CORRECTIONS Episode 157

 

"Maybe Man" by AJR

 

Magic: The Gathering: Star Trek: Part II

Intro

A big reason I left Magic: the Gathering was the creation of the Universes Beyond brand imprint. I mean, if I have to say the phrase "brand imprint,' things aren’t going great. I should be able to buy my Magic cards and play Magic and not think about branding, intellectual property, or any of the cursed phrases I’m about to say —

Magic was going to use that brand imprint to create cross-corporate synergy with AMC's The Walking Dead franchise. It was going to be a dozen, maybe two dozen, cards representing the The Walking Dead television series. There’s a lot of reasons not to like that.

As cynics and hypemen predicted, The Walking Dead Magic product was just the beginning. It was immediately followed by Stranger Things, Street Fighter, Warhammer 40K, and, honestly, most of the The Ultimate Showdown (of ultimate destiny).

Not pictured.

And I was unhappy at the time, but I did have to ask myself, "What if they did this with an intellectual property I liked?" I couldn’t think of any at the time because the ones I thought were unthinkable, but late last year Wizards of the Coast revealed they'd broken the genre/taste barrier: Magic: The Gathering: Star Trek.

My response at the time was unenthusiastic, but in the creation of those Universes Beyond and other products in the time since I left Magic, Wizards of the Coast had done some creative work. I kept up to poo-poo the bad ones and ignore the good ones, but I'm a bitch. 

Matt Berry reads a letter from Robert Crumb

 

Movie Trailers for August

The story is that I wanted to watch a movie in August, but when it came down to it, it was either spend 3 hours watching The Odyssey or watching Spider-Man, and neither one of those propositions appealed to me.

I usually do just ten of these, plus some honorable mentions for TV series. This month is gonna be different because...there are some patterns. I'll group movies with similar elements with a title.

Our House. In the Middle of Our--OH GOD WHAT IS THAT!? 

The Last House (August 7th)

The End of Oak Street (August 14th)

 

I listed The Last House first because it just looks better and it reminds me less of the 1997 The Outer Limits episode, "Feasibility Study."

It also looks a little more horror than action, with a mystery that slowly unravels. As opposed to The End of Oak Street, which concedes we're on an alien planet with murder dinosaurs and I guess you're just fucked.

 

"Long Live" by Taylor Swift, Star Trek AMV

 

Magic: The Gathering: Star Trek: Part 1

As you know, I'm a fan of BattleTech. For a long time, BattleTech fiction was only available on sourcebooks and in a small publication of short stories called BattleCorps. It was filled with vignettes, stories too short to be worth a novel and yet still integral to the universe of BattleTech, if only in terms of tone and themes.

It's been a while since I've read "En Passant," so I don't think you need to worry about spoilers. This may not even be accurate.

It's 3065. The Federated Commonwealth's Civil War continues apace. Some noble houses, especially those on the border with the Draconis Combine, have stayed neutral. Years of enmity with the Dragon have kept them laser-focused on an external enemy, even while Loyalists and Allies tear the rest of the realm apart.

An heir of one of these small houses, Päl Wyndham-Sandoval, returns home from a failed pre-emptive strike against the Combine. Travel in BattleTech is slow; it takes a week to get to a jumpship. An instant to jump, but another week before you can jump again. War itself isn't any faster.

He's recovering from minor injuries and only wants to see his wife, Khim, and son. A son that barely knows him. His parents are interested in the political fallout of their misadventure across the border. For them, it's grim; those with actual power are working to ease tensions with the Combine.

Päl himself supports this. He is happy to be home with his wife and child. He loves his family and he's happy to be out of combat so he can wear his wedding ring again.His parents are apoplectic, trying to drum up hatred for the Combine and plunge this sliver of peace back into war as part of their own petty power plays. Perhaps they'll throw in with Katherine Steiner-Davions Loyalists so they can pursue their vendetta against their neighbors.

That evening, as the family prepares for a banquet in honor of his returning, an assassin enters his quarters. They take his wife hostage and just as Päl realizes he is the target and not Khim, he strikes.

Ojai Valley Taxidermy

 

"Home" by Ellie Goulding, DS9 AMV

 

The IT Crowd - A Fire at Sea Parks

 

The Clout Hustlers, Pt I

So there's this island. Small. Tropical. Corrupt. The tourists come in through the airport. They enjoy the shows, the beaches, and the casinos. Visitors from nearby islands come in through the dock, and they're not particularly welcome.

So a guy arrives at the dock early in the morning and the two customs agents take the basket he's carrying and look inside. They see a bunch of rocks.

Protestors have been throwing rocks at police, so rocks of a certain size aren't allowed in the country. The customs agents measure the guy's rocks by length, they weigh them, and they put them in a special pan full of water to test their displacement. They check them for subversive messages and even crack a few in half to check inside. It's a long and ridiculous process, but all of the rocks are fine.

