectual property I liked?" I couldn’t think of any at the time because the ones I thought were unthinkable, but late last year Wizards of the Coast revealed they'd broken the genre/taste barrier: Magic: The Gathering: Star Trek.

My response at the time was unenthusiastic, but in the creation of those Universes Beyond and other products in the time since I left Magic, Wizards of the Coast had done some creative work. I kept up to poo-poo the bad ones and ignore the good ones, but I'm a bitch. 

Matt Berry reads a letter from Robert Crumb

 

Movie Trailers for August

The story is that I wanted to watch a movie in August, but when it came down to it, it was either spend 3 hours watching The Odyssey or watching Spider-Man, and neither one of those propositions appealed to me.

I usually do just ten of these, plus some honorable mentions for TV series. This month is gonna be different because...there are some patterns. I'll group movies with similar elements with a title.

Our House. In the Middle of Our--OH GOD WHAT IS THAT!? 

The Last House (August 7th)

The End of Oak Street (August 14th)

 

I listed The Last House first because it just looks better and it reminds me less of the 1997 The Outer Limits episode, "Feasibility Study."

It also looks a little more horror than action, with a mystery that slowly unravels. As opposed to The End of Oak Street, which concedes we're on an alien planet with murder dinosaurs and I guess you're just fucked.

 

"Long Live" by Taylor Swift, Star Trek AMV

 

Magic: The Gathering: Star Trek: Part 1

As you know, I'm a fan of BattleTech. For a long time, BattleTech fiction was only available on sourcebooks and in a small publication of short stories called BattleCorps. It was filled with vignettes, stories too short to be worth a novel and yet still integral to the universe of BattleTech, if only in terms of tone and themes.

It's been a while since I've read "En Passant," so I don't think you need to worry about spoilers. This may not even be accurate.

It's 3065. The Federated Commonwealth's Civil War continues apace. Some noble houses, especially those on the border with the Draconis Combine, have stayed neutral. Years of enmity with the Dragon have kept them laser-focused on an external enemy, even while Loyalists and Allies tear the rest of the realm apart.

An heir of one of these small houses, Päl Wyndham-Sandoval, returns home from a failed pre-emptive strike against the Combine. Travel in BattleTech is slow; it takes a week to get to a jumpship. An instant to jump, but another week before you can jump again. War itself isn't any faster.

He's recovering from minor injuries and only wants to see his wife, Khim, and son. A son that barely knows him. His parents are interested in the political fallout of their misadventure across the border. For them, it's grim; those with actual power are working to ease tensions with the Combine.

Päl himself supports this. He is happy to be home with his wife and child. He loves his family and he's happy to be out of combat so he can wear his wedding ring again.His parents are apoplectic, trying to drum up hatred for the Combine and plunge this sliver of peace back into war as part of their own petty power plays. Perhaps they'll throw in with Katherine Steiner-Davions Loyalists so they can pursue their vendetta against their neighbors.

That evening, as the family prepares for a banquet in honor of his returning, an assassin enters his quarters. They take his wife hostage and just as Päl realizes he is the target and not Khim, he strikes.