Brooklyn 99 Brainteaser

Brooklyn 99 is a great show. I didn't always watch it, but it's solid. One thing I do like is that all of the characters are supposed to be smart and deal with cool shit. The most famous moment is the Monty Hall episode, but I really enjoyed Holt's Islander Riddle.

If you don't want to watch the video, then here's the puzzle.

There are 12 men on an island. 11 weigh exactly the same amount, but one of them is slightly lighter or heaver. You must figure out which.

The island has no scales, but there is a see-saw. The exciting catch? You can only use it three times.

I stopped the episode and figured it out. It took a while but it was fun. 

August's Trailers

 Three Thousand  Years of Longing

Two words: Tilda Swinton. Let's DO EEET!

Samaritan

It's the story of a kid who realizes that their next door neighbor is the superhero who was supposed to be killed years ago. Starring Sylvester Stallone and on Amazon Prime.

There is no trailer for it, so you know it's a fuckin' train wreck. Let's gooo!

Bullet Train

Honestly, it just looks like fun. A guy is doing a shady thing and he's stuck on a Japanese bullet train. Why doesn't the United States have those? Republicans. That's the score, motherfuckers.

They/Them

I heard someone say this was either going to be a solid slasher or hate crime. That's...fair.

Dragon Ball Z Superhero

"Computer: Display a franchise more tortured than Star Wars."

Luck

It's an interesting concept. I mean, they gotta pump out CGI kids movies on the reg, so eventually they'll have to think of something original. I hope the Jack Sprat movie is good. It's weird that Bullet Train also has a luck element to it.

The Invitation

When I pull trailers by genre I have a good idea of what's going to make the cut A24's Bodies Bodies Bodies seemed like a shoo-in, but The Invitation beat it hands-down. Weird wedding stuff and vampires. I'll take that over live action Among Us.

Easter Sunday

A movie based on Filipino-American culture actually looks okay. As a European-American whitey and a former offshore worker who met a lot of Filipinos, I'm interested in this subculture and want to know more. I know a movie provides a heavily filtered version of that, but there's some data in there.

Darlings

What if Earl Had to Die crossed paths with 9 to 5? Also: Indian.

I can't really get excited about it because I have no idea what they're saying, but I assume Netflix will have some English subtitles.

Mack and Rita

In a description which sounds like hipster jackoff bullshit, the trailer actually looks good?

Also coming out in August:

Andor

She-Hulk

Archer season 13

Kevin Can Fuck Himself season 2

 

Scottish Humor

I love this short little bit.

New Missiles

I've run out of gas on creating missile systems. I've just looked too far into the abyss. They're all the same. So I'm just going to remake the ones I posted a few weeks ago.

Null-Signal Missiles -  How many ways can you say "dead-fire" or "unguided"? Lots, I suppose. Shit-ass rockets are a type. These feel more like reloadable rocket launchers than last week's iRLs.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

NSM     12    2    2    -    3     5     8   +1   -2    0.5    5    8    15
NSM     17    2    2    -    3     5     8   +1   -2    1.0    5   10    18
NSM     22    2    2    -    3     5     8   +1   -2    1.0   12   14     8

Proximate Range Missiles - Is a one-ton system that deals 12 damage out to 6 hexes too strong? Probably. We also see the gears grind a bit as we get lots of tubes and small cluster malus. It's hard to account for stuff like that since the cluster mod uses an average value and doesn't really calculate the swing between many small missiles and a few larger ones.

Heavy Medium Lasers deal 10 damage per ton. The NSM 30 isn't quite that good. It actually generates more heat and requires more tonnage on account of ammunition. I feel it's too much though.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

PRM     12    1    6    -    2     4     6   -1   -1    1.0    2    4    44
PRM     18    1    6    -    2     4     6   -1   -1    2.0    4    6    29
PRM     24    1    6    -    2     4     6   -1   -1    2.5    5    8   22
PRM     30    1    6    -    2     4     6   -1   -1    3.5    6    9  17

Boosted SRM - That to-hit penalty is probably too steep. It's another way to absolutely slam crits into an enemy. It's a lot tubes per ton, that's for sure.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

