Just a Great Movie

 

Movie Trailers for May 2024

 Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes     

Current Ape Level: 100%

 

Evil Does Not Exist - May 3rd

I focus on US films because that's the movies I watch. I watched the trailer for Evil Does Not Exist knowing it probably wouldn't make the cut on that basis. 

But here it is.

 

Darkness of Man (May 21st)

It's an action movie, but get this: the protagonist is over the hill. 

And you won't believe it, but: he's still got it.

Fall Guy (May 3rd)

Stunt double movie. Seems like a fun, stupid romantic comedy with maybe a bit too much pretentious action. They could maybe reveal a bit less of the plot. Also, I feel I'd want the action to be played down a bit because it's about being a stunt double and what they do is hard and dangerous.

 

Pool Man (May 10th)

Funny lil' movie. If you like Chris Pine sorta being a good fit for any movie he's in, this looks like another one.

The Dead Don't Hurt (May 31st)

At this point, Viggo Mortensen just wanders around Hollywood and a film of him being a cowboy shows up in theaters 9 months later.

I wrote that joke at the beginning of the trailer, but now I can only describe it as: Deeply Intriguing.

If (May 17th)

This is the very mid-looking Ryan Reynolds thing about imaginary friends that feels like a retread of Foster's Home for Imaginary friends and feels like it's the second imaginary friends movie to come out this year.

 

The Strangers : Chapter 1

Yeah, the nuanced world of three random psychos with perfect timing and coordination and kill out-of-towners needed fleshing out. 

You might say that two minutes of a woman NOT-answering a door isn't a trailer. I would say that 'Townies murder tourists' is not a franchise.

 

Atlas (May 24th)

I'll be honest with you, I thought Jennifer Lopez was a bit too old to play tough bitch roles and I never thought I'd see her doing science fiction, but I'm interested. Let's do this.

 

Furiosia (May 24th)

I didn't even see the last Mad Max and I got goosebumps from this, so 'well done.' The look is almost animated. I didn't even recognize Chris Hemsworth.

Garfield (May 24th)

Which would be worse? A presidential biopic or a serious reboot of the franchise films about a big orange cat?

Trick question. The reboot with Chris Pratt is the worst.

 

March Takes 

The Three Body Problem: Looks like people like it. SPOILERS:

Everything Else

Man in Full - May 2nd

Technically a series, but Jeff Daniels generally does good shit or the Dumb and Dumber movies, and I don't see Jim Carrey here.

"What are you gonna do, shoot me?" -Man shot

 

Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang is great.

Spatial Awareness in The Shining

 

1,000-Shot Nerf Blaster

 

I'm queuing these on July 15, 2023.

What is your world like, future reader?

Garnier Laboritoire