So they tell the guy to put the rocks back into his basket and go about his business.

That evening, they see the guy leave on the last boat out of the dock.

The next day, the guy is at the dock. Early in the morning. Unfazed by his experience yesterday. But, instead of rocks the customs agents find his basket is half full of poker chips. They aren't labeled with the name of any casino, but the casinos pay a lot of money to keep counterfeit chips off of the island.

The two agents scan each chip for fake RFID chips. They break a few in half and check inside. They use a UV light to check them for barcodes. They measure them against a diagram showing casino chip sizes and they're different from all the other chips on the island.

After forty-five minutes of every other arrival staring holes in the back of the guy's head, the customs agents tell him to put his chips back in his basket and go about his business.

That evening, they see the guy leave on the last boat out of the dock.

The next morning, he's back, sweating with a basket full of plastic water bottles. There's no law against bringing water onto the island, but the government has a sole license to sell alcohol and rioters have been using molotov cocktails.

So they have to check every bottle to see if the contents are flammable. They open them, sniff them, pour out some drops and try to light them on fire. They peel off every label and search them for anti-government propaganda. This process goes on a while so they even drink one each.

But it's all water. So they tell the guy to wipe down their counter, take his water bottles, and go.

He does, and that evening they see the guy leave on the last boat out of the dock.

This goes on for several months until the rioters become revolutionaries, recruit a majority of the citizens to their cause, and overthrow the government. Government control is relaxed, relations with neighboring islands are improved, and the customs agents are let go and find different jobs.

"Last Friday Night" by Katie Pery, DS9 AMV

 

Movie Notes: Superman (2025)

I take notes when I watch movies and after the movies, I post those notes on the internet. These are my notes for Superman. Notes made after the movie are made in <<>>'s.

Previews

Naked Gun 2025 - Okay

 

Smurfs - Are we still doing "that's gonna leave a mark"? Are we still doing it or did we go all the way around and the back to "that's gonna leave a mark"?

 

The Odyssey - Initially thought this was "The Return" with Ralph Fiennes. But it's The Odyssey with Tom Holland. I've seen hotter Telemechai. 

<<Discussion has since been consumed by the *horror* of a dark-skinned Helen and a transgender Achilles. Which is a shame.>>

 

Wicked II - Okay. It's a part three? Can't even guess about the arc of this series.

 

Treason and Truth - Again; GUNS are our most powerful weapon. The truth is up there, but guns are very powerful. And apache attack helicopters. They've got guns and missiles.

 

Project: Hail Mary - Obvious mix of Interstellar and The Martian. Written by the The Martian guy. No kiddin'.

 

Fantastic Four - Looks good. Interesting to put together context clue from the Thunderbolts and the last mini trailer. [Man, I was wrong about most of that.]

 

Cat & The Hat - Bill Hader? "A new world." Yeah, let's make the Seuss-iverse happen. ::(

 

Welcome Back - Is that the The Last of Us woman?

 

One Battle After Another - Very different from the first trailer.

Halo 3: Believe

 

"Shake It Out" by Florence and the Machine, DS9 AMV

 

Bore of a Canon

Growing up, people told me they'd read The Bible and I never thought too much of it. I assumed it was something everyone got around to doing. Like having sex or getting a driver's license. As an adult, I now realize not everyone has sex in their lives. And also, fewer have read The Bible.

I should specify: the Christian Bible, not the Star Trek: The Next Generation series bible.

Personally, I think it's more important that Doctor Crusher can diagnose diseases at a glance, than יְחִי הַמֶּלֶךְ שְׁלֹמֹה, whatever that means.

The Bible is just a collection of books written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek. It's a collection of books and scrolls. Accounts and even just collections of letters from a couple of guys.

What collections of turn-of-the-Anno Domini writings are and aren't in The Bible isn't a matter of some unified history with one authority over them. It was a system of shared, hand-written texts that would have yearned for the anarchic underground zine resources of the late 20th Century.

A Bible–the bible most of us think of as The Bible–wasn't formed until, I think 1546 and the Council of Trent . And look, Orthodox Christians, Mormons, and Latter Day saints all have their own take. Mostly because those later two–or should I say "Latter Two"--didn't see anything particularly unique or magical about 1546. As long as their god may deign to speak, The Bible is a living document.

Senile Scribbles: Skyrim

 

Everybody to the Limit by StrongBad

 

The New Fuhrer

 

Movie Trailers July 2026

I know it's been a while, but let's do a movie roundup for July. 

Spider-Man: Brand New Day (July 24th)

Looks good. The Punisher/Hulk elements seem to be supporting elements as they should be. I don't know why we need to make biological web shooters or immediately undo the last movie. I don't know why Spider-Man is fighting The Hand and...I wanna say, Denzel Washington from the movie Fallen, but I'm willing to go with it.

Has nothing to do with the comics, AFAIK, but I think we're good with that.