BSRM     3    1    1    -    1     4     9   +2   +2    0.5    1    1    85
BSRM     6    1    1    -    1     4     9   +2   +2    1.0    1    2    42
BSRM     9    1    1    -    1     4     9   +2   +2    1.5    2    3    28
BSRM    12    1    1    -    1     4     9   +2   +2    2.0    2    4    21

Light LRM - LRMs can't do less damage per missile, but they can have more spread. I've also made it a Clan system and halved the weight. I'm sure making a system into a clan system is more involved than that, but this is just spitballs.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

LLRM     5    1    1    -    5    10    15    0   +1    1.0    1    2    11
LLRM    10    1    1    -    5    10    15    0   +1    2.0    2    4     5
LLRM    15    1    1    -    5    10    15    0   +1    3.5    3    5     3
LLRM    20    1    1    -    5    10    15    0   +1    4.5    5    7     2

Nightquest - Not every system is good. The ones I post tend to be normal to too-good, so here's an objectively bad system: the nightquest. Sure, 5 damage per missile bypasses a lot of the cluster roll shenanigans, but is doing 10 damage at 37 hexes worth 42 tons? Of course not. Fuck this thing.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

NQt      1    5    5    8   10    20    37   -1    0   37.0    1    3     5
NQt      2    5    5    8   10    20    37   -1    0   42.0    2    4     2
NQt      3    5    5    8   10    20    37   -1    0   63.0    3    5     1
NQt      4    5    5    8   10    20    37   -1    0   84.5    5    7     1

Missile Equations: Finale, Pt II

Me: "This blog has text in it. Must be ready to ship."

This is just a list of some test missile systems with feedback. All of the ones listed here are variations on a theme: LRMs with one extra damage per missile. SRMs that only deal one damage. Reloadable Rocket Launchers. 

Next week I'll be doing more esoteric missiles, hopefully with input from the comments and possibly Reddit's r/Battletech sub.

Short LRMs - These are LRM systems with the range of SRMs. These seem fair. Sure, an S-LRM5 does more damage than an SRM 2, but it's just a shit medium laser. Compared to stacked medium lasers, they definitely lose out.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

S-LRM5   5    1    5    -    3     6     9    0    0    1.0    1    2    63
S-LRM10 10    1    5    -    3     6     9    0    0    2.5    2    4    31
S-LRM15 15    1    5    -    3     6     9    0    0    4.0    3    5    21
S-LRM20 20    1    5    -    3     6     9    0    0    5.5    5    7   15

Long SRMs - SRMs with the range of an LRM. A cluster version of an LRM 20 comes in pretty close to the original article.Terrible ammo efficiency though. I'm sure if you could peel off armor at a decent enough range, these would be nice. Might also be good for trying to score crits on vees at a distance. Maybe a poor man's HAG?

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

LSRM2    2    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    1.5    1    2    19
LSRM3    3    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    2.5    1    2    12
LSRM4    4    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    3.5    1    3    9
LSRM5    5    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    4.5    2    4    7
LSRM6    6    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    5.5    2    4    6
LSRM7    7    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    6.5    3    5    5
LSRM8    8    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    7.5    4    6    4
LSRM9    9    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    8.0    4    6    4
LSRM10  10    2    2    6    7    14    21    0    0    9.0    5    7    3

LBMs - If we can fire off missiles at any range with a -1 to-hit and clusters of one damage, do we create missiles better than LBX autocannons? Versatility and ammo efficiency aside? Yes we do. The LBM is "invalid" because it just doesn't have any crits. That's usually a hard stop.

But y'know, versatility is one of the big draws of LBX autocannons, so maybe it is fair.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

LBM2     5    1    1    4    9    18    27   -1    0    4.5    0    1    28
LBM5    10    1    1    3    8    14    21   -1    0    4.5    1    2    12
LBM10   15    1    1    -    6    12    18   -1    0    6.5    2    4     5
LBM20   20    1    1    -    4     8    12   -1    0    7.5    5    7    3

Heavy SRMs - What is SRMs did 3 damage per missile instead of 2? They're heavier. Comparable to streak missiles, really. The loss of ammo efficiency isn't bad. It's probably an asset.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

