So very sorry.
Mar 1, 2006
I took to the coffee shop today for studying. Public places are generally good places for me to study. I get to whip out a book and some papers and study. Well, I generally tend to sit alone when I do this (as my papers and things need "spreadin' out space"), but the coffee shop was pretty crowded. Not to look thwarted in front of a mall of (nearly) perfect (but not nearly perfect enough) strangers, I simply ordered my coffee, resolving that if someone didn't vacate a table within the time it took to get it, I would simply invite myself to sit with someone.
And I did.
We talked for a goddamn hour. A god. Damned. Hour.
Not that it wasn't pleasant, but I still had things to do. She invited me to a movie, and I politely told her I was out of pissing away time. I had to work--I still have to work. She wanted to at least exchange numbers.
Given that I haven't made time to talk with people that actually mean things to me as of late, I told her the odds of getting a phone call were pretty slim.
Despite the fact that I deeply underestimated what a faux paux it was, I think she took it pretty well. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings (but then, hurting people's feeling is one of those things I'm so good at I really can't help but do it. It's one of my mutant powers [along with relating anything to an episode of Star Trek, putting people to sleep with my voice, being immune to brain cancer, and eliminating whole tracts of my own memory]), but I did hurt her feelings.
Not that she's the only one right now.
I didn't do the wrong thing though; I stick by that.
She didn't wonder if I'd call. She didn't call me multiple times only to get blown off. The truth hurts, but it hurts a lot worse after lies and evasions.
I like meeting new people, but I really, really don't have time to follow up. I wish things were different, but sadly, they aren't. I am an asshole.
But hey, I've got my priorities stright, right?
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