HSRM2    2    3    3    -    3     6     9    0    0    1.5    1    2    41
HSRM4    4    3    3    -    3     6     9    0    0    3.0    2    4    20
HSRM6    6    3    3    -    3     6     9    0    0    5.0    4    6    13

Light SRMs - These are probably a bit too good if your primary use for SRMs is critseeking. The LtSRM 2 doesn't generate enough critical spaces to exist, so it's not here.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

LtSRM4   4    1    1    -    3     6     9    0    0    1.0    1    2    35
LtSRM6   6    1    1    -    3     6     9    0    0    1.5    1    2    23

iMRMs - MRMs without the +1 modifier. Are they usable? They're a little heavier, but not prohibitively so. The MRM 30 and 40 creep up there.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

iMRM10  10    1    5    -    3     8    15    0    0    3.5    2    4    16
iMRM20  20    1    5    -    3     8    15    0    0    7.5    5    7    8
iMRM30  30    1    5    -    3     8    15    0    0   11.5    6    9    5
iMRM40  40    1    5    -    3     8    15    0    0   15.5    7   12    4

iRLs - Rocket launchers that can reload. Still pretty light, but obviously not as much as regular RLs. They compete more with MRMs, These get a little unexciting after a while. I take that as a good sign.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

iRL10   10    1    5    -    5    11    18   +1   -2    3.0    2    4    22
iRL15   15    1    5    -    5    11    18   +1   -2    5.0    3    5    14
iRL20   20    1    5    -    5    11    18   +1   -2    6.5    5    7    11

Thunderbolt x2's - If an existing Thunderbolt system can be brought down by an AMS, why not allow them to make two shots? That redundancy costs a lot though. I'd take a cluster roll for what is essentially a UAC/15 that strikes at 18 hexes for fewer tons than an AC/20. If you were curious about that "Fuck Autocannons" post from earlier this week, shit like this is why (also crunching AC numbers).

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

TBx2 5   2    5    5    3    6    12    18    0    0    4.5    2    4    12
TBx2 10  2   10   10    3    6    12    18    0    0    9.0    5    7     8
TBx2 15  2   15   15    3    6    12    18    0    0   13.5    6    9     7
TBx2 20  2   20   20    3    6    12    18    0    0   18.5    7    12    6

Surgical Missiles - The only original weapon system on this list. It has a -2 to hit and a +2 cluster roll bonus. Missiles are in groups of four because...why not? Mostly because of the terrible damage/ton efficiency, that's why not. There's no reason to take an SM16 over two SM8's, but at least it's consistent with canon missile systems.

It's got awful damage per ton though. Sure, it's consistent, but you're comparing a weapon system that clusters closer to an upper end of 12 damage to an LRM 20.

Type   Tubes Dmg/ Cl MinR    SR   MR    LR THMod ClMod Tons Crits Ht Shot/               Msl                                                      Ton

SM4     4    1    4    2    5    10    15   -2   +2    3.0    1    2    28
SM8     8    1    4    2    5    10    15   -2   +2    6.0    1    3    14
SM12   12    1    4    2    5    10    15   -2   +2    9.5    2    4     9
SM16   16    1    4    2    5    10    15   -2   +2   12.5    4    6     7

Next week I'll repost a selection of the old custom missiles I generated last time with new stats and missile systems suggested by other people.

I also promised some expanded missile systems, LRM 11's and whatnot. I'll post those Monday.

Letterkenny - Ants on Seadoos

A weird, good, funny, strange show. 

I can't believe Shorsey is getting a spinoff.

I can out of Australian stuff.

Autocannons Suck. No really; AUTOCANNONS SUCK

I have a habit of reverse-engineering Battletech equipment. What would a 4-damage standard laser look like? Can you make an MRM version of the SRM? What equation creates the tonnage of a given rating of a fusion engine?

Recently, I turned to ACs. Unlike missiles standard AC equations came out in one night's worth of work. Simple stuff. It was a bit tricky with the AC2's and AC5's having the same heat, but easy-peasy.

The template to turn an AC into a Light Autocannon was a bit harder. There are only two, so it's hard to make a nuanced trendline. If an AC2 loses 6 hexes range and an AC5 loses 3 hexes of range, then an AC8 would lose 0 hexes. An AC11 gains 3 hexes and in the end a “Light” AC 20 weighed 9 tons and had the reach of an LRM for the same heat and ammo efficiency as its standard counterpart.

Why would a weapon ostensibly made to create an AC niche nerf the LAC2 so much? Were banked LAC2’s keeping someone at FASA up at night? It was frustrating, as someone who likes choosing equipment and someone who likes making equipment.

Then I looked at the LBX and Ultra ACs. Really looked. I’d skimmed them a few times. Maybe cluck-clucked as I used an LBX 5 to round out an assault playload or made a joke LBX Jagermech, but I never really held the numbers up side-by-side. 

Missile Equations: Finale, Pt I

Man, after a lot of work, I finally have my 'good enough' missile equations. Let's get to it.

Is It Good?

So I ran these equations for SRMs, LRMs, and MRMs. I had to do the rest as templates because the numbers were cray. I also had to base factors on two things: damage per shot and to-hit over 38 hexes.

Damage per shot lumped damage per missile and missiles per shot (tubes) into one big factor that ignored cluster size. Surely, SRMs would change significantly if they landed in clusters of 5. These equations mostly don't care about that. Somehow, I made equations that allow for Thunderbolt launchers to be added as a template.

To-hit over 38 hexes, TH38, looks at the maximum range of Extended LRMs and using that as a cap, incorporates cluster bonuses/maluses, to-hit bonuses/maluses, minimum ranges, and range brackets into one factor that can be worked with. All I cared about was that the TH38 for SRMs was less than that for MRMs, which was less than that for LRMs. It was, so I ran with it.

Picard Season 2: Kirk and Picard

"Is there any value in reading Star Trek: Picard's development of Jean Luc's intervening career and retirement as a contrast to Kirk's?"

I hadn't thought about it. Kirk joined Starfleet out of personal ambition, attained great heights, found it lacking, then gave those heights up for his friends/family. He retired but still believed that being a Starfleet captain was a way to make a difference.

Picard had always wanted to be a Starfleet captain. Initially, we understand his motives to be noble and principled, but we understand that they're somehow more vainglorious than Kirk's. Kirk wants to get power and validation. Ultimately those things are hollow and unsatisfying so Kirk gave them up for what really mattered.

Now, clearly, there's no reason for Picard to take Kirk's advice any more heavily than advice from anyone else he's encountered. But maybe 'mythical Starfleet captain trapped in time like the King Arthur of space,' does beat the bell curve, and if Lower Decks is any indication of how the universe works...

Let's say he internalized Kirk's advice about being a captain as a way to make a difference. Picard still made the conscious choice to become an admiral because he thought Kirk was wrong or because making a difference wasn't as big a deal to him as being seen as the guy who made a difference.

Kirk actually no shit became friends with his crew and retired because Starfleet didn't satisfy him any more. The guy who almost destroyed Earth in TMP because he wanted to get back into space just...outgrew it.

Picard was told "no" because he couldn't or wouldn't read the political situation of Space 9/11 plus The Romulan Dunkirk and ragequit Starfleet before sulking in his tent for 15 years like Achilles with a news allergy. 15 years later, he has no knowledge of the status of Romulan refugees he personally knew and helped resettle.

Book Club on the Edge of Forever - Neuromancer

A few of us decided to start a book club for genre fiction (science fiction/fantasy). And while we were discussing, we thought we'd record it. The podcast is called The Book Club on the Edge of Forever. This month was Neuromancer: https://bookclubontheedgeofforever.podbean.com/e/neuromancer/

This months selections?

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor (9 points) - Her name is Binti, and she is the first of the Himba people ever to be offered a place at Oomza University, the finest institution of higher learning in the galaxy. But to accept the offer will mean giving up her place in her family to travel between the stars among strangers who do not share her ways or respect her customs.

Knowledge comes at a cost, one that Binti is willing to pay, but her journey will not be easy. The world she seeks to enter has long warred with the Meduse, an alien race that has become the stuff of nightmares. Oomza University has wronged the Meduse, and Binti's stellar travel will bring her within their deadly reach.

If Binti hopes to survive the legacy of a war not of her making, she will need both the gifts of her people and the wisdom enshrined within the University, itself ― but first she has to make it there, alive. 96 pages. 2.5 hour audiobook

The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan (13 points) - Considered by some to be quintessential epic fantasy, Robert Jordan took the fantasy genre that was created by Tolkien and elevated it even further.

In this first book of a 16 part series, a group of villagers must identify who is the Dragon Reborn, a hero that will come to save and destroy the world. It is 782 pages long and I will eat a copy of it if this gets chosen, one page at a time. It has also been subjected to a dramatization by Amazon and is currently being watched by millions.

The First Nova I See Tonight by Jason Kilgore (13 points) - Space jockey Dirken Nova and his cyborg companion, Yiorgos, are hired for an "easy money" job transporting a mysterious safebox between planets. It would be enough for them to finally afford their own starship again. But the gig goes sideways when galactic pirates attack. A merciless pirate captain, a tentacled mafioso, an enigmatic cult, and a femme fatale alien lover all want the package for themselves. Who's a smuggler to trust? 

This space opera is a return to the beloved "zap gun" stories of the past -- a fun, exciting, and sometimes erotic romp across the galaxy! 249 pages.

Neuromancer by William Gibson's (23 points) - Gibson's 1984 novel that really kicked cyberpunk into the mainstream. It's a story about a hacker, stripped of his abilities, who agrees to take on a new job for the chance to cure the damage that keeps him out of cyberspace. It won the Nebula and the Hugo the year it came out, and I loved it when I read it, but with NFTs and the Metaverse in the news I'm curious about how it holds up and what it's like to read it almost 40 years later. 270 pages. I don't remember there being anything especially objectionable in it.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone (17 points) - 208 pages. Two agents in a time war start a correspondence. Big Piranesi vibes. I picked it up in my quest for substantive stories about time wars. It was disappointing on that front, but a good read.

As always, the points are the end result of ranked voting from all 5 of our members.

I wasn't sure why I wasn't compelled by Bindi. I don't remember who I voted for this one. It seems pretty stock. It clearly pitches me the idea--maybe just an idea--in the blurb; culture and education. I mean, yeah, IDIC. It seemed to confidently tell me what it was about and it wasn't novel enough. If I realized how short it was, it got a solid bump up the ranks.

Oh wow, the first book in an epic fantasy series. I get that following series and authors are a way of guaranteeing quality in the face of Sturgeon's Law. On the other hand fuck epic fantasy series. If you're going to write one hundred thousand books about your fantasy world without sexy elf twinks, you could at least make each book more digestible than a dictionary.

If was writing an epic fantasy series, I wouldn't use the Encyclopedia Britannica as a template.

This is How You Lose the Time War was my suggestion. I realize my description is short, but it came in second. All I have to say about it is that it's short and good.

Our final runner-up (last loser?) is First Nova I See Tonight, a high adventure sci-fi adventure that styles itself a callback like Captain Proton, but played straight. However simple Binti's idea was, it had an idea. First Nova doesn't seem like it's got that, even. I guess there's nothing wrong with a wiz-bang adventure. It's better than another bloody epic fantasy series. 

Another Bloody Epic Fantasy Series? ABEFS? I'll workshop it.

Finally Neuromancer. 

Yes. 

Yes, I would like to read a science-fiction classic.

This isn't even close, guys.

You can find The Book Club at the Edge of Forever here: https://bookclubontheedgeofforever.podbean.com/

Danger 5

But then, there's a lot to be said about Australian comedy.

Even if it's probably 33% cocaine by word count.

BattleMech Equipment Survey: Round 2

As you know, I've been doing surveys about Battletech equipment for BattleMechs. I finished Round 1 a while back and now we're in the home stretch of Round 2. 

Looking at the numbers, I plan about eight rounds. That's, frankly, an exhausting amount of work to know that Double Heat Sinks are great and Flails are ridiculous. I do not do this because it is easy or reasonable, I do this because I like to make numbers do things.

As always, I'll leave these up until some time on Friday. Any votes from any sample size are welcome. Comments are always welcome. I thought I understood some of this equipment until some folks started talking about them, and just reading what equipment does doesn't always say how it works on the battlefield.

Just a few notes (survey links at the bottom):

Australian Comedy

 "Australian Comedy" isn't something I think of much, as a concept, but okay.